this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
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Mildly Infuriating
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We had a baby recently and I tried to read a few books geared towards men to be better prepared.
The bar for men is very, very low. It’s a tripping hazard.
The guidance in all of them was a pathetic mix of “have you tried basic empathy?” and idiotic sports metaphors. It was baffling. Are most men actually like stupid sitcom dads from the 90s?
Yes! I got pregnant and the online advice for me was a million pages long of avoid this, do that, research everything, do 20 hours a day worth of stuff, but get enough sleep! Don't stress or it will hurt the baby!
The online advice for him literally introduced empathy as if it were a concept he had never heard of before. The bar is below the floor. We just had him research as if he was going to be a mom.
Seriously, baby/pregnancy/parenting books for men are extremely difficult to find.
I think 90s sitcom dads is a bar most men won't reach.
Unfortunately, the bar really is pretty low. Even most modern men who would consider themselves to be feminists(/consider woman to be equals) don't do their fair share of household work, let alone parenting. It's really ingrained in the culture.