I really need some outside perspective because this is weighing on me a lot.
My friend (41M) has a 17yo diabetic cat. Since last Wednesday (so about a week now), the cat has been peeing blood. He’s also started isolating himself and doesn’t seem well.
For context, this cat is diabetic but his glucose hasn’t been checked in about 6 months. When I last saw him, he was drinking a lot, eating dry food freely, and overweight.
My friend did go to the vet last Friday, and the vet suggested doing blood tests, thyroid check, urine sample, etc. But my friend refused the blood tests, saying it felt like they were trying to take all of his money, and only agreed to do a urine sample at home. He hasn’t managed to collect one yet and is currently waiting for special litter to arrive to help with that.
In the meantime, he’s now decided to start antibiotics without a confirmed diagnosis because “it’s probably cystitis anyway.”
He’s also told me that he “knows his cat” and that because he’s not vocalizing or showing obvious signs of pain, he should be fine.
More generally, he’s said he wants to handle this on his own and doesn’t want advice, and even said he wants to manage it “his way, whether it’s right or wrong.”
I tried to express concern and suggest that he should do proper tests (especially blood tests given the age and diabetes), but he felt judged and told me he just wanted support, not advice, and has now asked me to leave him alone.
I feel really distressed because it’s been a week with blood in his urine and the cat now seems to be withdrawing. I’ve known him since he was a kitten and have a bond with him - not as close as with my own pet, but I still feel bad for him. I also feel like this could get worse quickly, and it’s stressing me out a lot.
At the same time, I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is genuinely concerning, especially since my friend gets defensive when I try to share my perspective or suggest anything.
Am I right to be worried about this level of care and delay? What would you do in this situation?