In the navy I hunted pirates in Somalia, now I'm enjoying my military disability pension.
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I make sure amazon workers don't go on pee breaks and I make sure to shut down any requests for company providing them with piss jugs.
Its hard work but I sleep well at night knowing I'm doing good in this world
I download cars.
Nice try, officer

This is pretty much it.
What the fuck did you just fucking ask about me, you little script kiddie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my community college helpdesk program, and I've been involved in numerous Vim vs Emacs debates on Reddit, and I have over 300 active torrents. I am trained in gorilla pentesting and I'm the top hacker in my entire IT department. You are nothing to me but just another end user. I will wipe your NAS device the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with asking that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of system admins across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your file system. You're fucking pwned, kid. I can RDP anywhere, anytime, and I can hack you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Nintendo Power Glove. Not only am I extensively trained in naked Dance Dance Revolution, but I have access to the entire arsenal of my IT department's T430 Thinkpads and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable computer off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" question was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn normie. I will DDOS all over your network card and you will drown in packets. You're fucking pwned, kiddo.
Suffer, mainly.
Antarctica's number one lumberjack
Unix system administrator at a small datacenter
My background is in networking and infosec, but my current work is in data engineering and automation.
like all other hexbear users, i'm a 
seeya at the watercooler
Funny enough I package software for installation on an enterprise network.
So I just do it legally now.
Retired.
I've had at least 23 jobs where I was on a payroll and paid taxes, and perhaps 5 or 6 cash jobs (longer than a month kinda thing).
I'm done, but always open to suggestion!
Geologist
Kennel tech (read poop scooper and dog walker) at the local animal shelter
I looked into volunteering at a local shelter and they wanted me to fill out a lengthy application along with 3 references. They were more selective than most paying jobs I've applied to.
A year ago I would have thought that was insane, but after working at a shelter i get why it's like that. When a volunteer fucks up, it's the dog that pays the price. Our volunteers are amazing and we appreciate every single one of them but we do need to be somewhat selective about who can handle these dogs that are in super vulnerable positions.
I'm on the supply side of the pro AV industry.. I supply a lot of film and TV productions...
Landlord.
Core network tech for a largely US-based but still global fiber backbone provider.
When automated manufacturing systems break, I'm the guy they call to fix it..
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