Just wanted to let you know - I am currently examining my anxiety and exhaustion generating work and study habits hard (and why they are so easy patterns to slip into), and your post helped me answer a question I had and couldn't quite grasp.

Because for me, I generate The Dread© by imagining the disappointment of my professors, my boss, or parents, or whoever gave me the task or has a stake, if I don't do it in time. Which also means that I can't really do stuff for myself unless I imagine my therapist being disappointed or something. Which leads to weird and unusual attachments to people who have no idea of their significance, and a LOT of social anxiety.

But knowing the functionality of this pattern should be quite helpful in gently disengaging from it 🙂 So thanks!

You speak about Cheddar doing stuff with Gouda you have denied yourself doing with Swiss for Gouda's sake, and it's making you vengefully jealous.

~~My question is - did Cheddar explicitly ask these sacrifices of you, or did you just assume that it would be the right thing to do?~~ edit: nevermind, gotta read better...

I feel like both of you handled some things suboptimally, but this particular aspect sounds like you've been doing this to yourself by assuming instead of communicating.

Generally I don't really understand this situation. Jealousy is not something that just happens to someone and has to be avoided. Jealousy is the flashing warning signal that something is not right (like a relationship that is unstable, or a need that isn't met), and the starting point of a conversation, not the end of it. But there doesn't seem to be a conversation around that in your story. Why not?

Da slrpnk.net und feddit.org (im Moment und ohne absehbares Ende) förderiert sind, könnten User auf beiden (und allen anderen förderierten) Instanzen die community sehen, abonnieren und nutzen, egal auf welcher von beidem sie registriert sind. Reichweitenmäßig macht das also nicht so viel - die Existenz bewerben müsste man so oder so. Neue communities aufzuziehen ist wohl nicht ganz trivial.

Und ja, ich glaube, um eine community auf einer Instanz zu erstellen und zu moderieren muss man auf dieser Instanz User sein - insofern würde sich für dich slrpnk eher anbieten. Allerdings ist es auch nicht verboten, mehrere Accounts auf verschiedenen Instanzen zu haben...

Auf slrpnk könntest du außerdem den Vorteil haben, dass schon einige geneigte deutsche User hierher migriert sind, nachdem die Instanz feddit.de untergegangen ist (und bevor feddit.org auftauchte), also größere Chance auf Interessenten.

Ich finde die Idee gut, bin aber ein notorischer lurker und maximal mal Kommentator, weiß also nicht, ob ich persönlich hilfreich wäre. 😅

Würdest du hier auf der SLRPNK-Instanz eine de-community errichten wollen, quasi als deutschsprachiger Anlaufpunkt, oder z.B. auf feddit.org eine solarpunk-community als "Außenposten" im deutschsprachigen Lemmy?

(Ich gehe mal davon aus, dass du keine ganze Instanz hosten möchtest, das wirkt wie overkill)

My household is on a mission to make "websing" the word, as short for web searching. "I'll have to webs that!" is just really funny to us... and works in German, too! "Das sollten wir mal websen."

it's not caught on yet outside, but we remain hopeful.

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, I probably would've been busy for a couple of hours trying to formulate my fairly similar take!

Maybe to add another aspect for - I think that the sheer ability of humans to have religious experiences in all denominations, which are often described as feelings of connectedness, does not necessarily mean that there is a higher being or reality "out there" that is being connected to in those moments.

But it does mean that our brains have religious experience as an in-built function (which, as you described, has been needlessly enshrined in religious institutions), which might mean that being able to have these experiences is an important part of being able to survive, or maybe even to thrive, as a human being, which also means as a community.