Not an American but lived there for some time. Just tip. It's how these servers survive. Your not tipping helps nothing.

There's an expression: When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Sure, you can visit other countries and refuse to respect local customs, but that's an awfully American attitude. You're not one. Be better.

If someone hasn't put in any time or effort specifically catering to you ( like a server )

Refuse

You can absolutely refuse. Be prepared for people to react badly though.

You know the older I get the more I realise that the only thing the US has in common with other English speaking countries is the language. It's like the US is behind the rest of the world or in some cases does completely opposite, then trys to force their way of thinking or standards on everyone else

At least in the U.S.. Tipping culture is massively inefficient, unfair and tragically codified into law. It should be abolished in every sense of the word.

But... having said that, I can't say "don't tip". Yes the customer is being guilted into subsidizing a workers wage, but NOT tipping directly hurts the worker that we all agree should be making more then what's agreed. It sucks but there is no action customers can take that will result in service members being paid more. The problem is too far rampant and ingrained. It would take a herculean legal rework, massive ad campaigns and decades to fully end.

So unfortunately, because it is the norm and all employees and employers plan on it, my answer is yes you have to tip.

Tipping culture in the US is so intense that I tend not to eat out at all when I'm there, which hasn't been in half a decade now. I hear it's gotten worse since I left.

And, with digital tipping especially it irks me because I hate paying a card company a cut on money for service workers.

I'm surprised people are so flippant about this. In the US, tipping is legally optional but socially mandatory in many situations, especially with wait staff at a restaurant. So while you could opt not to tip, you'll definitely ruffle some feathers if you don't.

You don’t have to tip ever. For those who don’t know, if a server doesn’t make at least minimum wage off of tips then the employer must make up the difference. So at minimum they will get minimum wage, not nothing.

This is with regards to the US restaurant/food service industry only, as that is where my experience lies. It is exceptionally rare (though it is getting better) to go to a restaurant and pay what it actually costs to put that plate of food in front of you. There is an assumption that the price on the menu is enough to cover the total cost of the plate, however this is generally not the case. Often it is enough to cover everything except for an amount that would bring the staff wages to a sustainable level (generally allowing for a not insignificant cut going to the owner, and another cut going to the landlord), which means that tips are required in order to keep staff in the restaurant. I’m not saying this is a good/bad practice, I am just stating how it usually works. Customers who are not willing to pay more for a plate when ordering are often willing to pay an additional fee (tip) for the perceived added value of “service.” There are always people who will only ever pay the bare minimum and won’t tip. There are always people who are generous and appreciate the plight of the food service worker in the US and always tip. These two types often balance in the favor of the worker in the long run, if not on a daily basis. And the average customer tipping the generally accepted average percentage keeps things afloat.

This is the system we have in the US. It has functioned for a long time to provide both the owners and workers a livable income. Do I think this is a healthy practice for a thriving society? No. Am I trapped by the society I exist in and have very little personal ability to combat? Yes. But of the few ways I have to combat this, taking money away from the workers so that it only goes to the owners is not a tool I chose to use.

Instead I prefer to spend my money at places that are actively working to upend this practice: worker owned restaurants, co-ops, places that pay a livable wage and discourage tipping, etc., but I’m not about to punish those that are also trapped by the system. I am more than happy to name and shame owners who don’t treat their employees with respect, nor do I believe that non-worker owners should be a thing, period.

But to not tip is a form of protest that only hurts those most punished by the system, and does absolutely nothing to impact the people who are perpetrating the system. Basically it is the most ineffectual thing one can do.

If you really want to hit ‘em where it hurts, do something that actually hurts the owner’s bottom line… Like publicly shaming the business owners greediness by writing a low score review that praises the workers, food & service while calling out the owners for not paying their employees a livable wage. Or being in cahoots with the servers and getting items comped in exchange for a larger tip (effectively paying the worker instead of the owner). There are ways, you just have to find them. Just don’t kick the already down workers in doing so.

Edit to add: I wrote this while riding the bus home at the end of my workweek (6 doubles at 3 restaurants so no overtime for me, yaaaaaayyyy), so please excuse any non-sequiturs, idiosyncrasies, unconnected thoughts or errors as being due to my deliriously exhausted mental state.

It can be confusing in the US because almost every point of sale system asks for a tip now. As a general rule, if you are paying before you consume your food then no tip is required. If you are paying after you have been served and eaten, then a tip is socially expected: 10% for "poor" service, 15% for average, and 20%+ for exceptional service. Not tipping is also an option, but largely considered "A Dick Move" by most people. If your transaction does not involve eating a meal then tipping should not be part of the transaction.

There are of course exceptions and edge cases, but this should cover you 97% of the time.

your allowed to had cash to anyone you like. tips are not mandatory but wait people are paid under the minimum wage in some cases legally. Many major cities are reversing this but there is a thing known as the sub minimum wage here.

We extended our “you have to tip because servers don’t get paid a real wage” logic beyond servers to all public facing work. The university aged people think it’s impolite not to tip when it’s available because they know those workers are underpaid and companies are happy to provide the option. Thus a new norm is born!

You are never obliged to tip, legally.

Tips are for situations where a service worker is selling their labor to you directly without an intermediary; the tip allows you to in turn pay them directly without the managerial class taking a cut.

If tips are really tips then it's optional. Mandatory payments are called fees or tax on top of goods and services.

It's all the damn buttons. When the US got the same chip technology that Europe had, and all those little portable machines became commonplace here, they had to put tip buttons on all of them, and then everyone started using them for everything.

The only time you should feel obligated to tip in the US is in a sit-down restaurant, where the waiter takes your order and brings you your food. If you sit through the whole meal and don't leave a tip, the waiter will think they've done something wrong, as some of their hourly pay is expected to be covered by tips. But no matter what the buttons say, 15% is sufficient, and 20% is generous.

Getting takeout from the same place? Tips are not necessary. I sometimes leave 5% if I like the place. But since there's no 5% button, I take the time to do the mental math and enter the amount whe paying.

Fast food? A concessions stand at a ballgame? You are under zero obligation to leave any tip, no matter what the buttons say.

Are you in Switzerland?