I work in a place that deals primarily with aluminum extrusion and sheeting.

About a month ago one of the guys at lunch was saying something about how he doesn't want his ex-wife to get his kids vaccinated because "all the aluminum and mercury is gonna make them r*****d"

I told him to take a closer look at his tuna sandwich because he definitely has shed aluminum dust onto his food unless he takes his jacket off and shakes his hair out, and he should probably wear a mask because that faint glitter in the air isn't fairy dust. Also look up mercury content in tuna.

The HR guy came out because apparently I "called a coworker a slur for autistic people" when he connected the dots that "if I believe those things make one autistic then they must be calling me autistic since I inhale and ingest aluminum all day at work and mercury is in my food" and felt that I was insulting him by informing him of the things he should already know.

(apologies if this was a little incoherent, I just woke up)

🤮 What a fucking terrible day for eyes.

Still every day I hear "it's not all black and white we can't act rashly" shut the fuck up cletus you're just a brain-dead tongue happily licking the shit off MAGAs boot.

I read it as "to break off" not "to temporarily interrupt"

Whaaaaat? Are they suggesting the United States would ever do anything to harm people? People who have done nothing to deserve it, and certainly not to the united states?

And then the US lied about it????

Noooooooooo, that could never happen... repeatedly... throuought our entire history....

Lol nvidia CEO couldn't do my job for an hour.

I am absolutely confident that I could do his job for an hour.

The empty chair in his office does his job just as easily, too.

You can tell me all about the meetings and deals they have to worry about but ultimately, by the time a company gets that large, it could run itself without a c-suite for quite some time.

somewhere, a criminal: Oh man, you mean all I have to do is take my license plate off, dress like a tacticool office worker, put on a mask and I'm just allowed to kidnap people??? SCORE!!!

As an American who remembers 2016-2020.....

NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK

If it hasn't met another living creature in 14,000 years, can it really say it's the baddest thing around?

Sure it says it could kick my ass, but if it's so confident why doesn't it come up here and prove it? Bitch ass horror from the deep...

I would be going to prison or dead shortly after discovering that cops killed my dogs.

I care more about my dogs than I do about the vast majority of humans. And I care about humans way more than cops.

and what’s with the bruised legs?

Tldr: inattentiveness, bumping into tons of stuff, and only remembering it when you look at the bruise or someone reminds you.

An explanation that's meant to be humorous because it happens to me and my wife all the time:

"Oh my god, where did THIS bruise come from?"

earlier that day

bump "ow, how did I hit the coffee table..."

bump "fuck that hurt, I swear the counter was another 6 inches over"

smash "FUCK the freezer door closes too quickly!"

has to be reminded of these events to remember tham

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

And cops are the biggest tools out there.

"The Ronald Reagan Abortion Clinic for Tolerance and Equality"