I wish people would get back to lying when I ask them how they're doing. The new "how're you?/"oh bad"/"oh what's wrong?"/"oh you know, just kinda everything" interchange annoys me because it's considered rude to then actually vent your spleen about the everything that is wrong. Either lie to me and say you're fine, or say you're bad and bring up a topic you want to discuss, but don't say you're bad and then expect me to ask no follow-up questions.

I'm old and now I know, no lie is worth it. Ever.

Being optimistic or pessimistic are ways of lying to our own selves.

When I am experiencing media which is a piece of fiction such as a book, movie or TV show.

None. Literally none. Sometimes I think people should keep their mouths shut and not say anything when it isn't necessary, but I don't want someone to lie to me for any reason whatsoever.

(People can say things that aren't true as jokes of course, those aren't lies.)

None, it assumes you don’t respect my ability to handle information.

Memetic hazards. Hands down no question, lie to me.

In situations where learning the true information would only cause me worry and stress, even though I'm powerless to do anything about it. For example, let's say my sister's dog has fallen ill and I'm on holiday somewhere. I'd rather be told that everything is fine and only learn about the truth when I came back.

Fun fact: Apparently, placebos work even if the patient knows that they're placebos. Looks like we have Pavlov-conditioned ourselves to getting pills prescribed.

I am a realist and (at least in intent) stoic, I prefer the truth.

The earlier comment about not wanting to know if you can’t do anything about it (sister’s dog is sick/died), I would prefer the truth, but I’m not going to let something I have no control over affect my presence.

To be honest, I don’t think anyone can be truly stoic (think Spock from Star Trek) 100% of the time, it works with fictional characters, but “I control y emotional response” is always more of a goal than the reality.

Hmm I really had to think hard about an example bc I would almost always prefer to be told the truth, e.g. if I had an incurable illness (I've seen my grandmother being lied to about her prognosis and it felt so disrespectful) or if I messed up something.

The only exception I could come up with is if it's like in a workplace meeting a question of "what do you think?" and the true answer would be like "that you're a bloody idiot" or "sorry I was just thinking of how hard I'm gonna fuck my partner tonight" or similar 😂

Lie about the little things that don't really matter. Forgot to do something but it shouldn't take long? Tell me you're just getting around to it or just got it done. Did I ask you to grab something but you didn't look? Tell me you couldn't find it.

These are inconsequential lies that don't hurt and doesn't invent a reality that has to be remembered. There is such a thing as too much honesty

None of course. What’s wrong with you?

I can't think of a single situation in which I would prefer to be lied to about.

When the ONS calls afterwards and says she's pregnant.

Sexual performance.

Afterlife as a child. Lie to me a day about that. You can either tell me that when dogs get very poorly they go to a farm far far away and they're happy, or you can tell me they're wormfood.

Give me the lie.

I'm not hearing it now that im an adult. Nobody knows so pick your favourite flavour of bollocks, but as a child, give me that sweet bullshit.