loopy

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 year ago (21 children)

Such a valid point; success should not be measured only in dollars. I began explaining the basics of the Fediverse with some of my friends and the first question they asked was, “How do people even make money on there then?” It’s a bit disheartening to see how money-driven things are for some people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It’s strange, I downloaded a gif to my photo and selected it as an image for a Memmy post. The post worked and was upvoted so others must see it. But the actual gif is not visible on Memmy. The gif does play on a mobile browser though.

I want to try posting a direct link to a gif and see what it looks like. Can you see the gif below?

Nope

It looks like you need to use the format:

![label](directlink.gif) such as: ![Nope](https://i.imgur.com/lov37J1.gif)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I don’t think it’s selfish at all. But yeah maybe make the suggestion and let him decide, or ask him if it’s okay for you to update them about his situation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hope he gets to that point soon. He is fortunate to have you in his life. That normalcy of talking to someone close can be a huge difference.

Personally I would not set up an email for him unless you ask him first or he asks you. It would be with good intentions, but I think supporting people with addiction includes helping them do their responsibilities, not do it for them, otherwise it can be enabling.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

That instability can be really stressful. I can relate so much when you said you were proud and hopeful for him, and then something happens. That anxiety of praying nothing goes wrong because it’s happened too many times. I’m so glad he is in a good facility though; that is not always possible for people.

It sounds like you are already starting this but I highly encourage you to do frequent therapy sessions. That stress can really weigh on a person. Even being around those situations can cause secondary trauma that need support to process.

Do what is best for your situation, but I think having a more direct relationship is better. From the experience with my mom, the filtering is usually only in her best interest, not mine. You and your sibling are allowed to have your own adult relationship.

I think your post card idea is so cool. Keep us updated on how it goes. Keep your good supports close. And take time off or drop responsibilities as you need to. I learned the hard way that those heavy life stressors require a lot of extra time throughout the day, and keeping responsibilities to a minimum helps.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

So far it seems that the admins will make posts when they’re considering new ones. I think the need for committed moderators may be the challenge for adding new ones. You could always find a community on a different Lemmy instance or create a community on an instance that has that enabled.

 

doctors say it’s terminal

 

(a mushroom!)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I agree, I would rather see the community on the left with the instance in smaller/non-bold text below it, and user to the right without the instance of the user until you click the post.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had an ex-gf that would sit down for showers when possible, and sometimes fall asleep lol

 

The social benefits are great and I heard the flag is a big plus

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

My wife says I’m cheap, but idk. I’m not buying it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Wow, that’s a tough hand to be dealt; I’m really sorry about your cousin. I’m glad you could be there for him in those ways. Many people have little or no support.

And you hit a couple of really good points with giving freedom without enabling. That’s wayyyy more easier said than done and takes constant awareness. And not feeling responsible for their actions. I’m glad that you were able to take your experience from your friend and apply that, because that becomes a whole rabbit hole of “well if I had just done something different.”

Thank you for sharing that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you. The acknowledgment of a random internet stranger oddly feels more comforting than from people I know haha. It’s a bummer that addiction is still a relatively taboo subject for people to talk about in day-to-day conversations. That’s why I’m a bit hopeful the anonymity online will encourage others to share.

 

An online support group for people to share experiences and resources, and give support to one another through the many challenges of having a friend/family member struggling with addiction.

[email protected]

 

An online support group for people to share experiences and resources, and give support to one another through the many challenges of having a friend/family member struggling with addiction.

[email protected]

Just thought I’d share an avenue for Beehaw members that may be interested. Please direct me to a different place to post if this would be better suited elsewhere.

 

An online support group for people to share experiences and resources, and give support to one another through the many challenges of having a friend/family member struggling with addiction.

[email protected]

12
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Hi everyone, my name is loopy and I created this lemmy community to make a space for people to share and support each other through the challenges of having a friend or family member struggling with addiction. As the sidebar says, this is not to replace therapy; think of it like an online support group.

I’ll get the ball rolling a little bit by sharing that my BIL has been struggling with addiction. First to opioids, then to his Adderall prescription. The mood swings are an understatement. I get glimpses of sobriety but then the cycles continue. It honestly gets pretty exhausting to keep trying to have empathy only to be let down again.

My wife and my focus lately has been setting boundaries. He knows how to manipulate my wife, so I said that we all need to be present when deciding something (eg if he is staying at our house for the weekend). It feels uncomfortable for her, but it has been minimizing the stress. I have learned the valuable lesson of keeping yourself safe and well first. This is basically not possible for my wife to set this boundary with him, so my role has been a lot of reassurance and being consistent.

Another essential lesson we have discovered is to distinctly define roles. We are not therapists and cannot be a detox center. We have literally tried because he talked us into it.

The last recent thing we concluded is that the whole process has to be their decision. No matter how badly we want for him to succeed and how many ways we facilitate that success, if he doesn’t want to do it, he will find any excuse not to follow through. Actions are the only way to measure progress (words and promises aren’t worth much), and he must follow through first.

We love him and truly wish for him to thrive in life. It is heartbreaking to see the lows, but as long as we don’t compromise on our own well-being, we will continue supporting him on his journey to recovery.

How have you all managed? How has addiction affected your life? Personally, I would love nothing more than to see some success stories to encourage others, but I know those are sometimes rare.

 

created with MidJourney by VorgBardo

 

created with MidJourney by VorgBardo

 

Concept art from the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender movie

 

Artist unknown. From Dreamer on Tumblr

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