this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2022
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menby

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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

Guidelines:

  1. Questions over blame
  2. Humility over pride
  3. Wisdom over dogma
  4. Actions over image

Rules (expansions on the guidelines):

  1. Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
    • Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
    • If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
    • If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
    • This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
    • A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
    • Examples:
      • "This is reactionary. Here's why."
      • "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
      • "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
  2. You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
    • Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
    • If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
    • If you can't engage self-critically, delete your post.
    • If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
  3. No singular masculine ideal.
    • This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
    • Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
    • Don't reinforce the idea the fulfillment requires masculinity.
    • This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
  4. No lifestyle content.
    • Post the picture of your new grill in !food (feminine people like grills too smh my head).
    • Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
    • At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
    • If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.

Resources:

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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There's a real double standard to guys and sometimes, being real here, it bothers me. (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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I want to state up first I get it, I'm on the right side, most of these men are awful, and every man-o-sphere influence is awful. Andrew Tate belongs in a 6 foot deep hole, or a hole in the back of his head. Joe Rogan should be sent to the Hague.

But when dudes complain, even about genuine issues, we have a tendency to just attack them for it. If a guy complains that being short can kinda suck (and it can. More so than just getting girls, it can hurt your career and everything.) People, even leftists, tend to just call them a sad manlet or something. Same thing with dudes complaining they can't get a girlfriend, are they not alienated under capitalism? I'm not saying we have to coddle the incels, but we could do better at presenting a future, a better one, maybe?

The discourse about height, and dick size, are both stupid but here (in this safe space) can I admit that there's a point to both? They affect people, it's a real thing.

And back to the Joe Rogan's, I feel bad that men and boys get sucked into that. I have some pity for them, these desperate losers.

Anyways, Im sure I'm going to think this is dumb, but I just can't help but feel like there's a gigantic community of extremely disaffected people that while I mostly loathe, I also really feel bad for. I don't think it would've taken much to push me there, I grew up in a good environment with some good role models, but without that, left to the wolves, I'm as susceptible to the grifters as everyone is.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Joe Rogan should be sent to the Hague.

Wait what?

I thought he was just some dumbass who takes steroids and has a podcast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I thought he was just some dumbass who takes steroids and has a podcast.

one of the biggest mistakes people make in assessing the political character of public figures is to imagine that what they do is simply "neutral" by default and that it would require some effort on their part to play a reactionary role. But when American society is fundamentally reactionary, capitalist, imperialist, colonialist, racist, and plagued by all kinds of phobias towards marginalized groups, then someone like Joe Rogan plays a reactionary role simply by sitting around and talking. Whether he realizes it or not, the ruling ideas are the ideas of the ruling class. His audience defends him by saying he lets on "both left wing and right wing people." But if you notice, the farthest "left" people he lets on are Social Democratic people like Kyle Kulinski and libertarian whistleblowers like Edward Snowden. He lets on far more right wing influencers than left wing influencers by default, but most of who he has on are simply capitalists. Celebrities, athletes, CEOs. These are by default going to be members of the bourgeoisie who have a heavy stake in maintaining the status quo. He also lets on CIA assets like Yeonmi Park. And Joe Rogan himself being a multi billion dollar business owner who advertises products, is himself bourgeoisie. Even if he had never said anything prejudiced (which he did) he is fundamentally just a capitalist.