I feel you. It's soul-draining to work as a pleb grinding away and under the geara of capitalism. My advice is to find your passion, what makes you tick. For me it was returning back to nature, reading and getting creative. Alcohol has a tendecy to get in the way of those pursuits, at least it did for me.
I would try and change up your routine (it's not easy) to find something that really makes you happy. It wont necessarily happen overnight but when you find a genuine love than it'll be worth the effort you put in in spades. I wish you the best and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone. We're here for you comrade <3
Great job! A year is big news. I get you on the ups and downs of self-esteem. Sometimes life just throws you curveball after curveball and it gets tough not to get down on yourself. Keep swinging for the fences, all we can do. I pray your job earch bears plentiful fruit soon <3