this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
386 points (98.7% liked)

Asklemmy

43822 readers
880 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So i still have depression and im constantly bored, i feel like a loser who cant do anything right. I want to let my creativeness out, make something i can share with the world or family, but im probably dreaming too big. I cant stand being depressed and bored, it stinks, everyone tells me to work out but i lack the motivation to do so.

i usually just watch youtube all day while complaining to family members that have no idea what to do about me.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 231 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (13 children)

Hiking.

I cannot stress this enough.

One of the biggest loops of depression is feeling anhedonic and drained of energy, which keeps you from doing stuff, which keeps you anhedonic and drained of energy.

Go for a hike literally every single day for a whole month. Rate your depression on a scale of 1-10 every day a week before you start, every single day during, and then every day for a week after. You'll see the trend, and hiking will be your new antidepressant.

It's easy. It's walking. It's not competitive, you can go hilariously slowly and still accomplish your goal. You can add hobbies to this hobby, like photography or bird watching. You're probably not getting enough exercise, and being depressed all the time blows.

If you're nerdy and depressed, you may have heard about EMDR, where you sway your eyes back and forth rhythmically while you think about trauma. The doctor who came up with the treatment (that's showing crazy good results) went down the rabbit hole they went down because they noticed walking in the woods helping their depression. They currently think the mechanism has something to do with bilateral stimulation (walking) and constant reframing of your perspective (tree on my right, tree on my left, rock on my right, rock on my left).

Other physical activities are great too, but hiking seems literally taylor made for the depressed.

Do you struggle with anxiety and destructive ruminative thought patterns? Guess what you won't have the energy to do when you're panting for air?

Hiking is a legit way to maintain depression indefinitely. Don't get cozy, though. take a break and your brain will find its way back to it's old antics.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

Walking, or running, is good for your brain in almost every way. My depression was/is coupled with social anxiety so it was hard to get myself to do it but things like walking to the grocery store instead of biking/car helped me change that into 'I'll take a detour'.

The worst hobbies for me are the ones that are done sitting still, or anything that 'creates' a different 'reality/world'. For me that was anything behind my pc. Woodworking is better for me and allows me not to worry about social stuff but walking is definitely better for my brain.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This was an amazing help last year when my wife was had really bad PTSD symptoms from a medical crisis she had. We walked 3+ miles almost every day last fall through January. She started getting better around then, and we started shortening our walks to 1 mile a day throughout the spring.

Now it's over 100°F every single day and we are stuck inside for at least another month. Luckily she's doing well these days, but I do miss our walks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

If you want to throw stuff while hiking, Disc Golf is for you. Honestly I owe playing disc golf much appreciation to getting out of a big slump I was in and losing weight. It’s like hiking, but with a mini game built in.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Start playing a musical instrument. Works for me

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

i second this and recommend Piano/Keyboard.

A cheap Keyboard is probably found for 40-50 bucks online and it is a good starting point to also get into the music theory.

Still the skill ceiling is practically endless.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Keyboard is good. I personally would recommend bass guitar if you like rock music. If you can save up $200-300 and buy a used Squire Precision or Squire Jazz bass, it will literally last you years as long as you change the strings regularly and learn how to do an at-home setup.

You can pick up the basics and start jamming with people really fast, but the skill ceiling is deceptively high. Bassists are the hardest to find in any band.

The instrument is fun as hell too.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ukulele is a fun starting instrument, and you can get a serviceable one for ~$50.

Tons of YouTube tutorials, too.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Exercise is the best cure for depression. Get a bicycle and start exploring new places around you. Endurance exercise is most useful for balancing metabolism and hormones. Do it every day, and only for your well being. You may find it is life altering. It only takes around 2 months of pushing yourself when the routine seems difficult. After the initial startup, it becomes harder and harder to stop the routine over time.

A lot of my advanced curiosities and interests all started from needing to fix stuff like my first car, or putting together junk PC parts to get something to play Doom back in the day when Doom was barely on the trailing edge of gaming. Learn to use FOSS tools on a computer. There is a free way to do everything. If you learn these tools well, it will pay off substantially in life. The entire digital underworld runs on open source software.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Running!

I was clinically depressed from 2002 to 2017. In 2017 I lost coverage and was forced to stop taking my medication.

The medication was wellbutrin. It really helped. I hated that I couldn’t get access to it, but I had to face life without it.

After having ramped down off the stuff, I was okay for a couple of weeks then the darkness started to come in.

In my research I found that exercise does the same thing as my medication (it increases hippocampal volume). So I switched from running about 1 mile per week to about 25 miles per week.

And my depression was gone. The medication managed it, allowed me to live my life. The running destroyed my depression.

IMO depression is caused by brain atrophy, which is caused by lack of moving one’s body. We evolved to be moving so much more, and just like your muscles will atrophy if you’re bedridden, your brain will atrophy if you don’t exert your body. Shrinking brain means life sucks hard.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have lots of good answers posted but here is the trick...You have to START.

You don't need to sign up at the gym today and build a schedule to work out. That's way too much commitment. Instead just go outside.

That's it. Just put down the phone and go outside. Spend 5 or 10 mins out there. You didn't run a marathon, but you've done something today. Maybe later today you can go outside again. Tomorrow so the same thing. Put the phone down and go outside for a short time.

You gotta start somewhere, so make it easy and start small. Eventually you'll spend more time outside and less time doing nothing. Maybe you see cool plants and start getting into gardening. Maybe you find that walking isn't so bad and you find a park with a nice trail and work into jogging? Maybe the kid down the street wrecks his minibike in front of your house while you're outside and you stop to help and think the tiny motorcycle is cool and get inspired to start riding.

tldr- Don't just pick someone else's hobby. Put down the phone and go experience life outside your home. The hobby will likely find you when you start paying attention instead of distracting yourself.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (4 children)

First and foremost I want to second anyone who brought up cooking. Learning to cook a meal perfectly to your tasted is both accomplishing and sharable.

For the geekier stuff, I have taken up Gundam model kits in the last year. You can start off with simply building them straight from the box. There are also a ton of ways to customize them such as repainting, adding decals, create "weathering" effects and "kit bashing" (mixing models together to make your own new model). It has been a very nice outlet whenever I want to be crafty.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Knitting, crocheting, embroidery, cross stitch, etc. The work is meditative, and you get in a groove waiting to see what the next row or stitches will look like. Producing an object feels productive, and gives a feeling of accomplishment.

Choose bright colors and fun patterns, and it's a lot of fun. There are patterns for all interests, so don't think this is the realm of only little old ladies. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had a conversation with a coworker recently and we got to the topic of working out, and he told he's working out two times a day. He goes to the gym before and after work.

I asked him why the hell he would go twice, like that's just ridiculous and he said well he was depressed, and started working out. Everyone said it'd help with the depression, but it helped only a bit. So he figured well maybe he has to go even more.

It's absolutely ridiculous imo, but.. whatever helps one I guess

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Making food, either baking or cooking. They focus you on the here and now and you eat well to boot.

A hobby that has helped me a lot is knitting. It’s simple to learn and it’s another truly mindful thing to do for you.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

I describe it as "playfighting for adults". It's a ground-based, grappling combat sport where your aim is to submit your opponent via joint locks and chokes.

It sounds simple enough, but there is a surprising amount of skill to it. A black belt takes roughly ten years to get, and unlike martial arts where you see 12 year old black belts, all black belts are adults, and you'll almost never see a black belt that doesn't have the skill to back it up.

A lot of people find that it really helps them with depression and socialising. While it's absolutely NOT a replacement for therapy, you hear countless stories of people in a bad place mentally and physically, finding solace and meaning in BJJ.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Hiking. It costs nothing and you can create your own meaning from it. You can do the same trail over and over and know the place intimately, or you can make it a goal to do as many as possible and keep track of them all with souvenirs or art or whatever you want. The benchmark for success is what you define. And it's got a bonus of being good for your body.

I'd also suggest traditional music, but maybe keep it simple and cheap... ukulele, didgeridoo, or tin whistle. It's a low bar for entry and it's inherently social, all about jamming and being inclusive. Didgeridoo is more solitary, if that's what you prefer. These instruments have almost no ongoing costs and are great for learning the basics of music.

Instruments arr both humbling and also affirming. You can make noticeable progress and, again, define your own success. All my best friendships came through playing music. It's an endless source of joy for me. I generally tend toward depression but music keeps The Big Sad at bay

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For me getting back into LEGO really helped, it's a nice and relaxing activity. Also depending on your interests a hobby like flying FPV quadcopters can be a lot of fun. Forces you to go outside too which is always good :-)

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Anything where you get to be physically active or mentally creative.

Passively consuming content is extremely unhealthy in large doses: TV, youtube, even reading is not healthy after a certain point. Humans were meant to be physically active creatures above all, not meant to stare at screens for long periods of time like many of us are doing now.

The best de-stressers are things like playing a musical instrument, painting, knitting / crocheting, hiking / going for walks / runs, exercising, meditating. I would go completely bonkers if I didn't have piano and weight-lifting.

Oh also, maintaining a regular cardio / activity regimen with something like PAI, will also help you live a lot longer too. With a cheap smartwatch that supports it, you can kind of game-ify your cardio health.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Photography.

You can set up a little studio area in your house and start with still life pictures. Search for Danish Still Life Paintings for some ideas - I'm sure there's plenty of YouTube rabbit holes for more ideas. Or, just take up painting!

Photography is also a great excuse to get out of the house and walk around. Whether it's street photography or landscape or close up nature photography, there's always something to take pictures of. Give yourself little assignments - just circles today, just signs, just shadows, etc.

Either way, this is a creative outlet that you can share with others as you progress and get better. Who knows, you might start printing your images and have a gallery showing at a cafe!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Model railway...

Build your own buildings...

This one, i made myself. https://japix.schuerz.at/p/jakob/402735537014407232

Did not know before, that i can do this... 😊

Made me really happy and proud.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Frisbee golf. It's cheap, fun but challenging, and outdoors. Worst case scenario, you go on a long walk and bump into some interesting people. If you're in a medium sized city or larger, there is probably a course and league near you.

The culture is generally very polite and fun to be around. Lots of harmless stoners and 30yo bearded people with beers in hand. In the south there is starting to be some influence from megachurches using it as an enticement, so I'm not sure if it's "cleaned up" a little more down there.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Go exploring. On whatever mode of transportation you prefer, in whatever area you like. Set small goals for each trip (this is important to keep you from just wandering completely aimlessly). Maybe try to find a new restaurant of a cuisine you've never tried. Maybe find a street or alleyway you've never visited and see what's there. Maybe go find the biggest tree in the park. Basically just go see what's out there.

If you struggle coming up with your own fun goals, try geocaching instead.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I was in a similar boat and I really can’t overstate how much working your way into an exercise routine will help. It feels impossible to start at first, but if you just commit to 30 minutes daily of walking/stretching/yoga, you’ll be amazed how quickly it goes from being an awful chore that takes tons of willpower, to a regular part of your routine that feels weird to skip.

Exercise is like a weird super power that genuinely makes you more confident, gives you more energy for mental tasks, and makes the rest of your life better. When I think back on my adult life, my mental health has always tended to go down when I would stop exercising, and it’s only when I would start again that things started getting better

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Many people have suggested walking and creative outlets. I think painting rocks is a good way to merge the two together. Go on a walk with the intention of finding a rock you like. It can be big, small, smooth, rough, maybe the shape of the rock reminds you of something or maybe it’s just a rock. Then at home just paint it however. It’s low stakes cause it’s just a rock, it has a clear finish point, it can be as high or low effort as you want. Big, small, plain, intricate, concrete, abstract. Just get a rock and put some paint on it and then you can feel accomplished cause you did something good for yourself.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Adding to all of the other comments, I have to add to the music suggestions: You DO NOT even have to learn an instrument. Learn how to make electronic music (you don't have to make techno or other such electronic electronic music. Just lay down a drum track and add a little sound here and another there. YouTube is full of tutorials for full blown DAW's/workstations and the simplest apps. Get Koala Sampler or some other app for your phone or better yet, tablet.

Even simpler, try an app called Keylimba, the default sound is a soothing thumb piano/marimba, and for just a couple euros/bucks you can get a range of instruments, but the marimba is very well enough for a long ass time. With it you can just have the thing loop whatever base you put in and just, pluck a sound here and there. I'm a half-pro musician and I still often find myself just relaxing with it. Making a simple chord structure and just chilljamming away. Music isn't hard and difficult, people/society just approaches it in a really backwards way. Anyone can do music. Sequencers and loopers are such an underrated tool for learning and creativity. You don't have to mind any theory at all, just do what feels good.

I also have to add - meditation. Get a calm album or find one on YouTube that has music you enjoy, or even look up a guided meditation on YouTube, there's tons. Meditation is great if you can find even a moment to focus/unfocus on it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I see a lot of physical activities around here, and I strongly agree. Find something that gets you outside and makes you move around. Hiking, biking, running, team sports, climbing - all great. Find whatever suits you and is within your area.

I recently got into disc golf. It's something i look forward to play, and it makes me go outside often and I meet a lot of new people while playing.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@QuietStorm I find gardening a great help. Watching something grow, taking care of flowers and veggies is rewarding.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Working out. Either biking, walking, lifting weights, doing martial arts, etc. It doesn't matter. In some of my lowest points if my life I started working out and it helped. It didn't fix it but it really helped my mood improve. It also raises your self-esteem. I did a couple of years of BJJ and it really made me feel better about myself. Now I go to the gym and lift weights. Looking better and seeing the weights I can lift become heavier do a lot of me.

Music. Pick up a guitar. Thomann sells really cheap guitars that are great for beginners. Learn some songs you love and play along with them. Just look up tabs online and go from there. Eventually, you'll realize that you can use the instrument as a constructive channel to your emotions.

Both (or even most) suggestions you're going to hear about this topic take discipline. There is a reason for that. These things are rewarding proportional to the effort you put in. Seeing yourself improve at whatever you choose ultimately will only happen when you make the time and put in the effort. Do not be discouraged. The first few weeks are always hard but you can build good habits in a short time.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Climbing / bouldering

I concur with most other people in this thread. Any exercise will do wonders. This is coming from a guy who's been into nerdy stuff my entire life - getting into a rhythm of actually wanting to do exercise is alfa omega.

I'm throwing bouldering into the pool of options. I've heard people with ADHD often get really into it because it is easy to get into, and does not demand a lot of prep work.

It can be expensive some places, but if the thing makes me work out without me even "knowing it" then it's worth the money for me.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Taking care of pets might help with your mood and help you meet other people as well.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Depressed people make the best bread.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Going on random long walks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

One that you spend time on. They call it "behavioral activation", basically just keep pushing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

programming. you can do cool stuff on your own

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Roller skating or roller blading can be an alternative to hiking, walking, and running that is loads of fun. This option can cost a bit more upfront for skates and protective gear but that can be minimized if you try to buy second hand.

I like this option since it can invoke more of a childlike fun and still get you out of the house. It's also arguably a cool hobby. Skating and blading works well if you live in a place that's more urban/suburban. You're not competing with anyone (except the you of yesterday). It's great to feel the wind and road fly by once you get good enough.

If anyone decides to try it, I recommend finding a flat, smooth spot and wearing a helmet and pads to start. Watch videos to improve your skills. Connect with other skaters online and in person if/when you feel comfortable doing so.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I started doing diamond art. Here is a cheap set with honestly 100+ hours of content. AMAZON LINK

I would put on a TV show and sit at my desk and Diamond art for a few hours before bed. Each picture takes 10-15 hours in my experience. When I was done I would find someone to give the picture to.

So not only have you accomplished something and you can SEE THE PROGRESS, you don't need a big shift in your life of watching youtube, and at the end you get to make some else happy by giving them a gift. And for a hobby it's fairly inexpensive.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Not sure if they count as hobbies since they're ones that didn't wholly develop consciously, but photography and cryptography are the two that get me by.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Lego are hella fun

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Gardening is great and forces you to care for a thing.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Cycling did wonders for my mental health. It's something I can do solo but I also do it socially (I represent a local advocacy club). Being outside, feeling the wind, exploring your surrounding in a new light, etc. For working out, I believe than in the beginning it requires more discipline than motivation. Set yourself a goal, like riding/running/lifting/whatever for x amount of time (say 30min everyday o 2-3x a week) and just. do. it. Do it even if you don't feel like it, make a routine out of it to create anticipation. In time you'll notice that it gets less and less hard to get up and do the activity and then comes the movitation (like wanting to go farther, faster, lift heavier weights, etc).

If you're not feeling like going outside and since you mention wanting to make something, I'd recommend crochet or knitting. With crochet you can make amigurumi (stuffed toys) and with knitting you can make small items to gift (beanies, hats, cowls, scarves, etc). I recently discovered this craft myself and after noticing a positive effect I looked it up and turns out repetitive hand motions actually increase serotonine release. Plus the feeling of achievement after completing an item after some/lots of effort (and cursing) is very rewarding.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Already mentioned. But hiking or uust going for a walk. Even light exercise (such as walking) have been proven to improve mood (and bodily health)

Bring a camera and take some pictures.

Take new random routes

Say hi to random people and/or animals

Me and my wife do a daily little walk. We meet neighbourhood cats etc all the time. Its nice and fun

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Exercise. Not kidding, it will help.

And cooking. Healthy food will also help. Make sure you get liver in there.

load more comments
view more: next ›