Yes, that's totally the only reason I'm doing it 😁

Thank you! I was fervently hoping that the one comment on this says exactly what you said, so I wouldn't have to...

Just wanted to let you know - I am currently examining my anxiety and exhaustion generating work and study habits hard (and why they are so easy patterns to slip into), and your post helped me answer a question I had and couldn't quite grasp.

Because for me, I generate The Dread© by imagining the disappointment of my professors, my boss, or parents, or whoever gave me the task or has a stake, if I don't do it in time. Which also means that I can't really do stuff for myself unless I imagine my therapist being disappointed or something. Which leads to weird and unusual attachments to people who have no idea of their significance, and a LOT of social anxiety.

But knowing the functionality of this pattern should be quite helpful in gently disengaging from it 🙂 So thanks!

You speak about Cheddar doing stuff with Gouda you have denied yourself doing with Swiss for Gouda's sake, and it's making you vengefully jealous.

~~My question is - did Cheddar explicitly ask these sacrifices of you, or did you just assume that it would be the right thing to do?~~ edit: nevermind, gotta read better...

I feel like both of you handled some things suboptimally, but this particular aspect sounds like you've been doing this to yourself by assuming instead of communicating.

Generally I don't really understand this situation. Jealousy is not something that just happens to someone and has to be avoided. Jealousy is the flashing warning signal that something is not right (like a relationship that is unstable, or a need that isn't met), and the starting point of a conversation, not the end of it. But there doesn't seem to be a conversation around that in your story. Why not?

Würdest du hier auf der SLRPNK-Instanz eine de-community errichten wollen, quasi als deutschsprachiger Anlaufpunkt, oder z.B. auf feddit.org eine solarpunk-community als "Außenposten" im deutschsprachigen Lemmy?

(Ich gehe mal davon aus, dass du keine ganze Instanz hosten möchtest, das wirkt wie overkill)

Not for me, I literally don't notice it unless I know it's happening right now and "listen" for it.

But I've been told by other patients that they feel it as light-headedness or dizziness, may feel their heart pounding or like they can't breath, or like the heart/body skips a step, and if the arrhythmia exacerbates to fibrillation, people lose consciousness very quickly (and may or may not die if untreated). Maybe that translates to your experience, but I don't know. Generally it's described more as a continuous feeling for some time, from a couple of seconds up to hours. But it varies a lot. ECG monitoring helps there.

But my specific arrhythmia were also found quite a long time ago, by chance during a standard exam for sports competition fitness as a child. So for pretty much my whole life I've been barred from stimulant and basically psychopharmaceutical medication of any kind, since pretty much all of them can cause or exacerbate heart conditions.

Seeing as I totally don't notice episodes, a scenario where someone didn't go to that exam and unsuspectingly walks around with that same or similar heart condition completely untreated, and kills themself by self-medicating and slipping into fibrillation is totally possible.

That said, it's also not a very wide-spread condition, just a rare possibility. Still, please continue to advocate for yourself to have that checked out!

(Edited for an attempt at brevity)

My household is on a mission to make "websing" the word, as short for web searching. "I'll have to webs that!" is just really funny to us... and works in German, too! "Das sollten wir mal websen."

it's not caught on yet outside, but we remain hopeful.

I process ideas and concepts mainly visually, in forms, colors and movement entwining (the movement especially is the most important!).

Verbal thoughts occur, but they are more of a chorus, or chord, rather than one voice - there is always several aspects sounding out together, and it can be hard to pick the dominant one to verbalize for communication.

There are thoughts which have already been translated to words before and I can communicate then easily, but also deeper areas or newly occuring "movements" which are still only visual, and I have to put in a lot of work to put them into words.

There's more, but this is as far as I have pre-verbalized...

Only this - I once read a book that talked about minds as a rainforest, brimming with life and built in layers and impossible to fully grasp at once. I think that metaphor works pretty well.

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, I probably would've been busy for a couple of hours trying to formulate my fairly similar take!

Maybe to add another aspect for - I think that the sheer ability of humans to have religious experiences in all denominations, which are often described as feelings of connectedness, does not necessarily mean that there is a higher being or reality "out there" that is being connected to in those moments.

But it does mean that our brains have religious experience as an in-built function (which, as you described, has been needlessly enshrined in religious institutions), which might mean that being able to have these experiences is an important part of being able to survive, or maybe even to thrive, as a human being, which also means as a community.