You fool. Now that you've put this into the universe it'll end up as a romance novel and my wife will read it. You've doomed us all.

On the bright side, it might get her to power wash the patio.

Imagine how clean your pores would feel. Makes me want to try a waterpick on my face.

"Would you still love me if I were a slab of concrete?"

i want to know if there's a specific pressure that will cut hair but not skin. Or what's the maximum pressure human skin can handle,

want to be power washed.

For any humans curious about what that might feel like, try really cleaning your navel during your next shower.

Actually, please do that regardless. You can thank me later.

It would be the most amazing massage!

Yes please

🎶 If I were a slab of concrete
I'd never have to cry anymore 🎶

Could write a whole song around that