"Probably, but I have several questions."

• Were you always a doorknob, or is this some kind of witch's curse situation?
• If you were always a doorknob, how did we meet and what was our first date like?
• If this is some curse, what did you do that warranted polymorphism, and how do we change you back. (Would you even want to go back?)
• Could I be cursed to be the door that you're installed in?
• How would intimacy work between us? I'm simply not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into this
• Being presumably immortal as a doorknob, or at the very least having a much longer lifespan than us mortals, how would you move on after old age claims me?

I'd love you better as a doorknob...

turns out to be the wrong answer, and I can't find the undo button 😞

This unironically my favorite paparazzi photo of all time. It’s entirely relatable on so many levels and I feel like I’m in his shoes.

Is there a keyhole?

‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’

That's not the face I'd make.

It would be a face of mild amusement and care as I pulled her into my arms to tell her:

"Yes, baby, I'd love you even if you were a doorknob. You'd be the most beautiful doorknob in the world to me. I'd even have to hire a butler to open all the doors in front of me because you would be the only doorknob I'd ever want to hold in my hand."

Because at the end of the day, coming home to reassure the person you love is a simple and gracious act and is worth every hour of any 14 hour shift.

It's cool, the doorknob can still peg you if you're motivated.

When has this ever happened to anyone?

No. What kind of sick fuck loves a doorknob?

Mad at me for a week. Tells every friend and family member that I don’t love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. Brings it up at my funeral…

my gf asked what would happen if she woulbecome sone dune worm monster instead. im like "the physical attraction would probably go away, but i would keep in touch cause that would be so rad". she looked at me, and kinda wanted to laugh and be mad at me, but instead she let it go 😅

"Ha ha ha... That's a really interesting question because you, as things currently stand, are definitely not a doorknob?"

Wife bad

Haha women am I right?

I’ve got one, “When you’re back home after a 24 hour nursing shift and your bf hits you”

Throwback to a totally unqualified health class sub telling a bunch of preteens:

"You know why they call some girls dooknobs? Cause everybody gets a turn."

lay off the salvia girl

"If you were a doorknob, I'd start drinking heavily... so that way we can get turnt together."

This question is less hypothetical than you think.

Well, at least I could unscrew a doorknob

That's why you don't date nurses...

/S

“So what you are saying is any Tom,Dick, or Harry that comes to the door gets a turn?”