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[–] 97 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.

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  • [–] 31 points 2 years ago (13 children)

    Wrong, Google maps can track him and I've heard him in the middle on the night.

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  • [–] 44 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.

    Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he's going or where he is, but not both at the same time.

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  • [–] [S] 16 points 2 years ago (8 children)

    I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

    Are you sure that isn't just a peeping tom?

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago* (7 children)

    No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Your mom didn't shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (4 children)
  • [–] [S] 8 points 2 years ago (3 children)
  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago

    No! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

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  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Breaking and entering is okay on Christmas if you use the chimney?

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  • [–] 22 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I like the idea of the time zone Santa being in is like an electron probability cloud.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    So can someone who understands quantum theory higher level than a simple idiot like myself confirm if this actually holds to real quantum physics, or is it just words?

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  • [–] [S] 23 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    As an expert scientician with a degree in science, I can tell you in my educated opinion that Santa's Quantum Superposition Theory is the best explanation for how I got a Zartan action figure in 1985 without ever telling my mom and dad I wanted one.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago

    It also explains how everyone gets exactly what they asked Santa for. Before the present is opened it contains all possible presents and once you open it, it collapses to what you expected.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Wave function collapse is a totally real thing, yeah.

    Most quantum stuff doesn't apply to our every day, macro lives.

    Except seeing Santa. If you see him, run.

    Don't stop running.

    He's faster than a deer, and you need a head start. ;)

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago*

    To a degree, yes. As was mentioned elsewhere there is a thing called Wave Function Collapse, which occurs when a measurement is taken of a quantum system and forces the system from superposition (multiple states at once) into a single state. A measurement could be seeing it, scanning it, bumping into it, etc (not human conscious observation, that's an old and weird interpretation and not relevant nowadays).

    Before (and after as well) you actually collapse the wave function you can perform meaningful math using the quantum particles. The one way I'm familiar with is for computer calculations, which is what quantum computers are aiming for. This is basically done by canceling out certain possibilities to only allow the wave function to collapse into ways that give meaningful mathematic results.

    As such, this is barely relatable to a quantum Santa which uses this nature to perform meaningful present sharing actions simultaneously using quantum superposition of a quantum system that is spread out over a very large area. Of course, basic quantum mechanics becomes statistically the same as normal physics (i.e. 10 quadrillion particles average out to one normal human), so Santa would need to be a reality bender to allow for such small chances to occur to allow a human sized being to affect a huge area... but whatever.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    Yes, but no.

    A quantum Santa could deliver presents to every house simultaneously if nothing observed his passage. On the other hand, at some point the wave function will collapse, like say when people check what presents are under the tree. When the wave function collapses, the probabilities all go away and there's a single answer, so he could deliver presents to one and only one house.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Correction: only MY house gets presents if I see Santa. THEY'RE ALL MINE

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago*

    Image Transcription: Mastodon Post


    Bastett, @Bastett@meow.social

    Santa is a quantum being. His probabilistic nature means he can be in every house at the same time on Christmas.

    This is why it's vitally important noone sees him. If he's observed the probabilites collapse and only one house gets presents.

    #Christmas

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    It's your parent(s)/primary caregiver(s). It's expensive and a little gratitude wouldn't hurt.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    So only Noone needs to wear a blindfold?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    This is not a problem for kids here in Finland. On Christmas Eve, there is a knock on the door and Santa Claus (Joulupukki) comes in to greet the family and bring gifts.

    No problem with observation or collapsing Christmas probability fields or whatever. He brings the presents, you thank him and that's it.

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