I was recently turned on to NoMachine and have been testing it. I'm fairly impressed with it's performance.
AHrubik
VNC client works well.
https://support.apple.com/guide/mac-help/allow-apple-remote-desktop-to-access-your-mac-mh11851/mac
https://support.apple.com/guide/remote-desktop/welcome/mac
Edit: I feel like I should add that you should never expose your computer's remote access software to the internet. Use a VPN server or Reverse Proxy setup. Both can be done easily using a Raspberry Pi.
Buy a desktop/Mac Studio. That's literally what they're for. Want or need to work remote? Use an iPad to remote into your desktop for performance. These days the only reason to buy a workstation laptop is if you need performance remotely somewhere that doesn't have good internet or you're mobile 75% of the time.
MacOS has a built in 80% limiter for Macs that stay plugged in a lot. There is even a menu bar option to trigger a charge to 100% before needing to leave.
I check mine periodically and it seems to work all the time. Are you on the latest MacOS and patch level?