First, I am sorry that this situation is happening to you. You are not overreacting, you are just trying to survive. It saddens me to hear this. No one should ever live like that.

Second, I agree with the other people in the comments. Get connected with a mental health professional. if you are still going to college, see if your school has any counseling services; they can help you handle the situation a bit better. They tend to focus more on general student academic troubles, but having some form of support is better than none. Some other forms of online support you can use is the Mental Health forum: https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/

People with mental health struggles post their troubles here to get support and advice. Maybe you can get some more help there. It's a forum specifically for people dealing with depression, anxiety, abuse, etc.; an online support group (sort of). Look up therapists in your area. Yeah, their services aren't free outside school, but you need all the support. I think the mental health support group called 7 cups has therapists.

Third, I think making an escape plan as you try to push through is the best way to go about this. You will have to endure this period for some time until you build up support and savings. I am very sorry. The household you're living in is not safe. You can use this as motivation to find your own place to live which means finding a job so you can get out. It's gonna be a difficult journey.

I have lived in a household where I had to survive too. I sympathize with you. Good luck.

Designing and creating fantasy worlds, characters, props, and creatures with drawing/painting/digital art (aka concept art and illustration). Or just making art in general. It's fun to be imaginative, to create things, and to tell stories.

Looking at other people's art and being immersed in video games is a lot of fun for me because it takes me out of reality for awhile. I enjoy pretending to be a character in Cyberpunk 2077, for example, whenever I look at the pre-production work the artists did.

Cleaning floors, bathroom, sinks, etc. /organizing stuff in my house is also fun to me because I find it meditative. I like my environment neat and tidy to do my other hobbies. Or Im just getting old that I like doing chores (when no one is telling me to do it).

I tend to look for wisdom in films/shows the most. Here are some of my fav quotes.

1. "Everybody needs help sometimes, Peter. Even Spider-Man"- MJ (Spiderman 3)

2. "I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble. And finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want most—even our dreams." - Aunt May (Spiderman 2)

3. "You gotta let go of that stuff from the past, 'cause it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now"- Po (Kung Fu Panda 2)

A lot of indie animation, game studios, and independent artists are anti-AI.

Games: https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/13eq9di/the_most_detailed_database_of_indiegame/

Many gamers on Youtube play Indie games too, tho you'd have to look for them as they play AAA games as well: https://www.youtube.com/@markiplier https://www.youtube.com/@jacksepticeye https://www.youtube.com/@theRadBrad

Animation: https://indie.fandom.com/wiki/List_Of_Indie_Animated_Shows

https://www.reddit.com/r/animationcareer/comments/1ji9gbn/are_there_indie_studios_still_in_existence_that/

The movie Flow is an indie film that blew up in the box office because the director proved to people that it's possible to make a movie using a non-industry standard 3D modeling software (Blender).

Check this artist out: https://www.meridiangrayculpepper.com/directing

Comics: https://explodikid.com/covenant

Check out (writer) Juan Díaz Canales and (illustrator) Juanjo Guarnido's works. They made the comic Blacksad. https://readallcomics.com/blacksad-vol-1-somewhere-withing-the-shadows/

WLOP's paintings and comics might be your taste. His art may look like AI, but it's not. He just that good with drawing/painting: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/ghostblade/list?title_no=12229

It would have a Windows 2000 monitor with a Dell PC on a desk. A Nintendo DS next to it with a box full of games like Sonic the Hedgehog, Cooking Mama, and Nintendo Dogs. A flip phone, an ipod, and a CD player would be on the desk, too. Teck Decks and Legos would be scattered across the floor.

VCR on the TV stand with box full of CDs--store bought, rented from Netflix (back when they used mail out movies in CDs), and self- burned/pirated CDs. (Good) Disney and DreamWorks movies would definitely be in there (back when animation didn't suck) like Shrek, Monsters Inc., Monsters vs. Aliens, and Kung Fu Panda. Spider-man 1, 2, and 3 (Tobey's version of Spider-man), SpongeBob (seasons 1-3), and Harry Potter were my childhood.

Food/drinks: McDonald's fries, Otterpops, go-gurt yogurt, Rice Krispies cereal, Pops cereal, soda were my snacks. I realized how unhealthy these are as an adult and kid me did not care about health.

Decor: Lava lamps, pillow pets, and a lot of "as seen in TV" products like the fushigi ball, chia pet, shamwow, and the slap chop would be place around the room.

Fashion: colorful hair extensions, those dresses that are short in the front but long in the back, chunky jewelry, mustache print t shirts, Bobby Jack monkey t shirts Trends in fashion: Silly Bandz, Loom Bands, duct tape wallets, snap back hats.

music that would be playing: Dynamite by Taio Cruz, like a G6, Katy Perry, Adele, sad Bruno Mars songs, Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO, Gangnam style by PSY, Lady Gaga, Beyonce-- basically every 2010s club, party songs with a lot of autotune.

My polaroid photo album because it has pictures of people, pets, lived experiences that made me happy when I was struggling with life.

And my Lord of the Rings Medal that I received when completing a work-out challenge from a company called The Conqueror Challenge. I was going through a breakup and was dealing with depression that time; depression made me rot in bed all day with no motivation to do anything. But I still needed to get my body moving, so I paid the company $50 to help me motivate me to work out because I wanted the medal; it has a really nice design and I'm a LOTR fan. Now, I view the medal as resilience.

Being annoyed by my friends who can't put their phones down when I'm trying to talk to them because they are doomscrolling on TikTok. Oh and disliking the brainrot that is on TikTok and Instagram. Just hating TikTok.

The ability to not give a fuck about what others think about them, showing people close to them that they care about them and tries to help out anyway that they can, showing appreciation when someone does something for them.

I see these qualities in my (guy) friend which is why I had a crush on him. Also he kinda looks like Leon Kennedy sooo...👀

Samwise Gamgee, Gandalf, and Aragorn from LOTR. Or just basically every sage/wise archetype character in stories. Need their wisdom to help me get thru life to prevent me from falling into another depressive episode.

R2D2. Would like a robot friend that makes funny beeps and boops sounds so I won't be sad 24/7.

Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil (game), Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry (game). They seem cool and are badass.

When Joel has to choose to save Ellie from having the brain surgery or not in The Last of Us. When Monika in Doki Doki Literature club removes other characters in the game from the player's file + when she breaks the 4th wall. "It's just a prank, Han!" from Until Dawn.

1. Was strong enough to overcome the harsh realities of dealing with heartbreak and depression. It took a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, days fighting with my suicidal thoughts, and my "inner demons" bashing negative comments to myself to finally have a calmer mind.

2. Got my driver's license after after having a panic attack. I passed on the 3rd try, but I had a panic attack on my 1st in public at the DMV and had a total meltdown in front of strangers on the 2nd try because I failed. I was learning how to drive while being heartbroken after being dumped by my ex. So, I was extremely disappointed in myself that I failed the behind the wheel test because I really did give it my all, my best effort to learn while being depressed as shit, but received a failing grade in the end.

3. Learned from my failures. And is now a much wiser person than I was 3 years ago. I grew up because of my break-up and failures. Aka, growing pains. I learned a lot about myself, learned how to heal, how to deal with pain, suffering, and mental health + gained different perspective about life/relationships, gained new friends and is (slightly) happier than I was 2-3 years ago.

Graduated high school in 2021; I was about 16/17. For me, my senior year of HS wasn't that bad. Sure, we all couldn't physically be with one another, but I didn't really mind. I'm a person who likes to hang out by myself than with other people most of the time. But if my friend wanted to hang out, we go on video calls. I actually prefer online classes. I didn't need to wake up so freaking early to try to stay awake for 6 hours everyday and come back home to study for 4 more hours. I got to walk on stage when I graduated (all wearing masks tho). I'm just glad I got through high school because I didn't really enjoy it (people there were okay/nice. It was the curriculum that made me dislike HS--in America).

Currently, I'm in my 5th year of Uni studying studio arts, but is thinking about going to trade school at my community college for welding because it's harder for people who just graduated to get into (entry level) creative positions, the studio job isn't what I want anymore, and visual development for animation is oversaturated/extremely competitive. I survived the pandemic, but I'm struggling to survive this current semester because of feeling jaded in studying the arts, still depressed, and lost my passion for creating stuff, but is slowly regaining it back. Overall, trying to figure out young adult life (now 22) and trying to keep my worrying about my future/career to a minimum.