I don't have any additional advice to offer. There are lots of good comments already for that. But I did want to share that I also was afraid of taking meds for a long time because I'd heard horror stories (mostly on TV/in movies) of the meds making you almost catatonic, and that wasn't how I wanted to live my life. However, I've been taking anti-anxiety meds for over 10 years now, and I can confidently say that they are a huge help. I've changed doses several times, including recently adding an "as needed" med for times I know my stress/anxiety levels will rise. I recommend working with your doctor to figure out the best med/med combo for you, but for me personally, I've found a lot of success with Sertraline (generic Zoloft), although it does take about a month for dose changes to take effect, and Buspirone (generic Buspar) for my "as needed" extra.
Also, know that you are not alone, from one internet stranger to another.
As an ally, I can't offer much in words of wisdom, but I am always happy to provide a hug over the internet. So, from one internet stranger to another, I hear you, and I'm here for you.
Also, I can confirm that crying can definitely feel like a cheat code sometimes. ๐