So why not do something cool as a guy? I mean, you can even gender bend in your cosplay if you want to! There is no law that says guys can only cosplay as guys!
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
-7 points (45.3% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26707 readers
1808 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics.
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Because idk how since i never see it anywhere
Search engines exist. You don't have to be at the mercy of your algorithms. Take a character you want to be and google them... "Vi Arcane genderbent cosplay" or similar should get you something.
That is for sure not my reaction to pictures of pretty women. But you do you.
I don't know how to say this but I feel I need to because people here are being dicks with downvotes: have you ever considered that you're a gender non conforming person?
It's just that feeling you described seems like something you should explore in a more accepting environment.
"Anyone else?" = literally always yes
There have been some really strange things attached to that question before ... Still though, it's amazing how common strange things can be.
Well I mean there's only like 8 billion other people, so certainly no one else has ever felt like me before.
The algorithm is pushing that content because you either interact more with it or spend longer time scrolling by. Pictures of beautiful women will always dominate the social media, because everyone regardless of gender and age are biologically conditioned to look at them.
Don't be fooled into believing that anything on social media is remotely close to reality. It's absolutely not a reason for anyone to make life changing decisions. You need to make those decisions based in reality.
If you're into cosplay, fashion, modelling or photography, you should try seeing it in real life to acknowledge how incredibly dull it is to make those perfect pictures.
But also, yes, most dudes are generally less interested in appearing visually hot. It's mostly bodybuilders who post their beefcakes to impress people on social media. It's so vain and lacking in confidence in my opinion. I don't need large muscles to feel manly. To me "manliness" is more about being confident. Not by slacking off and just not caring, but by paying attention to details and understanding how what I wear is fitting me in the situation.
If you have an actual interest in male fashion, you can easily find that content. There's no reason why you should feel lame or boring for being a man. There are lots of things you can play with to make a great personal look. For instance I'd start out by ditching the classic safe white or blue shirts and get something with more colours and made from a finer fabric. It will instantly make you stand out from the guys who just wear what their wife brought home.
because everyone regardless of gender and age are biologically conditioned to look at them.
Sorry but this is bullshit. Images of women dominate social media because men with power (and money) tend to like looking at them. I may not be socially conditioned to treat men as objects but the lack of choice this society affords me does not somehow mean I have the same visual preferences as the men who dictate my world.
No, it's not (just) because horny old rich men like watching it.
Images of beautiful women dominate social media because it works in marketing. They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.
It's not at all about what you prefer watching. Preferably you'd want to avoid watching marketing all together. No, it's about what makes you buy stuff.
Most marketing is directed at women (even for men products) because the purchase decisions are mostly done by women in the moment of sales. Using beautiful women in marketing simply sells better.
Now you're mixing up "what marketers think works" with the much broader category of "images on social media".
What marketing departments dominated by men think works is not the same thing as what actually works is not the same thing as what gets put on social media.
What marketing departments dominated by men think works is not the same thing as what actually works
In this case, isn't it because the market evolved faster than they could keep up with? Probably there was a time where most of their customers were "macho men", so these adds would work in marketing.
That is the assumption. But that does not mean it is true.
I posted an example of the tyre company before. The other example I can't find is the blog by a guy who rented two stalls at either end of the same conference, staffed one with models and the other with local grandmothers. The grandmothers did much more business. It's the salesmen who want the stall staffed with models, not the customers.
The evidence-base of sales & marketing is dismal to non-existent.
It's the salesmen who want the stall staffed with models, not the customers.
Could you link the evidence-base of this though?
Could you read the post though?
Ok I realise that I did not put the previous comment in the friendliest form, sorry about that !
Your point is that the marketing choice of using beautiful women is dictated by the sellers' preferences rather that the buyers' one. In the apparent absence of evidence to support either hypothesis, you are willing to favor the former one.
What I haven't said explicitly yet is that there is one argument that makes me find the latter one more likely in the absence of further evidence : the businesses that make their marketing choices based on customers' preferences will tend to survive more. kn our capitalist society, it makes sense to me.
You gave one counter-example that is not strong enough to change my opinion as it can also be explained with the firm having poorly evaluated what their target audience was. They do say in the article that more women started buying tyres after the marketing change, which is indeed not the audience targeted with the sexy-girl ad.
It does however a good job at disproving the affirmation "because everyone regardless of gender and age are biologically conditioned to look at them." to which you were originally replying, and I disagree with that affirmation as well. I just think your conclusion goes too far i the other direction, in the absence of further evidence.
Like I said, the evidence-base is near non-existent. But you can't look at decisions foisted on us almost exclusively by sales types and assume that means it works because they know what they're doing.
it can also be explained with the firm having poorly evaluated what their target audience was
It was a tech conference attended almost exclusively by men.
I wish I could find the article now. But (some of) what he said was that the models attracted sleaze balls who were there to have a jolly, not to do business. Stall busy, order book empty. And that the local grandmothers did so well because they could recommend local restaurants and leisure activities and did not make the company look like it only wanted to do business with sleaze balls. Stall busy, order book full.
He also said that it was the sales men (specifically, men) who demanded they employ models because they wanted to spend all day hanging out with models being sleaze balls, not because there was any evidence that it improved business (hence, the test).
The one example I was commenting about is the tyre example. They sold more tyres to women after dropping the sexy girl on the ad. How much of a stretch is it to assume that these women were not the sexy ad's target audience because women used to be less (socially allowed to get) interested in cars?
Images of women dominate social media because men with power (and money) tend to like looking at them
Lol you think all the horny 20 something dudes salivating over Instagram hotties have power and money?
Clicks are money. The people making the decisions are not the people they're trying to make money off. HTH
I'm sorry, you're confused about this. People with money are not driving the behavior of the hottie enjoyers. It's the reverse. Joe Everyman is willing to give his attention to hot women, and Instagram is profiting off that.
Ordinary people have the power to control what they see?
Bullshit.
Unsure if trolling or not. Yes, you have the power to choose what you view online.
Who decides what is made available to view?
Now I wonder how ancient art and representation compares to modern day.
Like not enough to fall down the rabbit hole, but damn sure enough to mention it, and hope someone else falls down and they report back.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Be that attractive guy in an interesting artistic cosplay. See if that scratches the itch. You can dress well without transitioning, and you can transition without dressing well. The two don't have to be connected.
Your algorithm is likely based on your past clicks. You probably give traffic to female cosplayers and not to male cosplayers.
I cant find stuff to draw inspiration from tho thats my issue
Just look at guys in media you admire. They don't have to be real life. Say you like a character from a show, movie or game. I read about someone who started emulating a gentleman from a western game (forget which one) and it did wonders for his confidence.
Even if you look at real life, there are men's fashion icons. I recall seeing Idris Elba rocking some nice suits for example.
Reddit has a r/mensfashionadvice with tons of inspiration. I'm not sure if Lemmy has a comparable community.
Or look at the women you think look good, and masculinize it. Women's outfits aren't all inherently womenly or anything, and even a dress or something can be made more manly if you need to and you're willing to exercise that creative muscle.
I mean, no to the title question because that's just silly.
But it's also a no otherwise.
I'm not into cosplay for myself. Not my preferred way to spend money. But I've seen plenty of in person cosplay done by guys that are superb. It is less geared toward pretty, and more towards "authentic" character depiction, and almost always traditional male super heroes. There are some that bend genders, or pick characters that are less "macho" looking, but finding the relatively small percentage of guys that want to do that, have the skill to do it well, and have the funds to execute it isn't exactly frequent.
More often, if a guy steps outside of the standard characters, they do it for the laughs, like this guy I saw doing sailor moon once. It amounted to booger drag, but that was the fun part what with rejecting gender norms in favor of just having a blast.
But online? Nah, the guys I've ever known that are into cosplay seriously don't post things online because that's a recipe to get trolled or outright abused.
Besides, "boring", "cool", "stylish" and "interesting" are all in the eyes of the beholder.
Cosplay isnt the point that was just one small scenario. Idc about authentic cosplay im just talking about wearing stuff that looks good.
It makes me feel like crossdressing, so I do. Occasionally I see an outfit that needs at least B cups to work (usually something with a boob window) and it makes me feel jealous I don't have that.
But I'm with you, I completely disagree with the comment saying men's fashion is interesting if you look for it. It's not, the only forms of men's fashion that are interesting are the forms that society has labeled "feminine." Going into a store and seeing all the men's clothes in neutrals and actual variety in the women's cemented my interest in crossdressing.
There are fun colors in men's clothing if you look in the right places. Of course if you walk into a popular store you'll see popular style choices, and neutral colors and boxy shapes are popular in menswear. That doesn't mean other styles don't exist. There might not be a physical store near you with fun-colored menswear, so you might need to check online.
If you actually tried finding the alternative I bet you'd find it.
Where? Ive tried
The internet.
Do you want to be the man looking interestingly attractive instead? Or is this an excuse to want to look like a woman?
Not everyone's a pretty woman. You can't just transition into a pretty woman.
I think you are seeing the appeal of drag my friend. Men's fashion is generally less flashy and more traditional currently than women's fashion. So those who are interested sometimes get into drag to model and make women's fashion.
Also I think most men's fashion has certain styles and subcultures that you might not be as interested in. Sneaker, caps and street wear is where the money is and most of the innovation. The rest is pretty standardized
Nothing wrong with a bit of gender envy
I don't know if it helps, but maybe thrift stores could be a way to try out some of your ideas without spending too much? I recently got some cool t-shirts at one of my favorite thrift shops for $2.99, shoes for $12.99, etc.
It's the algorithm. You need to follow men instead. I find women disgusting, the more "pretty", the more disgusting. But men are also disgusting.
Wanting social attention could lead you to transition? I believe the answer it's yes..