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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Asexual-Dragon-Girl on 2026-08-02 20:54:19+00:00.

So I, 17F, work at an outdoor pool as a lifeguard. I also teach piano lessons part time during the summer, and somehow still go to the gym and see my friends. My pools name is Albert Cross Schooly Pool (First two words are fake, but “schooly pool” is important for story purposes).

Yesterday I was at work doing a 9 Hour shift, (12:00-9:00), and the night before I had only gotten around 5 hours of sleep. We were on heat alert where I live, and my coworkers and I were all exhausted, sweaty, and mentally drained by the time 9:00 rolled around.

Now, to close the pool, we have a PA system. One of us has to do a small message around the lines of: “Attention Albert Cross Schooly Pool Swimmers, the pool is now closing. Please exit the pool and have a good evening”. On this particular night, I decided to do the closing message.

That was a bad idea.

Tiredly, thinking about nothing but wanting to go home, I say with full confidence into the mic:

“Attention Albert Cross Pooly School Swimmers-“

Then I realize my mistake. Around the same time as all my coworkers start laughing. I start laughing too, in my heat induced delirium, and of course, I forget to turn off the mic. For a solid thirty seconds, the swimmers at the pool heard nothing but ten lifeguards laughing their asses off.

One of my coworkers then takes the mic from me and does the closing message because I’m laughing too hard. I have a feeling they won’t be letting me forget this anytime soon.

TLDR: I shouldn’t have a microphone when I’m tired, I can’t speak proper English apparently