I have had a tendency since my earliest days on social media where I will get halfway or more through a response, and end up just cancelling it. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being to over the top with snark or otherwise don’t want to be that kind of person, but a lot of the time I’ll decide I just really don’t care enough to finish it. Sometimes I just know it’ll be an argument and I know what the person is going to say, and just have no interest in continuing the discussion. I did it on Reddit, I did it on bulletin boards, I even did it in my teens and twenties on Usenet - and I’ll probably go on doing it for as long as I continue using this medium. I probably do it a bit more than half the time. I know that lemmy benefits from more content and I have had some great discussions, but sometimes it’s just not worth it for me.

How about you? Do you hit publish or cancel more often?

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[–] 61 points 2 years ago (1 child)

The irony is that there might have been a fair amount of replies to this, but people bailed on them. I guess we'll never know.

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    [–] 48 points 2 years ago (7 children)
  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago (6 children)
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  • [–] 39 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I cancel more often. Because who cares what I have to say? And sometimes I realize it's been more therapeutic to just type a comment out than it is to hit post and deal with people's potential responses.

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    [–] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Here I am writing my opinion, only to realise that many of you have already posted most of the valid points I was going to make. So now my comment is pretty much worthless and adds nothing to the discussion.

    I cancel most of the time, but today I'll open an exception to prove my point.

    Have you somehow become more enlightened by my post? Yeah, should have cancelled it.

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    [–] 16 points 2 years ago

    Congratulations on finishing this post!

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  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    It’s a good 70% of the time that I’ll cancel instead of post. As I’ve gotten older my desire to be right has greatly diminished when it comes to random people on the internet.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    This is how I feel, but it's closer to 95% of the time for me. I've been on the Internet since its inception and I don't have it in me to deal with people's bullshit anymore.

    I don't need to be heard. I don't need to be right. I only post for help I can't get elsewhere or to help others. On the rare occasion I deviate from that rule, I usually get a reply that makes me regret engaging.

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    [–] 13 points 2 years ago

    Like 95%. Almost cancelled this one before I erased most of it.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You'll be getting less answers from people who cancel more often. 😉

    I think I cancel my posts about 1 to 5 percent of the time. Usually when it gets longer and I notice that my brain is too stupid to continue. Sometimes also when I catch myself being a little bit too sarcastic.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Constantly cancel. It's rarely worth arguing with people here.

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    [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    Absolutely. Sometimes you know your post isn't going to do anything worthwhile. Sometimes you're just being a dick. Sometimes the other person is clearly not going to listen to you. Sometimes your post adds nothing of value. That kind of self reflection is a good thing IMO. I wish more people did it

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    There's a high barrier for me to even start typing a comment, but I try to contribute more on lemmy. Haven't really participated on social media in years. I guess about 20% of the time when I think I should comment I actually do it.

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    [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    40% I'd estimate, I tend to write very long and in depth comments and will realize either I dont care enough about the subject to finish my statement or argument point, or I'm likely being baited by someone who doesnt care about having a genuine exchange of ideas and just wants to be "right".

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    im so glad you asked this question. i cant tell you how many times i-

    actually never mind

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Quite often.

    I start organizing my thoughts by writing them down. Then I'll realize it's going to be impossible for me to succinctly yet accurately convey my point.

    If what I've written is too long or too convoluted, I don't bother posting it, as the intended audience is usually the least likely to actually read it. If what I've written has too many caveats or too many points of contention, I don't bother posting it because I generally don't have much interest in connecting with pedants or those being intentionally obtuse/ignorant/etc.

    Honestly, my experience has been that this place is mostly just a slightly different iteration of the same shit as the alternative it is modeled after when it comes to discourse. And I have minimal interest engaging in much of that. So, definitely more likely to lurk and/or to bail on a response than to actually post here.

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    [–] 9 points 2 years ago*

    I wrote out a comment to answer you but halfway through I decided that my opinion wasn't worthy of sharing on Lemmy so I deleted it and wrote this instead.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago

    My comments tend to be short enough that I've already written them and by that point I might as well submit.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago*

    All the time. Sometimes I'll write an entire wall of text, correct all the typos I could find and then delete it. "Why bother? This person is just not going to consider a different opinion, just save yourself the pointless discussion."

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  • [+] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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    [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Far less than on the other site. I've been trying to commit in order to grow the Fediverse, even if I've got a few garbage hot takes. I will say, my shit comments seem to get way more responses than my good ones.

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    [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Funny enough, I almost replied to a comment here and then deleted it.

    I've been trying to do it less since migrating to Lemmy because I recognize that the smaller userbase means that my interaction is more valuable, even if it's scary.

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    [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    depends. on political posts it's like 90% bail rate, because i get done typing a message and then realize i'm just feeding into the outrage machine.

    but on meme posts? maybe 10% bail rate, because lol

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Eh not that much. Who cares about points? I’ll edit my response if I mistyped or made it difficult to understand, but why not contribute to the convo? Again points matter way less here than on Reddit and even on Reddit it didn’t matter a whole bunch

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    About four words in

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    For me personally it's when discussing controversial topics, I know I'm right but I'm too lazy to get into an argument to elaborate on my points in detail.

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    [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Virtually every single response I type out gets canceled without posting. It's extremely rare that I actually feel good enough about a comment I'm making to actually post it. Even if I do make a comment I'll often come right back and delete it, or make a hundred rapid fire edits to it before usually deleting it anyway. That's how after 6 months here I've only made 5 total comments.

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    [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    Yeah that’s something I’d never do because it just seems

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)
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    [–] 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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    [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    A lot. Sometimes I have something to say but so afraid of ridicule I back out

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    I literally bailed while writing a comment on another post just to scroll down to this post next.

    So yea… all the time.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    i tend to be long-winded and i dont often have a good sense for what information is explicitly necessary, so i have started a fair few comments that ive lost steam on and convinced myself werent worth posting. i also have not participated in social media for about ten years, so i dont have the sense that i can just casually post something without it being particularly valid, but when i do post its after reassuring myself that what i say doesnt always have to be life-altering.

    so yea, probably 40% of the time i bail if i start thinking about it more than i should, which is easy to do when i have to proofread so much due to florisboard not having autocorrect.

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    [–] 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    here's me, posting 1 in every 10 comments I start writing.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Hahaha I saw this after bailing on another post. Like 80% of the time I think better of it. My comments tend to actually get posted when I'm in bed half asleep. Apparently I'm more willing to share when I'm mentally impaired from tiredness

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago
    [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Ok, so well I made this several weeks ago and well, you know…

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    [–] 5 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    I have a personality with a low neuroticism and a low conscientiousness, so I usually post.

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    [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Fairly often. I’ll get a sentence out and then

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Quite often, probably mostly because I have social anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I'm not adding anything meaningful to that conversation or that I'm probably not being as helpful as I initially think I am. I sometimes also have trouble putting my thoughts into words.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    50% of my messages here on Lemmy.

    I'd guess more like 25% of messages at work and 75% on the discord server I use with IRL friends are deleted without being posted.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Probably 50/50. Mostly because I don’t care enough to get in an argument or have to defend what I say.

    Simple throwaway comments, observations, generic opinion stuff I’ll just drop it and move on.

    Anything I’m really knowledgeable in though, I’ll start and then cancel because there’s always someone who wants to challenge and argue and it’s just exhausting.

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