Asklemmy

Brought earplugs to the Slayer/Slipknot/Mastodon/MachineHead concert…

Bought Apple and Microsoft stock.

Transitioned

Said no to my parents more.

Less fucking about, more fucking

(1) work out, (2) ditch an extremely toxic relationship without ever looking back, (3) have more fun, (4) buy aapl.

Stuff that would theoretically have been possible, in no particular order:

• develop better study & time management skills so college doesn’t kick my ass nearly so badly
• walk on to the college’s cross country team. After all, it was a D3 school, they’ll take just about anyone. Would’ve been a great way to avoid putting on 60 pounds in school.
• spend more time taking advantage of the free therapy sessions in the student health center and maybe God forbid not fall as far into the pit of depression

Warn my boyfriend he had a brain tumor while still possible to treat

Bought Bitcoin or have tried to buy a shoebox of a house.

But I listened to all the "sensible" people and went for a graduate level program instead like an idiot, and then couldn't do anything with it for a litany of reasons. Just one family emergency or health problem after another.

The worst of all maybe could have been avoided if I hadn't been off at school in the first place. I don't regret college, but my education should have stopped there. I was finally an adult, but I still let everyone else dictate my life, right from the getgo.

Biggest regret of my life, right out of the gate.

Gave a shit about school. Instead I was way too worried about finding that one girl for me. Now I’m dumb, poor, and have the most wonderful wife in the world… after a few false starts.

Wish I had gotten diagnosed with adhd. Earlier would have been better, but really it was college and early 20s where it hurt me the most (ie the period of time where I no longer had my parents managing my calendar, and before my wife and I started divvying up personal and household tasks based on our strengths)

I wish I would have taken relationships less seriously. I started dating people when I was young because I thought it was what everyone was doing but I should have been having fun and goofing around.

Investing in Bitcoin, I suppose, is the other thing. I nearly did it when people were paying multiple Bitcoins for a pizza for the novelty of it but stopped because I couldn't figure it out at the time.

Hit the gym brother. Instead of starting my work out journey now in my 30s.

I was fortunate enough to have had a fast metabolism through out my 20s but starting a workout habit earlier would've helped maintain it better.

Kept in touch with friends.

Got back on ADHD meds that my parents took me off as a 10yo as they didn't like the side effects.

Exercised.

Study, get the certification I ended up getting eventually (that i was repeatedly recommended to do but was too perpetually exhausted to study for), and breaking into IT as a career sooner.

Not waste years 18-22 in a shitty grocery store/fast food job. To this day I can't stand to look at a rotisserie chicken cooker.

Go to a therapy

Skipped years of college that didn’t do me any good and just moved out instead of living with my family for another 4 years.

Worry less about grades and academic performance, met my actual therapist back then so I could understand more about myself through exploration of my own self.

Hug my dad more if I knew he would be gone in a few years. Miss him everyday.

Had more sex and opposed my parents making me do so much religious junk with my time.

I wish I would have came out of the closet immediately instead of being in two marriages that really sucked because I was confused about what I wanted and I didn’t want to ostracize myself from my family and peers.

Fuck, that felt good to get out

• Get tested and subsequently treated for ADHD.

• Dump the ex I was dating around that time instead of letting her take up two years of my life that I wont get back.

• Pay more attention to the people that actually put effort into their friendship/relationship with me and drop the ones that didn't.

• Work out more and eat better.

• Socialize as much as I could while living in the dorms.

• Either join or create study groups.

My drivers license. Now I'm 19 and still need to do it.

Stop trying so hard to get laid. I could have had better relationships if I'd just stopped making that my goal.

But those teenage boy hormones hit hard and that's literally all I could think about back then.

Tried dancing with that girl at the prom who actually wanted to dance with me. Yeah the music was loud, but I should have tried anyway. (Even not knowing how.)

Eventually I learned better how to talk/interact with women and even married a great one, but I do wonder how my life would be different if I had earlier what little skill I have now.

Noticed how many people were interested in me. Could have had a lot more connections had I nurtured them when I had the chance. Now that i'm a grown ass man and it's really kicking me in the ass just how hard it is to even meet people, nonetheless make a connection.

The only phone number I ended up getting was my manager (when I resigned) I didn't even realize they liked me until years later and I'm not even entirely sure that the number is still theirs and even if it were they've long ago moved and it wouldn't even be a good idea anyway.

Moral of the story if anyone gives you the time of day do the bare minimum of getting a contact so that you can catch up with them later.

Looked inward and truly considered how my words and actions affected others

I (emotionally) hurt someone I cared about deeply, and it has taken years of work and therapy to begin to move past it

I wish I had a solid social network and gone straight to university. Your social network is a vital part of life. I was in an advanced K-12 primary school and wish I had been born to intelligent atheists who valued intelligence. I had teachers that all but wanted to fight my parents about how they neglected my potential, but I had no context to really understand what all that meant.

Not wasted all the time and actually studied. I am pretty good even at procrastinating starting things I like doing.

Also, when I was 17 one of the better colleges had a yearly competition in networking (specifically with Cisco devices) where people who scored above 56% would get some larger amount of bonus points at that college. Unfortunately, the number of places was limited, so I didn't want to take anyone's opportunity away by signing up, as I wasn't 100% sure I could do it.
In the end, 14 people who signed up didn't even show up. Fuck that!

Perhaps I could try when it will be held next year. Yeah, future tense. I am still 17. But it's still the same morale problem. Limited number of opportunities. Not everyone can get the chance, perhaps because of me.
I don't know what to do.
I am not even sure I regret the choice I made. On one hand, I lost an opportunity myself. On the other hand, it feels like I made a right, albeit dumb decision.

So yeah, back to the question. I will regret fucking up my life. I know I'll do just that.

For a long time, I'd say accept that nothing was going to happen with this girl I fell for at the time, and focus on my writing (what I was in college for at the time, with an eye to getting into a great program at the uni down the road for slighty less total cost than just going there).

I've since learned it's important not to focus on what you could've done differently in the past. It's done, and it lead to wherever you are today. But boy, did that person - more accurately, the situation I found myself in re: that person - cause a series of events that included some pretty dark times.

But who's to say life right now would be better for it?

Gotten on antidepressants immediately after high school. I would have had my shit completely together by the time I graduated from community college and either succeeded in my original field (music recording) or gone to engineering school and finished before the pandemic.

I wish I had dropped out of college as I planned to.

stop distracting myself from myself and come to terms with my identity

Put more thought into realistic options for my career.

I think I did pretty well at 18. If I could have met my future partner earlier that'd be pretty sweet.

Otherwise, I'm happy with what I did... so I'll go with the bullshit dumb answer of "Buy lots of Apple stock" because I've got nothing else to use it on.

If you're asking what you should do... find yourself, have some crazy sex, don't fall into awful vices like gambling. Just enjoy yourself.

Be happier.

I wish I had gone straight into college even though I was incredibly depressed and suffering from cptsd.

I could have been depressed and living in a dorm and possibly getting into wacky adventures or meeting somebody to love me rather than being depressed and living in my truck and scooting from minimum wage job to minimum wage job for 7 years before I finally started to get my shit together.

Lost my virginity.

Being the (almost) 40 Year Old Virgin is not as great as they say it is.