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If you haven't already, start by communicating that you need more and different kinds of emotional support from your partner. They deserve a chance to develop this skill. If they're not able or willing to meet your needs, you're not a good fit. I learned this the hard way. But you deserve someone who can meet your emotional support needs.
As far as the other non-romantic relationships go, you don't have to cut people off, but you should find other, more empathetic people to lean on. I have very close friends that I know will be there for me when I need emotional support. I also have other good friends who aren't as good at it, and we get along just fine and bond over shared interests.
Thanks - I have been communicating about this and maybe there has been some improvement. But we have been together a long time, so the fact that I'm not even sure things have improved is a bad sign. I will keep putting in the best effort I can though as long as I'm in the relationship. It's tricky because I can tell my partner has a good core that wants to help me, but she can't get to that emotional place that lets her connect due to her own anxieties. I can see a path where we support each other but right now I would say her needs are getting met significantly more than my own, and I'm scared that I will talk myself into staying even if I shouldn't.
Yeah you're right, it's probably a numbers game. You can't gel with everyone. I've just been dealt a very rough hand for the last few years and it feels hopeless but it's only hopeless if we give up.
I'm on the other side of this sort of situation and I think this is a good way to approach it at first.
I have a hard time opening up to people and I recognize that. But recognizing it and acting on it are two different things. So to the OP give them that push and let them know that you want more from them. They may already know that they aren't giving you enough. Right now I have to deal with the worst feeling of having someone I really cared about and had feelings for distance themselves from me because I didn't really give it my all. And I was hoping she'd let me know, but she didn't. And I don't blame her for that if course. It's just more difficult for some of us than others to fully express ourselves.
I can imagine it is hard to know what you need to do and for whatever reason feel that it's out of reach. My partner has expressed the same feeling to me and, quite frankly, taken moments of great pain for me and made them about her feelings of inadequacy for not knowing how to support me. There are a lot of traps to walk into here.
I will keep communicating, I will keep trying for as long as it makes sense to. I just am running out of ways to say "please help me or at least don't make this worse".
Ah I see. If it's a pattern then, yeah, I can see how each time you'd feel worse. Like it's out there, but I think it's fair that you'd want to see some sort of growth too.