And here I am trying to convince my sales team that supporting a workflow where users run our app with sudo is a bad idea.

What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone like no scars or anything just flat skin and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night and several days later you find out that your entire life he had been sneaking in your room while you slept and sucking on your chest to make two gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be because you were born without them not for any sexual reason just so you would fit in...

I like this joke format of answering a question with seemingly irrelevant facts that still answer the question. Hit me with some more.

SQLite was literally invented within the US military.

Seems like a perfectly cromulent English sentence to me.

It's the Lagrangian of the standard model of particle physics

This is so perfect. Like after all these years someone decided to overanalyze Goldilocks.

Say what you want about DI frameworks, but if I have to remove another fucking global variable so I can write a test, I'm going to cut a bitch.

Call me basic, but I have no shortage of new music from Spotify and YouTube. Spotify recommendations plus shared playlists from friends. There are a handful of YT channels that host pretty consistent quality musicians, like NPR Tiny Desk, KEXP, Colors Studios, Zildjian Live.

Sure! Here's a 100PB thumb drive.

We think we're Ricks but we're actually Jerrys.

I have a feeling you are misunderstanding what is meant by "theorems for free" here. For example, one theorem that is proven by all safe Rust programs is that they don't have data races. That should always be a requirement for functional software. This is a more pragmatic type of automatic theorem proving that doesn't require a direct proof from the code author. The compiler does the proof for you. Otherwise the theorem would not be "free" as stated in OP.