Gatorade tastes so shit it honestly belongs in waste water.

This. It's kinda on me though because I specifically mentioned bidets and shower bidets as the only solutions. I just took 5 minutes to type a stupid post without clearly thinking about the nuances of a topic as complicated as butt washing.

sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed

That's why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn't miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there's no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there's still TP left for people that really want it.

This post seems to ignore that not everyone has similar plumbing

Yeah that's bad on my part this post is more about wiping after shitting than TP itself but your point is valid.

This comment is genius I will write this on my bum gun.

Does it really require permission from your landlord? It's just a piece of plastic that goes between your toilet seat and the toilet bowl. It takes like 5 minutes to install.

Even if you can clean a bidet is still better cause you wouldn't have to pay a premium just to avoid the single-ply ones that fall apart instantly. I haven't run the numbers but imagine all the beanis you can buy with all that TP money saved over your lifetime.

No not really. I do float once in a while but it's nothing serious. They would laugh me out of the wizard function if i went there like this. Also i don't get along with the cabbage wizard it would be awkward.

Small lizards. They are very cute.

they did what to him?

genuinely not bait it's just that i've been lurking for a month and i felt the need to post.

despite my name i have no strong feelings towards cabbages sorry for baiting you.