OceanSoap

Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I'm struggling to cope. What are the ways you've dealt with heartbreak in the past?

Any animal.

Mihon was working for the first few weeks, but now every time I try and open a manga in the app it says "no pages found" I've been dl-ing the updates and even uninstalled and reinstalled, but the error persists. Any ideas?

The alternator on my car went kaput. Nowhere in my area would do the job for less than $800-something, and most places were quoting $900-$1k.

So I looked up how-tos on YouTube and it looked like something I, a woman with zero experience or knowledge of working on cars, could do.

I got a remanufactured alternator for $180 and got to work following the tutorials I'd found.

It certainly did not go smoothly, but I managed it. It took me 6 hours to get the alternator out, mainly because every goddamn bolt holding the parts in place were basically cemented in. I had to use my foot to stomp one loose because I didn't have the strength in my arms.

Today I spent another 4 hours trying to put in the new one and all the parts back in place. And I did it!!

Except for the power steering belt. That fucker would not go into place, and trying to force the belt tensioner back took every ounce of strength I could muster.

All that work. All that time and effort and THE VERY LAST STEP to get my car up and running defeated me today. I had to get a task rabbit guy. He's coming tomorrow to get my belt back on.

On one hand I feel proud that I made it this far. On the other I feel like a complete failure because it turns out I couldn't complete the task myself.

Anyway, how was your weekend?

It's just wild that we remove sexual organs -which is irreversible- from those who aren't sexually mature yet, rather than relying on therapeutics that are reversible until they're of age. Especially since so many trans youth also suffer from other mental heath issues. Those issues at least should be looked into and treated prior to moving forward with organ removal.

One of the good things about lemmy is that I'm positive my friend won't find this post.

Hey lemmy. My best friend and I have been close since we met back in high school, circa 2002. We lived a few blocks away from each other, kept in touch across the country during college, and even lived together for a few years after college. We've traveled overseas together, been through many break ups together. She was a solid rock for me when my fiance and I had a traumatic split 4 years ago.

She got married legally two years ago, and their wedding is finally happening this upcoming spring. I've been so excited along with her. We've talked our whole friendship about being there for all the fun stuff for our weddings, and I've been doing all the maid-of-honor stuff since she asked me to be hers.

She was initially depressed about dress shopping since she assumed no one would be able to go, including her mother, who has really bad travel/directional anxiety. We're all in different states.

I asked her why she would even think that I wouldn't fly out to go dress shopping with her, since we've been talking about it for ages, and I love clothing shopping! She said she thought I'd be too strapped for cash, but I'd been saving up for her wedding stuff, so it's not an issue. We set the date for November and a she invited another long-distance friend from high school and I've been looking at tickets to get out there.

Anyway, I was planning to reach out to her mom and fly in to her state to fly with her to my friends state so she wouldn't have to worry about making her way there with all her anxiety, but today I got a message from my friend. Her mom and stepdad are visiting her area this weekend for an extended family member's birthday, and she and her mom decided they would "pre-look" at wedding dresses today, "just to get an idea of whats out there" and wanted to know if I'd feel left out if they did that.

My heart sunk when I got the text, because I knew that her mom probably was trying to combine dress shopping for this trip so she wouldn't have to take another trip out again so soon. I messaged back saying no I wouldn't feel left out, but did that mean dress shopping in November was canceled? She said no, that it was still on. I was a bit relieved, but still worried. I gave the okay, because of course I can't say no, that would be supper immature and inappropriate.

Of course, she found a dress she wanted, and I was left out of the whole experience. She video called me at one point for a very short while, and sent me photos, and I tried my best to be happy and give good advice and opinions, but it's not the same, and I wasn't part of most of it. (She didn't go for any of my advice, but I'm not hurt about that - video and photo representation isn't the same, and my advice might have been totally off from what I would have said in person.)

Anyway, here's the thing: this isn't my wedding. My feelings don't matter. I realize this in my rational mind, but I'm still incredibly hurt. I definitely wanted to be there for these types of moments for her wedding.

I pretended not to be hurt though, because I really don't want to stress her out in any way when it comes to her wedding. I don't want in any way to be someone she looks back on and remembers as a source of stress or drama during this event. I realize that her mother brought up the idea and pressured her to do so because of her own travel anxiety, and I'm not mad at my friend for jumping at the chance to look at dresses with her mom when she could - just in case her mom pulls out of organized plans last-minute. I'm incredibly close to my mom, so I'd definitely want her there when it's my turn. I get it.

Still, I'm hurt. I just don't know of I should tell her so, or if I should keep pretending I'm okay. What's done is done, she has her dress. Is there any point in bringing up my feelings at all? Or should I just swallow it all up and hope I work through the hurt privately somehow? I don't like hiding my feelings and lying to her, but I feel like telling her would do more harm than good.

If you've gotten this far, I appreciate it.