I don't need a survey for that.

Spaghetti, straight until it gets wet

"Select Your Dream Bedroom To Discover What Type of Tampon You Are"

Those are nefarious data collecting mechanisms, not good to do them.

Well, what kind of pasta are you?! This is important!

Where's the survey link, OP???

I am a tortalone

I am a linguine.

I never understood how anyone found those remotely interesting. Maybe they're just supposed to be funny but... I don't know. I don't get it. Always just seemed like taking an assortment of questions and stretching the implications of one's answers to the point of incredulity in order to shoehorn them into one of the set outcomes.

Like a choose your own adventure book where the outcomes only have the faintest connection to your choices.

Well, first of all, it has to be alliterative with your name, so I'll need that. First and last, please.

And nothing invented after you were born, like Cascatelli, so give me your birthday.

I'll need your social security number to verify you're legally allowed to be assigned a pastadentity.

Last thing is your home address, to take any regional or cultural influences into account. You might look like a papardelle but actually be a tagliatelle!

Judt sign up with your email at the end so they can show you your results ...on the webpage.