this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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Basically what it says on the tin. Having read though some of the materials on the issue, I am baffled by how recklessly the word is used, given the consequences of such usage.

Pedophiles are the people with sexual attraction to prepubescent children. It doesn't matter whether they do or don't act on that attraction; in fact, many don't. It is a sexual interest/mental condition that cannot be reliably changed.

Child molesters, on the other hand, are not necessarily pedophiles - in fact, 50 to 75% of child molesters do not have pedophilic interest.

Both facts can be sourced from the respective Wikipedia article and more info can be found in respective research.

Why does this matter?

Because the current use of the word reinforces stigma around pedophilia and makes it less likely for people with pedophilic disorder to reach out for help for the fear they would be outed and treated the same as actual child abusers.

This, in turn, makes those in a vulnerable position more likely to cross the line and get into the category of child abusers instead of coming for help. Also, it heavily affects people who did nothing to deserve such treatment.

What should we do?

We should leave the word "pedophile" to the context in which it belongs, which is the mental health and sexuality spheres, and avoid using the term to describe sexual offenders against minors. At the very least, one would most likely be wrong. At most, one would participate in the cycle of child abuse.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Wow, this one got me. Top tier unpopular opinion.

You lay out pretty good points, mostly in terms of specificity.

And then you continue pointing out that there's likely no choice for a pedophile, and that they're not abusers until they abuse someone. And hey, I can get on board with that.

But man, if you really think that there shouldn't be a severe social stigma attached to pedophilia, then I really gotta disagree with you there. This should be something a person should only feel comfortable talking about with their doctor, close loved ones, or anonymously like you're doing here. There should be no stigma attached to getting help, but this isn't fun facts about yourself you should share with others.

If this is you, get help. And if you are getting help, I am honestly glad for you. But please don't ever think that anyone outside of professionals, loved ones, and other pedophiles is ever going to not have a visceral reaction to the revelation that you are attracted to kids. It is an appropriate defense mechanism meant to attempt to separate potential victims from their potential abusers.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'm not one, but yes, pedophiles should absolutely reach out for help if possible and if they need any. I'mma play it open - I had a close person of mine opening up to me, and I did my best to research before proceeding.

I think it should be treated like "wow, okay. Hope you know that abusing children is bad, and if so, I'm here with you".

It shouldn't be a fun fact, but it shouldn't be "you sicko pervert let me shoot you" kind of situation.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

I think you contradict yourself here. You say there should be a stigma about having these thoughts but then say people should get help and not be stigmatized for it.

If there is a stigmatization about it, then that is going to keep people from bringing it up and getting help due to fear of being attacked either physically, financially, or emotionally.