I wanted to give a try of coding but I am very impatient as well as the stuff I want to do requires is little bit ambitious for a beginner. It doesn't help that I easily procrastinate.

Doing the dishes, vacuuming, washing my car, mowing the lawn .. Pretty much any task that I can't just do once and be over with. Feels pointless to do stuff that I'll just need to do again in a few weeks or so.

mostly socialize.

i keep trying but basically I haven't had an enjoyable conversation in probably 6 years.

I'm kind of sick of just repeatedly hearing about other people's problems and them getting pissed off at me because I can't genuinely relate to them, at best I can just kind of fake it. I also don't subscribe to doomerism, which is basically all anyone wants to talk about apart from their personal problems.

I would like to be able to talk about movies or books or something. Feels like that type of conversation disappeared post pandemic. If I try to bring it up people just lecture me how they have no time for that and I need a second job if I have time for it.

I miss having constructive and interest conversations about non-personal things. Even online it is increasingly hard to find this stuff because it's just buried by the overwhelming mountain of lifestyle/wellness crap and product promotion, or political/social/celebrity gossip nonsense. And the format of those things is always someone weird condescending lecture or trying to make you anxious/insecure so you will buy their product... and so many people I know have internalized this mentality. And they act like you're the asshole if you aren't 'worried about toxins, you aren't chasing the latest fitness trend, or you aren't trying 'hack' life for more 'productivity'.

I would like to meet someone who is like 'oh cool you like to do X? what about it do you like?' etc. But I don't meet anyone who ever engages in this way anymore, and I notice when I try to engage people that way they get really weirded out, like taking an interest in them is offensive. or they will immediately change the topic to some personal issue they want to bitch about and ask me for advice on... even when I'm a complete stranger. like, why are you asking some random dude at a bar for career/family/health advice? and getting angry when he doesn't have some bullshit answer? so bizarre.

everything

Shaving, showering, applying for jobs.. yeah, it might just be clinical depression and not being tired lol 🤷🏽

In-law cookouts. Not sure what it is about them but it's a bit exhausting talking with so many people and the constant code-switching is tiresome bro

Edit: Thinking more on it, just about any situation where I'm inclined to code switch is tiresome

You can just...not?

I love Halloween so I decorate, but we're not religious so we don't celebrate most holidays. I guess you could say I don't do it because I'm tired? Tired of doing rituals I don't enjoy that have no meaning to us.

We have our own traditions that we look forward to, so it's not a life without joy and wonder. It just looks different!

I know it's a me thing, and Im glad everyone enjoys their traditions. Keep it up and enjoy!

But I just don't get it. Decorate so you can tear it down in a week. Waste money on feasts and decor and gifts that nobody wanted to begin with. I just can't get into it. Seems foolish and wasteful.

Finding excuses to celebrate is the essence of life#

Sleep