my gf asked what would happen if she woulbecome sone dune worm monster instead. im like "the physical attraction would probably go away, but i would keep in touch cause that would be so rad". she looked at me, and kinda wanted to laugh and be mad at me, but instead she let it go 😅
That's not the face I'd make.
It would be a face of mild amusement and care as I pulled her into my arms to tell her:
"Yes, baby, I'd love you even if you were a doorknob. You'd be the most beautiful doorknob in the world to me. I'd even have to hire a butler to open all the doors in front of me because you would be the only doorknob I'd ever want to hold in my hand."
Because at the end of the day, coming home to reassure the person you love is a simple and gracious act and is worth every hour of any 14 hour shift.
You would also polish the door knob every day...
Lame. Next.
Nah, sappy yes, but I only laid it on thick in response to the OP who been spamming misogynistic boomer jokes.
Bro oughta take that shit somewhere else.
"Probably, but I have several questions."
You forgot the most important question of all: in this scenario, am I also a doorknob? It turns out that solves a lot of the other issues...
Are we on the same door or houses across the street?
We are destined to forever see one another yet never to touch again... wow, shit got dark quick!
Ah, I can answer #5:
drops my pants and backs up to the doorknob this is for you, babe... all that knot training is going to finally pay off
You could always incorporate the door knob anally.
Adding to that last one;
Are you an antique door knob or cheap one that will fail in 10 years?
Could I be cursed to be the door that you're installed in?
That sounds kinky as fuck.
You’d have to watch everyone as they take her for a turn
Mmm I'm listening
Not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into dat ass?
I'd love you better as a doorknob...
turns out to be the wrong answer, and I can't find the undo button 😞
Have you tried jiggling her a little? Or maybe lift while turning?
Try some WD-jelly
I can stick a doorknob in my ass.
What, then everyone can touch you! I'm okay with that, if it's what you want. Wait, why are you mad? What did I say? How am I in trouble for trying to make you happy? You asked the question, I'm just being supportive...
Wife bad
This unironically my favorite paparazzi photo of all time. It’s entirely relatable on so many levels and I feel like I’m in his shoes.
Give back his shoes 😡
You made my day.
It’s so funny. I’m wondering if Affleck knows about it’s popularity
Ah ok so it's not from a movie. I was wondering that.
"If you were a doorknob, I'd start drinking heavily... so that way we can get turnt together."
When has this ever happened to anyone?
Depending on your interpretation it literally happened to me. Long Covid has me tied to my bed 24/7. I have even less to contribute to my family than a door knob. But my wife still loves me.
Coming home after a long day only to deal with your partner's emotional insecurities that have built up over the day and morphed in sometimes weird forms? Enough times.
It's a daily thing for me, but I knew about her anxiety when I married her.
Is there a keyhole?
It's cool, the doorknob can still peg you if you're motivated.
If it's one of those handle type door knobs you're in for a wild ride 💦💦💦.
‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’
No. What kind of sick fuck loves a doorknob?
Mad at me for a week. Tells every friend and family member that I don’t love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. Brings it up at my funeral…
Haha women am I right?
I’ve got one, “When you’re back home after a 24 hour nursing shift and your bf hits you”
"Ha ha ha... That's a really interesting question because you, as things currently stand, are definitely not a doorknob?"
Throwback to a totally unqualified health class sub telling a bunch of preteens:
"You know why they call some girls dooknobs? Cause everybody gets a turn."
Well that's really fucked up
lay off the salvia girl
This question is less hypothetical than you think.
Well, at least I could unscrew a doorknob
“So what you are saying is any Tom,Dick, or Harry that comes to the door gets a turn?”
That's why you don't date nurses...
/S
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
