Unpopular Opinion

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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was (lemmy.cafe)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

580 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It's probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent "bear vs man" debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I spent years being horrible to women and drinking because of the resentments I had.

Don't make my mistake.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You seem to think you know a whole lot about how I interact with men. The only thing you’ve been given is “I’m cautious” and you’re comparing me to, in your words, a horrible alcoholic.

I am not you, my life is not yours.

You can be polite, nice, compassionate, etc. without TRUSTING someone. You can do right by people without giving them your trust. A lack of mutual trust does not perclude being a good person.

Implicit trust in a stranger is at best naivety, at worst ignorance.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Good luck with your endeavors.

I tried save you a lot of years of suffering, but you're obviously not ready to drop the hate and resentment.

I hope you're ready for that soon, for everyone's sake.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

I hope you drop the superiority complex someday. Assuming you know better than someone you know practically nothing about is delusional.