39
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Im male born, but i dont feel particularly "male" so to speak: currently im non-binary bc i dont feel i belong to gender categories. Its just like im mentally in a gender-limbo and i think ive been in it my whole life, but its not concrete, as in sometimes i wish i was a girl (this happened also when i was a kid) but at the same time i feel like the categories of binary gender arent fit for me. Im just confused as in what i am. From the outside i think im generally seen as male but inside it's kinda like i don't care but i don't like to be in the gender binary but i wish i was more "girly". Can anyone relate?

24
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

i cant wrap my head around it

18
im back (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

hello, funny image unrelated

20
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

12TET (12 tone equal temprament) is a system which divides the octave (eg. C3-C4) in 12 equal parts and it's the system used on many instruments, especially in western music. Maybe I'm getting bored of it bc of the fact that I've probably heard every possible combination of notes in this system. The thing i hate about it is how limiting it is, because in between even a semitone there's a world of possibilities and i wanna study and use microtones. The thing is guitars are caged in a 12 tone system, as many western instruments are. My point? I WANT A FRETLESS GUITAR/INSTRUMENT I WANNA DISCOVER MICROTONAL CHORD CHANGES bit of a rant

18
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

i think that'd be cool

68
i hate my life (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

yesterday i went to a concert of a friend of mine, then with some friends we went to his house for an afterparty. I had probably one of the most fun nights in my life (also bc we were all kinda ND). Then I went home, and all of it came crashing down: i was back in the place where i feel unwelcome, where im forced to live with my parents, who i came to hate throughout my life bc of how they give conditional love, have had many outbursts against me, fueled my meltdowns and punished me for them. Some days ago they found some weed in my room and my mom literally started talking to me as if i wasnt human, calling me a junkie and stuff. They never listen to me, when i talk about my feelings they always manage to either give useless advice or turn it personal and start a fight. For instance I've completely lost interest in uni bc they kept pushing me on the topic when i had major difficulties with it, and I'm considering dropping out bc i can't take it anymore. I can't move out bc I'm broke, if i don't finish uni I'll never be able to sustain myself outside of this fascist shithole called Italy, and i can't handle a job, let alone with uni. I feel trapped, and all i want to do is hibernate myself and forget about this world. I feel like I'm a mistake on this planet

13
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

i want to make alterations to a default seed minecraft world on a large scale (eliminating land, extend rivers, make mountain ranges, ecc...) for a mc world I've been working on for the last few years. In short, i want to make it a big island with mountains, valleys from an already generated world. Is there any mod or program that could make something like this? (i already have world edit but it's not enough for what i have in mind)

33
update (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I didnt get hospitalized, though I saw my psychiatrist. She reccomended a therapy catered to my needs as a neurodivergent person (probably with the same who diagnosed me, hopefully). I cant say im happy but a little relieved by not having to be hospitalized

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

just the way i was made feel throughout my life

39
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

im fed up with everything. I decided to hospitalize myself bc i cant take it no more, im extremely exhausted from life. Im a burden to everyone, i deserve no other outcome

17
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

is there anyone particularly familiar with minecraft mods or map editing softwares. Im trying to customize a seed generated map to be an island and to modify certain details. Feel free to dm me as this post is not very in-theme with the community but i couldnt find a specific community for that which im looking for. Thanks in advance

19
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

lately i've noticed i don't have the energy to go to uni, bc everytime i do i have to go through 30 minutes of traffic made up of literal idiots who are just unable to not make the road more dangerous (not putting on turning lights when switching lanes, not looking at their rear view mirrors, ecc...) and i can't really avoid it since my uni is in the dead center of the city. Then when I get there i just can't follow the lectures bc i get distracted constantly and then traffic again but even worse bc i leave at rush hour (my classes are from 4PM to 6PM). I'm really tired of having to go there bc my classes are very late in the day and they are all at the same time, and when I get home I'm just totally beat. The worst part is, i still live with my parents and they expect me to go every single time and if i don't it's gonna be a screamfest about how worthless i am and sometimes even threatening to stop funding my studies. These are the same people that basically accosted my autism and adhd to "being just lazy/just having fun breaking their balls" even when I'm going through a meltdown. I don't have the means to move out, I'm scared of how I'd handle a job (since I'm not diagnosed by the state i don't have access to accomodations) and can't even sustain myself with a part time job in this country, bc if i had to do 40 hours a week with uni I'd simply go nuts. Over the last few months I've been feeling trapped without any motivation to keep going to uni and i have no one to turn to, no one that'll make my parents understand that I'm having a hard time and that I need space. Sometimes i ask myself why does it have to be so hard.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

big yes from me

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

well first i identified it myself at twelve, but was too scared to find out i actually was autistic so i repressed it. Didn't even think about it up until the last months of high school, where a few friends just straight up asked "are you on the spectrum?" and one in particular, my best friend, also thought i was autistic. At one time, after one of the most distressing periods of my life also my brother said he thought i had autism. That's when i decided to get to the bottom of it and see if i had it (and yes i did, also ADHD)

10
my song (on.soundcloud.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

people were curious about my musical project, so here you have it. I hope you like it :)

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

but then im afraid of coming off as annoying or even creepy. I dont want to break her barriers just bc i want to talk to her, maybe she needs some time. I wrote her and she didnt even respond

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

letting people share autismspeaks funded articles without repercussion, not only is it against the rules but also damages autistic people, and i couldn't let that slide

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

yeah also no entitled mods here so that's a plus

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

i don't like the idea of a community that big setting a precedent like this. Then ofc I'm staying here bc it's much better, but i feel like this is a big problem, bc ppl are more prone to flock to that cesspool and thus getting exposed to autismspeaks propaganda and redditors. Im gonna take my benzos bc I'm really agitated about this

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

there's a conlang sub? cool! (also i developed it in a few months by sounding it out then i wrote this in my notes)

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

the thing is I'm not even self diagnosed yet they went for the jugular (i dunno if it'll make sense in english) assuming i was

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

instrumental music is so good. Bands like Chon (math rock/math metal) or casiopea (80s j-fusion) are among my favorites. If you like post-rock theres an italian band called massimo volume (means maximum volume) though they have lyrics so i don't know if you'd like ir

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

cool! it's always nice to remember that you're not an alien and you're not alone and there are people you can relate to

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

the levels in the autism spectrum indicate the amount of support needed by an autistic person. High functioning autism is basically level 1 so low supports needs, level 2 is substantial supports need and 3 is high supports need. Labels like Aspergers or high-functioning are clinically irrelevant today, as in the DSM-5 all the different types of autism were joined into one single diagnosis, and that is autism spectrum disorder, hence the levels

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madamarie

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