this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I have my emotions off for some time now, how do I turn them on again?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There's a spot inside ur butt that'll make you feel again. Get someone to press it and you'll feel all sorts of ways.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Note: This button may not be present in about half the population.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

While true, a finger up the butt still makes that other half feel things

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

There may also be a workaround, but it's more complicated.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Have you tried developing severe bipolar disorder?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Tried that. Now numbness is interspersed with extreme recklessness

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Am woman. Plucked a hair out of my chin yesterday and have no emotions. Am I doing this right?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Simple: just take more estrogen

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Uhh. I need to find my settings app, please!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Look for the thing with the gears.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Actually since the update its the one with cogs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

All I have is the three lines.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Oh, I remember when I had only three lines.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

"First go to settings"

Then scroll down to "About life", open it and tap "Version" seven times to unlock developer mode. Go back to the main menu, and open developer options, tick "Opt into beta features".

Then just restart your life and follow the instructions.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Easy peasy: just be sensitive and get hurt a lot, emotions turn off, and stay off, by default after a while because the Detachment module is triggered on.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My schoolmates pranked me and turned it off, how do I turn it back on?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

There's a third party application called LSD, some people said it works for them, others just ended up with more problems.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

It's probably in task scheduler. Look for tasks that run when idle and disable them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I don't know why, but "what do next" is my favorite part of this.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Every eighteen months (more or less) I have to taper off from coffee, especially if I get up to 32 oz a day, at which point I'm a buzzy, angsty basket case. Every two days, I drop my intake to a half to a quarter (so like 8oz on day one, and then 4 oz on day three and then 2 oz on day five).

If I go cold turkey, I get headaches. This way, I just nap a lot.

During this period, all my fucks go away. Gone. I have absolute zero fucks to give about anything. Mostly I just sit in a corner and social media scroll as if doing any of that will stimulate me somehow. It won't.

This is the closest I get to turning off my emotions, but man, it shuts down everything.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

okay but seriously is there a way to turn off our emojis?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Depends on your phone's keyboard