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Reform voters ‘no understand why Nigel no live in big London house’ (newsthump.com)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear.

“Nigel won. Nigel get house. Nigel the big boss now?” they queried, with all the political sophistication the Reform party has come to rely on during the election campaign.

“Where Nigel? WHERE Nigel??”

When it was explained to Derek that Nigel won a single constituency, out of 650, and that Reform MPs can actually be counted on one hand, Derek looked ever more perplexed.

“Consti-chewsy? Nigel win election. Not Consti-chewsy! Nigel WIN! NIGEL STOP BOATS!”

At this point Derek began to get agitated, and it was decided it was best to calm him by returning him to his natural habitat inside a Wetherspoons with a copy of the Daily Mail in front of him.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Although you may be right, this is not actually The Onion