Holy fuck man. I'm amazed that you're still around. I know someone who cycles similarly to you once did, and he's my physics prof who put random impact problems involving bikes into his course, so I can definitely imagine the forces at play in your crash.
I'm sorry that this has been your life since then. It's inhuman that we're all treated as numbers
Man this one was annoying.
Tap for spoiler
There's an OK! Brit magazine and an i-D too.