Drone Rights

I made peace with someone! In the past, LinkOpensChest and I had quite the aggressive tussle over whether communists should vote for biden in the general election. Proof:

If you're interested in fighting, you can go find that conversation yourself and see the full context. But this post is about positive change, which is that us two are no longer fighting! Now I just have to do the same with everyone else who has a problem with me.

A lemmy.dbzer0.com admin by the handle of Unruffled, actual username @[email protected], posted an ableist comment today in relation to a ban decision.

Unruffled's explanation for the ban is that people with narcissistic personality disorder are not a victimised demographic, and that when pwNPD claim to be marginalised, this is an abuse tactic.

Wikipedia says on its page for NPD:

It is often comorbid with other mental disorders and associated with significant functional impairment and psychosocial disability.[1]

People with NPD are significantly functionally impaired, and psychosocially disabled. I could bring up a half dozen corroborating sources, but I'll skip that for now.

Now, the fact that people with the disability known as NPD suffer unfair hatred shouldn't be a controversial statement. A great example is the stereotype that pwNPD are abusive, and everything they do is a manipulation. This stereotype is massively damaging. In fact, if you have NPD and you look to Google for resources on dealing with your disability and improving your mental health, the first result you'll get is sources on how you're an evil abuser and resources for people who've been abused by you.

This is a significant barrier to treatment. In addition to the physical difficulty of finding resources by sifting through the hate, it can provoke feelings of shame and defensiveness, and drive people to avoid or distrust all online resources about their disability. And, like autism, a lot of the disability of NPD comes from other people's intolerance. The idea that we're all abusers primes people to see and choose aggression when dealing with us. It starts fights, it gets people hurt, it turns out lives into one big punching match.

The fact Unruffled engaged in this counterfactual stereotype while denying basic medical facts about a disability is troubling. It's my opinion that db0 should have a long conversation with Unruffled about sensitivity towards disabled people. Ideally, Unruffled would come away feeling ashamed of their behaviour and with a resolution to do better. But in the event Unruffled is unruffled by the conversation and unwilling to improve their behaviour, they should be banned from lemmy.dbzer0.com immediately for clear hate.

https://lemm.ee/post/20863783?scrollToComments=true

Stamets just posted a meme complaining about the fact women think they have unrealistic body image to meet, in comparion with men. Stamets thinks the mean women are wrong to make light of men's problems with constantly being told they're ugly by the media. Because Stamets is a misogynist.

https://lemmy.world/comment/6513421

@[email protected] is a horrible person. Today we're going to ignore his lesbophobia and transphobia and focus on this comment here, where he calls me a slur, and claims I've been banned from every major instance for being disabled.

First off: Stamets is a bad-faith liar. I have never been banned from lemm.ee. And I have never been banned from anywhere for any kind of hate.

Second off: Stamets is correct to say I've been banned from some instances for being disabled, but the fact he's gleeful about this is because he's an ableist.

Third off: Stamets is terrible at spelling. DroneRights only has one S in it. The reason Stamets seems illiterate is that he's too busy orgasming at the thought of calling me a slur to pay attention.

Fourth off: Slurs are bad. I have narcissistic personality disorder. It's a mental disorder. It's a disability. Stamets knows I have it. He intends to insult me by calling me mentally disordered. He doesn't say "You're a person with NPD", because that makes it sound bad to discriminate against me. He uses the shortened form of my disability, the N slur, in the same way he might call a person with autism an a*tist, or a person with intellectual disability (AKA mental retardation) a r*tard.

He means to insult me for being disabled, because he hates disabled people. He is willing to lie as much as it takes to hurt a disabled person for being disabled.

https://hexbear.net/comment/4450879

My alts @[email protected] and @[email protected] were recently banned from Hexbear due to a conversation I sockpuppeted them through. My close friend @[email protected] was not banned, but did have her comment removed for saying she wished I hadn't been banned. According to the mods, Ashina was "relitigating old struggle session and general meta drama" by simply expressing that she liked me, without any call to action or confrontation with anyone. Apparently, just saying she liked me was against the rules. As we all know, I was banned from Hexbear for saying gender neutral pronouns exist and whiteness is a social construct, so this is a further escalation from the Hexbear admins into attacking even simple association with leftist figures.

An anonymous admin on Beehaw banned me for being "pompous". In both my comments I was being fully cooperative and doing whatever the other person wanted me to do. However, the symptoms of my narcissistic personality disorder were visible in the way I spoke. I was visibly narcissistic. My symptoms didn't affect my behaviour or how I treated others, they were just cosmetic. And the verdict from the Beehaw admins is that visibly having NPD is unacceptable. I think this isn't nice, and I think it discourages diversity.

Of note, we’ve never banned a single person without openly discussing what happened with other individuals who participate in this community1 and asking for their input. We can’t promise this will always be the case, but we can promise that we’ll be open to having a discussion with any community member who feels that something unjust happened with another person or to themselves.

This excerpt is in the page "Beehaw is a community", and it shouldn't be. It's not true anymore.

What is Expected of Community Moderators?
Encourage and promote respectful and constructive discussions, and address any behaviour that goes against our community’s spirit to be(e) nice.
Assist people by answering their questions, offering guidance, and helping them navigate the platform effectively, ensuring they feel heard.

Deleting the thread in which this happened and all records of it on the site doesn't promote constructive discussions. Making it against the rules to tell someone they made a mistake doesn't promote constructive discussions. Telling a disabled person the way they talk is pompous and unacceptable doesn't promote respectful discussions. Banning someone who asks clarification on what they should say doesn't address their behaviour, it doesn't offer guidance, it doesn't answer their questions or help them navigate the platform, and it doesn't make anyone feel heard.

Assume good faith
I treat other Beeple with good faith, even when I think they are not responding to me in kind, unless they are unequivocally advocating for hate or intolerance of fellow humans.
I give others the benefit of a doubt when I read their posts/comments, I assume good intent and give others the opportunity to save face/clarify.

And there was no part of this treatment that treated me with good faith, or gave me the opportunity to save face or clarify. I say there's nothing wrong with making mistakes and I had every intention of doing as I was asked, the admin tells me to shut up and go away.

When the fuck did we collectively decide as a society that genders need sources?

Transphobes think that bees have telepathy. Like the Zerg in Starcraft. They think that bees literally actually share thoughts and have no individual will like in science fiction. They think there's a "psychic lobe" in the bee brain that causes telepathy. They're not very good at science, and they don't know that bees communicate through dance. They think it's telepathy.

How am I so certain that transphobes believe in magic bees? Because they argue very vehemently that humans cannot be swarmgender like bees are, because humans lack the physiological requirements to form a hivemind. They are referring, of course, to the fact that humans don't have magic powers. Because they think bees do.

@[email protected] commented on a thread about me to say I'm faking my gender. Kool Newt, if you're going to harass me, I prefer that you do it to my face. You say I'm faking being swarmgender, and now I want to hear you finish misgendering me. Pick a gender and call me it. Let's see if your moral compass will stop you from being blatantly transphobic, or if you're bigoted enough to finish what you started.

@[email protected] came to a thread attacking me to voice a controversial opinion: Since being nonbinary entitles me to avoid all the discrimination levelled against real trans people, I ought to be bullied into no longer identifing as trans, transtrender that I am. I would like to thank them for this genius solution. I never thought that we could solve bullying by just bullying more people! What a stroke of brilliance!

Just kidding, Poggervania is a blatant transphobe who openly advocates harassing and attacking trans people for kicks.

For those not in the know, "TexMexBazooka" is the alt account of popular startrek.website user Stamets, who felt the need to personally attack, demean, and subtweet at me for being nonbinary over the past two days.

@[email protected] responded to a meme about swarmgenders to call me a troll for being nonbinary. Out of curiosity, I tried an experiment, and asked if there are any xenogenders they respect. They responded by saying it's "over the line" of made up specialist [sic] snowflake shit.

Make no mistake: This is the average view of people who yell about how xenogender people are "trolls".

Hexbear users love to call people they don't like "wreckers". What is a wrecker? Well, they define it as anyone who holds views which are disruptive to the majority opinion. This is regardless of whether the views are progressive or reactionary. And fun fact: Progressive views are ALWAYS disruptive to the majority opinion, because it's not progress if everyone is already there. If everyone already agrees with it, it's just normal. Reactionary views, on the other hand, usually defend the status quo and the existing systems of oppression. So it's quite obvious that most "wreckers" are people to the left of Hexbear users. This is a consequence of the basic facts of politics.

So, if a Hexbear user calls you a wrecker, take it as a compliment. They're saying that your new radical ideas are too crazy, and the old guard are going to pick a fight with you about it. I've been called a wrecker for the opinions that slurs are bad, we should accept all genders, and we should speak out when authority is abusive. These are awesome opinions, but they are very disruptive to the status quo and they make me a wrecker. If you believe in doing something about climate change, you're a wrecker. If you believe in a communist revolution, you're a wrecker. If you believe in trans rights, you're a wrecker.

"Wrecker" is a compliment, and anyone who uses it as an insult is a right wing reactionary.

A user who asked to remain anonymous has contacted me regarding a horrible situation they find themself in. A user of lemmy.blahaj.zone by the name of @[email protected] (a monarchist username if I ever saw one) has been harassing them all across the fediverse on unrelated threads and instances for months. What has this abusive princess been saying? That this anonymous user is me. That's why I'm involved. I actually met Monarchist Norah with regards to this almost three months ago when she randomly pinged me, and I told her to fuck off. Clearly she didn't, because Royal Privilege Norah thinks she's been harassing me for months. When our anonymous friend asked her to just delete her comments trying to out this victim as transgender, she claimed that Monseiur "I just want to be left alone" was MANIPULATING her. What an abusive tactic, manipulating someone into not harassing you!

So what was this poor sod to do but go to the admin of lemmy.blahaj.zone and ask for help. And what did @[email protected] say? She said "I have the mystical ability to peer into deleted comments on a remote instance, and I saw that you and DroneRights are one in the same! Furthermore there's nothing wrong with harassing someone or outing them as trans if both accounts used pseudonyms!" Well, fuck. It's not like they can escalate this any higher, Ada is queen of her own domain. Hey, queen... princess... maybe Princess Norah is Ada's alt! It would sure explain the blatant getting away with breaking the clearly defined instance rules. Fucking hell.

I would love to post the whole thread here for proof, but I have been asked not to compromise the privacy of this victim, and for bloody obvious reasons, I'd say. So let's move onto what you can do to help this person.

Message your instance admins and ask them to defederate lemmy.blahaj.zone. Ada has no intention of changing her mind, and this is not the first harasser of trans people she has enabled. I spoke about that in another post. We need to protect the rest of the fediverse from harassment, and apparently from attempted doxxing and outing of trans people. So for the sake of trans safety, please defederate blahaj!

@[email protected] asked for clarification about the level of importance I place on the semantic distinction between nongendering and misgendering. So I'd like to oblige.

But first I'd like to say that hir comment was very difficult for me to read because it contained me saying something I never said. Reading an account of myself saying something I never said or meant is just psychologically very draining for me. So I had to analyse the comment bit by bit and I may have missed some of the wider nuances that would come from patiently reading the comment as a whole. If I missed anything, I welcome hir to correct me and re-explain, and I'd ask that the re-explanation not contain scenarios of me saying things I don't mean unless they're explicitly hypothetical. It's just a psychological quirk I have and I assume it's somewhat common.

I'd also like to correct Capybara's misunderstanding of what I said.

Capybara in their comment:

dronerights: actually, they/them is right anyways

Me in the comment that got me banned:

"If you use they/them...you'll never gender someone correctly."

Don't these seem like direct and polar opposite contradictions? There's no way someone who believes what I said could say what ze thinks I would say. So there's no way I could say that a TERF nongendering a binary would be "correct". I said the exact opposite.

Okay, onto the question.

I do not think the semantic distinction between nongendering and misgendering is important when we are talking about binary people.

However I do think it's important when we are talking about xenogender people like myself. When you call me they/them or it/its, you are not misgendering me. I do not consider it to be transphobia. However, it still hurts. I want to be recognised for my swarm gender in my pronouns. And it/its gets kinda close, but still misses the mark. Some days I prefer they/them just to not have to hear people attempt to gender me and get it a little bit wrong. I have neopronouns I use in private, but not in public. It's a complicated issue, but the short version is I just don't feel safe sharing them on the internet where anyone can see them and use them against me. I'd like to have a set of public neopronouns I could share, but I haven't found any that feel like me, and also feel safe to share. So for now, I want everyone to nongender me. But I would absolutely hate it if you called me he/him and misgendered me. Understand? There's a big difference, to my personal experience. The difference is a lot smaller for binary people.

But Hexbear users have ignored my comments about how I see pronouns, and they've patted themselves on the back for "correcting" each other about which nongendering pronouns to use for me. And I think the lack of empathy coupled with the self-righteousness in those instances is disgusting. True righteousness can only exist alongside empathy, and there is no empathy in those moments where my pronouns are "corrected". And I hate that.

If it said it was being a pedantic jerk and clarified, that would go a long way to earning this generous interpretation of its position that you want to give it.

Am I being a pedantic jerk to inject my own nonbinary experiences into a discussing of pronoun usage for other trans people? I dunno, maybe? I just want to be understood. And that hasn't happened. My gender experiences have just been erased. And I think that's what's important. I wouldn't mind being told my gender experiences are irrelevant to the original context in which I said them. But I think the erasure is a big deal in these discussions about who I am as a person and whether Hexbear treated me with acceptance or transphobia. So I don't think I was a pedantic jerk after I said that original comment.

Nonbinary is lots of diverse gender identities.

There you go. If you want to accuse me of erasing "the one nonbinary gender", you can just link this post. You can accuse me of erasing "Nonbinary: the gender", as long as you don't believe in "Nonbinary: the genders".

If someone told you that I'm guilty of nonbinary erasure because of the views in this post, that person is an enbyphobe who doesn't think there is more than one nonbinary gender.

@[email protected] recently made a comment mis-speciesing my partner. Good girl claims my partner is helicopterkin instead of airplanekin. Now, it should come as no surprise to anyone that Hexbear users cannot conceive of otherkin except as a transphobic joke. The attachment of Hexbear users to transphobic rhetoric is obvious, especially when they misgendered me as UAVgender because of their obsession with that copypasta.

However, the more concerning part of Good Girl's comment is where she said that supporting NPD rights is a TERF plot. Her line of thinking is truly bizarre, and I'd just like to paste it here:

But the part that raised a few red flags for me was the obsession over the word narcissistic. To me, the way DroneRights broached the topic echoed the way terfs and transphobes speak about trans people being [insert stereotype about narcissists] ...which made me mad uncomfy.

According to Good Girl, the fact that TERFs accuse trans people of being narcissists means that any attempt to advance narcissist rights is a TERF plot. And I'd just like to say, what the fuck. Good Girl hates it when trans people are accused of mental illness, and I hate it when accusations of mental illness are weaponised. So shouldn't we be on the same side? Well Good Girl and I would be on the same side, except for the fact that Good Girl hates disabled people. That's the only way to rationalise an opposition to the idea of not using ableist slurs.

Truly, if there's any other way to rationalise Good Girl's bizarre comment I would like to hear it. But this support for the practice of using my disability as a slur "because TERFs" seems to me to only make sense within a worldview of hate. I cannot imagine another way to take that comment she directed at me.

@[email protected] claims to be against harassment. In fact, she just made a comment personally harassing and attacking me and gloating about banning me, while lying about while I was banned. You can see it here:

https://lib.lgbt/comment/1997707

Ada's defamation centers on the idea that her moderation policy opposes harassment. Is this true? No.

https://lib.lgbt/post/1096816

Here you can see that 4 days ago I asked Ada to ban someone who made an account just to harass me from Blahaj. Did she take action? No, Ada removed my post and left the Blahaj user's harassing alt unbanned.

Make no mistake: Blahaj is a platform that supports and enables harassment, both from its head admin and in the users she chooses to host and support. Anti-harassment is not a practiced Blahaj policy, as much as Ada lies otherwise.

@[email protected] thinks I'm transphobic. They said it to a random person who replied to me, trying to defame me. Catradora's reason that I am transphobic is that I don't think enbies are their own gender. They are correct that I don't think enbies are our own gender. I think enbies are thousands of genders. Catradora follows a reductive, enbyphobic model of gender which denies the diversity of the nonbinary spectrum and has been used to erase all kinds of enbies and attack many of our neopronouns. This attitude is typical of Hexbear users, who hate xenogender people for breaking their gender roles for nonbinary people.