this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
277 points (96.3% liked)

internet funeral

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We will never know if it really is a haiku or not

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Schrödinger’s Haiku
a new haiku obscured by
a vegan hotdog

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

So the cat ate the hot dog, or not?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

This is art.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (8 children)

This is what I don't understand about vegans. Unlimited international access to traditional recipes and exotic vegetables. New combinations of flavors and techniques available everywhere.

So you recreate the hotdog? I mean how do you even measure success? Perfection would still be a hotdog!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Its simple: I liked hot dogs before I became a vegan. I still like them, but now I can eat them without harming the environment, animals and my body.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Eat them without harming... my body

Hold on now. You could still fuck yourself up if you ate like 30 of them mofuckers a day. Especially if you coated them with cornbread batter and deep fried them.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

This is what I don't understand about people who eat food. Unlimited international access to traditional recipes and exotic vegetables, meat and other ingredients. New combinations of flavors and techniques available everywhere.

So you create the hotdog? I mean how do you even measure success? Perfection would still be a hotdog!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I didn’t become vegan because i didn’t like the taste or the experience. I did because I could no longer handle contributing to animal cruelty every time i need to feed myself (or clothes, or so many other things). It’s a moral decision, not a culinary adventure.

Prior to becoming vegan i said the same thing you are saying in this post. I’m gonna tell you the same thing i would tell my younger self: go fuck yourself, i’ll be vegan however i want. Why the fuck are you judging how i’m doing so? What the absolute shit does it matter whether you “understand” why i eat what i eat? I do eat a lot of those cuisines, but i do also eat vegan meat replacements, because sometimes i just feel like a burger, and vegan food science has been getting better and better over the last few decades.

Plus, all of those traditional recipes and exotic veggies are available to you too. You can eat them even if you’re not vegan. Hell, you can even add meat to them if you want. Many of them are made traditionally both with and without meat. But no, you pick a hot dog too?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

This is art! So much this!!

Thank you for expressing something I always wanted to, but did not have the words to do so.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Hot dogs are easy, even vegans like convenience.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

The desire to gobble glizzies transcends dietary practice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Not vegan, but pescetarian, so vaguely similar.

I personally like vegan meat replacements because I just miss meat. Some people also want to fit in, and not abstain from a tradition because of dietary preference. Meat is a pretty big part of culture, at least here in the U.S., with burgers, Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas ham, July 4th hotdogs, etc.

Additionally, the same arguement could be applied in the other direction. Some traditional meats from various places on earth are spiders, scorpions, Greenland shark, puffin, guinea pig, horse, and seal meat. These aren't popular in the U.S., for instance, for various reasons. Most notably for this thread is that these, with some exceptions, would be hard to scale, especially for the demand of them here.

While I would like to try more exotic foods, they're not that easy to come across.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

hot dogs are mustard vessels

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Am vegan. Did not like hot dog. Do not like vegan hot dog.

By the way, miso paste is a remarkable umami ingredient, and Vegetable Kingdom has some great plants-are-actually-delicious recipes.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

All possibilities

But this haiku obscured by

A vegan hotdog

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

6 syllables in first line. DISQUALIFIED!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thank fuck, I didn't want to be in this competition anyway!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thank the fucking lord

I didn't want to be in

This competition!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

This is why we're banned from the pottery barn..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

It could be slightly altered to fit:

possibilities
of a haiku obscured by
a vegan hotdog