Can confirm, I've got an ecology degree and that line would work on me 100%.

Probably cilantro.

Because cats are a godawful menace to local small vertebrate populations.

I wonder if they're banking on wireless chips lasting longer than physical ports. Though making them wireless also means batteries and charging ports, two parts notorious for failing.

A bunch of randos on the 'net won't be able to tell you any better than she can. If she says she's fine reaffirm your friendship and tell her you're there if she needs to talk and otherwise carry on. Not much else you can do without jeopardizing the friendship.

For work I use a database written in COBOL. Reports are simultaneously running and frozen until I either get the report results or sufficient time has passed that I'm certain the system has crashed.

Where the hell are you finding an 8.5% ROI in this economy??

If we're going to play that game, puffins are technically auks since they're also in the same family.

Also where I'm from we call those razorbills.

No, I'm not fun at parties.

Had a cousin eat some spooky bread and found out the hard way what going cold turkey off her depression meds felt like. It was a rough couple days to get her back to baseline.

A coworker set the break room on fire by microwaving her lunch for 30 minutes instead of three. No idea how you forget your lunch is in the microwave, let alone for half an hour, but hey I got to go home early.

Congrats on being one of today's lucky 10,000!

The only animal in the US with a pocket and they shove the coins down its throat? Oof.