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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/OrionsRebirth on 2026-05-23 19:05:44+00:00.

My wife is pregnant and she is a saint. Shes done everything for me and turned my life around. She supported me when I was just a POS without a job. Shes shown me what family means.

She is so strong and she works so hard even while pregnant and I try to get her to slow down but she won't.

We even spent the last two weekends ripping out the carpet and painting our sons nursery to get prepared. My wife had this old snow globe that looked like a duck in a bathtub that she got from her mother as a little girl. As I was moving the furniture back into our sons nursery after we finished painting it fell and broke. She broke down and shes pissed and I cant blame her.

I looked everywhere for one and the only place I can find it to buy (and its not even the same, its a cheap replacement) is in Singapore and it won't ship to the US.

I dont know how to make it right. Ive apologized it just meant so much to her.

I really hate myself so much right now

TL;DR: Broke my wifes favorite present from her mom as a little girl and dont know how to fix it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NapalmStiks2Kids on 2026-05-23 17:20:00+00:00.

Me (M32) and my wife (F30) just had our 5 year wedding anniversary yesterday. My plan was to have a professional tune her family piano since it said so out of tune, many of the keys only make a clunk. There is only one guy in town who can tune pianos so I went with him. Unfortunately, the guy won't be able to make it out until the next weekend. I still hoped to keep it a surprise but when my wife mentioned wanting to go out that day, I told her I'd have to stay at home because the piano is getting tuned. She immediately looked like a cat with its hair standing and asked by who so I told her it was the local guy. Apparently, they had this same guy tune the same piano nearly 20 years ago and the freak stole the finished mahogany plank from the top of the piano bench and replaced it with plywood. My in-laws are famously doormats of people so they never pursued anything but that's why the piano hasn't been tuned in so long. I still want to get the piano tuned as our son is showing an interest in it but I'm going to have to watch this guy like a hawk to make sure he doesn't run off with anything.

TL:DR: I unknowingly hired a kleptomaniac to tune my wife's piano and now I'm going to spend my Saturday morning watching him to make sure he doesn't run off with anything.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AmeliaS507 on 2026-05-23 13:18:23+00:00.

I was recommended to post this here, as my original post https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/s/TEcfwEeZ7W on [r/weird](r/weird) was deleted by the mods to the dismay of many.

So, the original title of my post was “why do ants love my jasper?”

*Original body text: I don’t understand. I was going to clean my windowsill and found like 6 ants on my Jasper.

The crazy thing is I cleaned my windowsill earlier today and there were ants on it then too! I cleaned them off. Now there are more. It’s so strange.

This is a tiny nugget I found at the crater of diamonds state park in Arkansas back in 2019. I’ve had it for years. It’s never attracted ants before. I am so confused???*

It was only after many kind people gently letting me know that my rock was not, in fact, a rock, that I should attempt to figure out what this thing was!

I ended up soaking it in water, which caused the ‘rock’ to lose its red color and become squishy. I became suspicious. So I stuck my fingernail in it and tore it in half.

Then, despite many people begging me to lick or eat it, I smelled it.

Upon smelling it, this was my reaction:

*Update I smelled it. It’s a fucking black licorice jelly bean. I’ve been carrying around a jelly bean covered in Arkansas dirt for 7 years under the impression it was a rock. I hate this. I hate life. I hate myself.*

I then had the *actual* rock located, which was similar in color and size, at my parents house. Sometime when I was moving, I must’ve grabbed a jelly bean instead of the actual rock and by assuming it was what I thought it was, never questioned it. So it sat on my windowsill for six months. It had never attracted ants before, because the weather had been cool. But it warmed up over the past few days and the ants swarmed it, which made me curious. So I snapped a photo and put it up on r/weird. And realized in front of 10,000 people what I thought was my beloved jasper was actually a crusty old jelly bean.

TL;DR I kept what I *thought* was a piece of jasper on my windowsill for six months only to discover it was actually a black licorice jelly bean. I thought ants were swarming it because of some weird science rock reaction. I’m an idiot 😭

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AurelPine on 2026-05-23 05:37:50+00:00.

Please tell me HR can't fire me for a typo, because I am currently hyperventilating.

Our team has been stuck on a massive project bottleneck for three days. We were all exhausted, working late, and typing furiously on our team group chat. My boss sent a long message saying, "Guys, we are so close to figuring this out. We just need one good breakthrough to finally close this project."

I wanted to reply and say, "Agreed, I am so hungry for a breakthrough! Let's push through!"

However, I was typing with one hand while eating a slice of pizza with the other. My thumb slipped. I didn't check autocorrect. I just hit send.

What I actually typed was: "Agreed, I am so horny for a breakthrough! Let's push through!"

I didn't notice it until my coworker immediately sent me a private message saying, "Bro??? Check the main chat right now."

I looked. It had been read by everyone. My boss, a very serious, no-nonsense woman, replied with a single text: "Let's keep the enthusiasm strictly professional, please."

I tried to reply with "HUNGRY*** I MEAN HUNGRY" but the damage was done. The word "horny" is now forever immortalized in our official corporate chat history. I want to jump into a volcano.

TL;DR: Tried to tell my team I was "hungry for a breakthrough" during a late-night work crisis, made a horrific typo, and told my boss and the entire department that I was "horny for a breakthrough" instead.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Xxpinkgalaxykidxx on 2026-05-23 03:50:14+00:00.

So I work at a historic site, and we do a lot of living history, ie (the dressing up and spinning wool type of stuff.) So I am used to seeing my coworkers in costume, but never visitors.

Anyway, I am working outside on some yard work when I see two little girls wearing these old fashioned dresses, which look like they are from the 1910s. The site is Victorian era, but whatever. They are accompanied by their father, who is dressed normally. I think “hey these kids must be really engaged with history!” So I go up to them and say, “wow you all must love history so much, you dressed up in historic clothes to come to our site! Have you enjoyed it so far?” Dad and kids stare at me blankly for a second, before saying “no, we’re just in town for a meeting.” Enter my utter confusion. I just say oh ok, and ask them where they are from, but wonder in the back of my mind why they didn’t address the elephant in the room. I made brief small talk until a woman came up from behind me, and kissed the dad. And this woman was wearing these old fashioned exact same type of clothes, but also one of those white dome bonnets the Amish wear.

Well shit. “I’ve just insulted these people” I think. I quickly make a hasty goodbye and get out of these, stewing in my all consuming shame.

However in my defense, they were bad Amish. They drove a car and watched the site film. Also, Daddy Amish didn’t have the beard or hat. Lock in buddy! Anyway, please enjoy my embarrassment.

TLDR: I insulted an Amish child!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Elizzzkaaa on 2026-05-22 22:41:27+00:00.

This happened tonight. My boyfriend and I arrived at his place, and as we were driving into the underground garage, we saw his dad walking into a store next to the house. So we assumed we had the apartment to ourselves.

We went upstairs, opened the door, and walked in. Everything seemed completely normal and quiet.

Already inside the apartment, I said to my boyfriend (much louder than I should have):

“I am begging you to fuck me, and you don’t want to.”

Not even two seconds later, in the dead silence, the sound of a flushing toilet echoed through the apartment.

My entire brain just shut down.

I instantly realized his dad must have come home almost immediately after we saw him outside. I panicked, yelled “No, no, no!” and sprinted into the bedroom like a terrified cartoon character.

I have been hiding under the blanket ever since, trying to process what happened and wishing time could rewind.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend is laughing his ass off.

I, on the other hand, am absolutely mortified and have no idea how I’m supposed to look his dad in the eye ever again. I might actually stay in this room forever.

TL;DR: Told my boyfriend I wanted him very loudly, thinking we were alone. His dad was actually home and heard everything.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CertainlyNotKnew on 2026-05-22 20:39:53+00:00.

Not much else to say. I’m (29M) a fidgety person and have had many close calls with sticking my fingers and knees into small spaces, but today I got curious and had an intrusive thought and now my pinky is stuck stuck in a glass bottle.

I’m afraid to break it because I might cut myself. I’ve been jammed up for like twenty minutes and starting to panic haha. I have no idea why I pushed it so hard in there, it was very obvious my knuckle was too fat to fit but if anything I’m a stubborn person. I tried soap but I couldn’t get the part that’s stuck slippery enough to have it slide out.

Any ideas?????? Also, has anyone else ever gotten stuck at an unacceptable age or am I just inordinately dumb?

TL;DR I am too old but I am stuck in a bottle and cannot remove it

EDIT- UPDATE- I am free. A friend came over with a hammer and we chipped away at the problem. Then I swore her to secrecy. Seriously if anyone else had a stuck story please share it so I don’t feel this bad about myself. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!!!!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/QuickGuava6759 on 2026-05-22 18:44:41+00:00.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's at 9 years old. For the next 16 years I described my symptoms the way anyone would "I'm exhausted all the time," "I can't lose weight no matter what I do," "my brain fog is really bad." every appointment I left with nothing. I genuinely thought I was bad at explaining myself. Or that I was exaggerating. Or that this was just what life felt like and everyone else was pushing through it too.

Then I started actually reading how doctors document symptoms in charts. And I realized I had been speaking the wrong language my entire life.

Doctors are trained to respond to:

• Duration
• Pattern
• What you've already ruled out
• One specific ask

When I started framing my symptoms that way "I have had progressive fatigue for 3 years that worsens in the second half of my cycle and doesn't improve with sleep" instead of "I'm really tired" appointments started going differently. I've since started helping other women do the same thing before their appointments especially women with thyroid issues, PCOS, and hormonal conditions that tend to get dismissed.

TL;DR getting my communication up in doctor form changed my life

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/thirdaccountttt on 2026-05-22 16:51:56+00:00.

ok so me and my friend had this stupid argument yesterday. not even a proper argument. one of those awkward half-arguments where nobody is screaming but both people are clearly annoyed and then it just ends weird

so today i decide im gonna be mature. huge mistake already

i open my phone and start trying to work out what to say because i didn’t want to sound dramatic but i also didn’t want to sound like i didn’t care. so im pacing around my room like an absolute idiot saying different versions out loud

“look bro i think yesterday came out wrong”

no too formal

“nah yesterday was weird and i don’t want it to become a thing”

too casual

“i value the friendship”

immediately wanted to launch myself out the window

anyway i decide to record myself saying it so i can hear if it sounds normal. i THOUGHT i was using voice memos

i was not using voice memos

i was in the actual whatsapp chat with him

i had been holding the little mic button and sending every single cursed draft directly to him

nine voice notes

NINE

including one where i literally whispered “why do i sound like im breaking up with him” and then sighed for about six seconds

he replied with one message

“are you done rehearsing or should i wait for the final version?”

i have never wanted to bury a phone in the garden more in my life

the worst part is he said the third one was probably the best, which means he listened to them like an apology album

TL;DR tried to practise an apology using voice notes, accidentally sent all 9 drafts to the person i was apologising to, including commentary on how stupid i sounded

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fall_Factor on 2026-05-22 14:51:14+00:00.

TL:DR Purchased plane ticket for a family vacation to the wrong city and did not noticed it till the day before of plane ride.

This tifu did not happen today. An "a" was replaced by a misspelled "e" caused an epic travel tifu. Instead of a small city in Europe, I purchased a plane ticket for a Caribbean island destination. The mistake was noticed a day before the travel. The only way to correct the situation was to purchase an expensive one way ticket to the correct destination followed by another expensive Uber ride for four hours. The cab ride was scenic but the Euro hit us hard on the wallet. Wife and me are seasoned travellers but this f'up was so embarrassing that we did not tell that to anyone- not even to my teenage kid. We do plan to tell him the truth someday.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AsparagusOk9001 on 2026-05-22 02:26:26+00:00.

I (24f) work retail and have a script that I follow pretty much every time I interact with a customer. When I approach them I say “is there something I can help you find today?” If they respond with a no, I will reply with “okay well if that changes just let me know”. So today I walked up to a woman and asked her if there was something I could help her find. She responded by saying “no, I’m with him” and pointed towards her boyfriend as he was walking to the bathroom. I respond with my automatic script that I use with virtually every customer, and say “okay, if that changes just let me know” 🤦‍♀️ she didn’t respond and I ran away immediately and we didn’t speak again. It doesn’t help that I am a masc presenting woman and look very very gay (which I am).

I called my girlfriend and confessed my sins and she thought it was absolutely hilarious. If anyone could make me feel better in the comments by telling their own story of when they misspoke to make me feel better that would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR my automatic retail script ended in me telling a woman that if she broke up with her boyfriend then to let me know.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ElectronicTurnover51 on 2026-05-22 01:05:42+00:00.

Original post here https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/KBxU0dm1NJ

Some details altered for anonymity, I have no idea if he uses the site tbh

Me (30F) Him (30M)

Back on my first post, several people asked for a romantic update when it all worked out, but that’s unfortunately not really how it went.

We started hanging out a lot more, and I thought I had finally found a real partner to experience life and adventures with. I asked him out for a real date to a nice restaurant in a very romantic major city near us and it went great, we started dating for a few months.

The cracks started to show pretty damn quick though. On our second official date, he broke out the “I love you” in front of my whole family. I was weirded out, but tried to give a nice response to not make it weird, even if I had no intention of saying it back since I felt like we barely knew each other. That one earned me a whole essay via text the next day about why I didn’t say it back, if I’m taking the relationship seriously, etc. I felt like we cleared it up after though, and moved on.

So, Im stuck renting a bedroom from family since my career is more “feel good about doing a service for humanity” rather than “make a living wage.” That means that the logistics of having someone over constantly is complicated. But I made sure to make time and space to have him over at least once a week. A few times it didn’t work out because of schedules and car/work/family stuff, but I wasn’t really worried about it since it was only maybe 2-3 weeks out of 4 months that we didn’t see each other. That also got me a giant text rant about how “it sucks [I] don’t make more time” for him. Once again I tried to communicate myself out of that issue, and we once again seemed to return to normal.

Then, he escalated. Not even a week after the last issue, I got several rapid fire calls from him in the middle of my work day. I work at a job that I really can not disengage from easily, depending on the situation. If I step away, it puts a lot more work on my coworkers. I already had to step away MUCH more than I would ever want to around that time because my car got damaged in a minor accident, and I was fielding calls from my insurance and the mechanic nonstop for a few weeks. So when I see I have 3 missed calls from my boyfriend and step away because I think it’s an emergency, and it turns out he just freaked out thinking “something happened to me” because I didn’t respond to a single text from an hour ago, I was naturally a little fucking miffed.

Unfortunately, that still wasn’t exactly where I bailed. We had a long talk after the call fiasco, which mostly ended up with him, quite literally, begging for my forgiveness like he was a medieval serf. I told him in no uncertain terms that I literally never want someone to feel like they have to beg me for fucking anything, and that’s not how an equal partnership works. He was so mystified by that concept that he said he needed to go think on it for a while. And he said something about how this is how his relationship with his mom worked, which also freaked me the fuck out even if I applaud the self reflection. I don’t know what conclusion he landed on though, because by this point I knew I had to get the hell out.

He took the breakup pretty well, considering I was bracing for the absolute worst with the anxious-attachment issues I had observed thus far. I still feel bad because I really don’t think he’s a bad person, but I told myself years ago i could not do the “fixing the people i date” thing ever again. I saw my future flash before my eyes, and it was him reliving his relationship with his mother through me while he matures past teenage baggage :/

So now I’m back to being sad and alone, but at least I’m sad and alone without the constant anxiety of setting off an adult man’s mental health crisis because I turned off my phone for a movie or something.

TL;DR - The guy was nice but a fuckin mental health mess and I broke up with him within a few months

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/EchidnaDull on 2026-05-20 19:01:09+00:00.

I (30M) have been struggling to find a job for the past few months and by luck managed to get a job at a soon to be open hotel. So far my coworkers and boss have been wonderful which has been a relief as my last job was the opposite. Because of this I wanted to make a good impression with my boss. I want to note as well that during these past few months my depression had been on the rise and I had packed on a decent amount of weight. I have been a bit tight with money so I haven’t bought any new clothes. For the most part all of my clothes still fit but some of them are a bit tight. Onto where I fucked up.

My boss came out of her office and saw some boxes that needed to be moved. Upon trying to move them she put them back down as she had grabbed one too many. I said to her, “Let me give you a hand with those.” I grab some of the boxes and we start heading for the opposite end of the hotel. We enter this massive banquet hall where some of the hotel staff are currently present in and we then proceed to take the boxes to the opposite end of the room. I am in front of my boss and she gestures that we can place the boxes on the floor. Upon bending down and placing them on the floor I hear a light tearing sound. I looked down and the jeans I was wearing had torn at my crotch. This was not a slight tear where it wasn’t noticeable, no my underwear was completely exposed. Taking in what had just happened I went over the game plan in my head. First of all I am in front of my boss so she hasn’t seen what has taken place which is good. Secondly I have a coat in my car that I can tie around my waist to cover the massive hole. Now onto the bad, there is a group of about 7 or 8 people standing in the middle of an open room so there is no hope of metal gearing my way out of this mess. I realize my only option is to to walk past them and hope with every fiber of my being that all of them are so deep in conversation that none of them will notice the structural failure of my pants. Initially I thought I was home free until I saw one of them directly at me with the widest smile on his face. The look of dread on my face must have been palpable. Thankfully he never called attention to it and I made my way back across the hotel. I can hope no one else saw what happened but given how big the tear was they likely did. I just hope my boss never finds out. I hope dude bro keeps my secret.

TL;DR: Got a new job and tried to make a good impression with my boss. Pants tore at the crotch after moving boxes in front of boss. Hope boss didn’t notice.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/vegetasaiyann on 2026-05-21 13:46:26+00:00.

This girl sent me a follow request from a private account with like 400 followers and just regular posts. She was cute so i replied to her story about some coffee she was drinking and she replied back and we just started talking.

She was actually fun to talk to man,we were texting regularly. Three weeks of this and I was smiling at my phone like an idiot for THREE WEEKS

so i asked her to get coffee and this mf sent me a selfie of himself (a grown ah man btw) that "buoy relax m a dude 😭"

I literally sat there staring at my phone for a minute straight.

Apparently the whole account was his "experiment" ,why would someone do that i mean .Every photo was ai generated or face swapped, the videos were ai generated too . I dont know how he managed to send voice notes tho,if he didnt send me any vn i surely would have smelled something is wrong.

The worst part is i went back through all the posts knowing the truth and i can barely tell,maybe 2-3 photos where the lighting looks slightly off but yes you wont be able to tell if its fake.

I always thought people who fell for ai generated profiles were dumb, like how can you not tell man

And now i m the dumb one

i haven't told my friends, if by anychance i tell the boys about this they will bully me till my deathbed.

anyway the internet is fully cooked and i don't trust anything anymore

TL;DR:fell for an ai girl,which turned out to be a dude,AND I AM DUMB AF

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CarefulFriendship389 on 2026-05-21 05:27:02+00:00.

A few months ago I woke up to my right Index finger being frozen in it’s position, I had to physically move it with my other hand to release it I’ve never experienced anything like it(I’m 40yrs old), it felt like my knuckle was a warped hinge that was would have to work it past to open the finger all the way and it would also completely freeze up if I closed my finger completely it would just stay that way, well for weeks it would stiffen up especially after waking up, shortly after I was celebrating at my brothers wedding and overheard one of his buddies literally mentioning the same symptom in his finger before he had surgery, in my case for me anyways I narrowed it down to when I started sleeping on my stomach with my right arm underneath me, in such a way I was practically dislocating my shoulder out of its socket and causing it to go to sleep(I swear it helped me sleep better) but it was cutting off the circulation causing my whole arm to “go to sleep” which I think led to my finger issue, its what I figure, I’ve started sleeping differently and after a few weeks my finger is back to normal.

TL;DR: after sleeping for a year in a position that starved my limb of blood it nearly led to permanent nerve damage.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/UpiaVT on 2026-05-21 03:19:56+00:00.

A week or so ago, I, curiously, offered my cat french bread from wally world. I do this often to give a chace to smell stuff as I love food, and i chose to think he might too.

Shocking. He took it!...then another....and another...

"Ok enought bread!"

But...then he stopped being near me.

Ive been so upset. Worried for a week ish now he just lays in the livivng room not even in the ac. I had no idea why.... until just now. The bread molded so i threw it out and went and sat and saw him...eating the carpet? So i got up to stop him and...Its dried bread he hadent eaten-

Hes been laying in the living room...where the bread loafs were....because he wanted bread.

So next month he will get his bread. Hes not sick I dont think.... he just wants fucking french bread!

Tldr: this mf cat wasent sick he just wants freaking french bread!!!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Stopdying2112 on 2026-05-21 07:23:32+00:00.

So I had an interview this morning for a pretty serious office job, and last night I was trying to look more “professional” because my usual style is basically exhausted raccoon. I made a folder on my laptop with outfit ideas, hairstyles, screenshots of people who looked confident, all that stuff.

The problem is I also use my laptop for absolutely everything else.

This morning, right before the interview, the recruiter emailed me asking if I could send over “the file we discussed.” She meant my portfolio PDF.

I was nervous, half awake, and trying to reply quickly so I attached the folder from my desktop without checking it properly and sent it.

About five minutes later I opened the sent email to double check and realized I had not sent my portfolio.

I sent them a ZIP folder titled:

“HOW TO LOOK EMPLOYABLE”

Inside was:

• mirror selfies
• screenshots of attractive businessmen
• a folder literally named “fake confidence”
• a note to myself saying “sit up straight and stop looking scared”

I wanted to evaporate instantly.

The recruiter replied twenty minutes later with:

“Thanks for sending this over — and for the laugh. Looking forward to speaking with you.”

I got the job interview, but now they know everything.

TL;DR: Accidentally sent a recruiter my deeply embarrassing “how to become a functioning professional adult” folder instead of my actual portfolio.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kitinthebox on 2026-05-21 02:06:09+00:00.

Let me preface this by saying this was infact a year ago not today.

My brother had a destination wedding and he and my SIL got married on May the 4th for a starwars themed wedding. Adorable I love them and they are perfect together.

We were fortunate enough that my parents rented a air bnb for the week that my parents, me, my husband, daughter, other brother, other SIL and nephews were able to share so we only had to worry about plane tickets. First night in we dropped out kid off to get some sleep as it was so far past her bedtime and we went out to party with the soon to be Wed couple.

The wedding ended up being during the middle of a music fest so the streets were insane. At one point there was a woman smoking a cigarette talking on the phone, paused to vomit on the sidewalk right in front of us and then continued to smoke and resume her conversation like nothing happened.

Needless to say I had a head ache the next morning. No one came prepared with pain killers so I sought-after my pops who is identical to Jerry Garcia to ask for some THC free CBD to help with the pounding in my head. He told me to help myself and I raised the bag I assumed to be the self medication and without looking up from his book he said "yeah that's it!"

I should preface this by saying I can't handle weed. I become a full on anxious head case.

30 minutes later the whole family is going to lunch and I start feeling weird. Suddenly I need to change into a full sweatsuit in 90 degree weather and my skin feels suffocating but we go to walk to lunch anyway.

At this point I have realized something is up. Im trying my best to listen to my SIL and respond like a normal person while keeping a low profile and trying not to freak out when I run into a telephone pole because I was constrating too hard on eye contact and not hard enough on where I was going. Mortifying. My brother and husband are ruthless and I still hear about it a year later.

The restaurant was not better. I started full on panicking and I had a hard time reading the menu and I was trying to rehearse my drink order. I whisper to my husband "I think I'm high" and he laughs. Profoundly unhelpful.

Finally we leave. I ask my dad "i thought you said the cbd candy didn't have and THC I feel high"

He says "the CBD has no... wait you ate the candy?"

These candies were .5mg weed candies so the rest of the walk back is full of.

"You overdosed on a microdose" thanks dad

My brother touching me with a feather plant and saying he saw a spider

And cackling from a 10 person group for a mile walk back to the air bnb.

Anyway I finally rallied because my brother doesn't live in my state and we planned on drinking. So I made myself sick on buttery nipples at a dive bar and we went full circle.

TL;DR: gave myself a hangover, took cbd to help the headache, it was weed, Jerry Garcia laughed at me, gave myself a hangover

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kindly_Description93 on 2026-05-20 22:35:22+00:00.

When I was at uni there was this wee sign outside my flat pointing to a “farmers market.” Every single day on the walk to class I’d pass it and think “aw I really need to check that out sometime.” Lived there for years. Fully convinced there was this hidden artisanal farmers market tucked away beside campus.

I was even telling folk about it like I was some local food blogger. “Aye there’s this amazing wee farmers market near uni.” Told one of my pals who loves cooking that we should go get fresh produce and make dinner one night.

Eventually we both have a free day and she’s already suspicious. She’s like:

“Mate… are ye sure there’s a farmers market in the middle of a random residential street in Glasgow? Just permanently there?”

And I’m like “Aye obviously, the sign’s been there for years. Must be a permanent wee farm shop.”

So we follow the sign. End up outside this tiny shop on a dead quiet street. Walk inside and immediately I’m thinking this is a strange setup for a farmers market because there’s just… frames everywhere. Picture frames. Hundreds of them.

Finally ask the wee guy behind the counter:

“Sorry, where’s the farmers market?”

And he just looks at me deadpan and goes:

“Am a frame maker doll, no a farmers market. There’s nae eggs here.”

Turns out I’d been misreading “FRAME MAKER” for about 3 years.

Possibly one of my most amusing dyslexic reading fails over the years but honestly we still laugh about it every time we pass an actual farmers market now.

TL;DR: Spent 3 years thinking a Glasgow frame shop was a permanent farmers market because I can’t read.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ThatRoofer on 2026-05-20 21:42:02+00:00.

Okay so I'm an idiot. Two years ago I had this little twinge in my back molar. You know the kind. Comes and goes. I was like nah it's fine probably just sensitive.

Fast forward to last week. The tooth literally cracked while I was eating popcorn. Not even hard popcorn. A soft one. Went to a dentist finally and yeah. The infection had been eating the bone under that tooth for two years. Nothing left to save. Need an implant + bone graft + crown. Total quote? $15k. My insurance covers like $1500 of that. Cool cool cool.

The worst part? If I went two years ago it would've been a $300 filling. Maybe a root canal and crown for $2000. But no. I had to be brave and tough and avoidant.

Anyway now I'm looking at flying to Mexico or checking out to see some networks if they can do it cheaper. Someone told me they can work with lower cost options. At this point I'll try anything.

Don't be me. Go to the dentist when it hurts.

TL;DR: Ignored a mild toothache for two years until my tooth cracked, and now I need a $15k implant instead of a $300 filling because I’m an avoidant idiot.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Beneficial_String411 on 2026-05-20 17:38:59+00:00.

it was 72 and sunny this morning, I'm 42, I made the decision to wear my white linen pants like a man who has it all figured out. somebody in the office said I looked like I was on vacation. somebody from accounting actually whistled. I walked to the park at lunch, sat on a bench for 25 minutes eating a salad and watching a dog try to fight a leaf. my boss called. I stood up, paced around being professional, walked back to the office, and caught my reflection in the lobby window. reader. there is a large dark brown stain across the entire back of my pants. I do not know what it is. it is not the shape of chocolate. it is not the shape of mud. it is not the shape of any specific thing, which is somehow worse, because now my brain has to consider every option, including the ones I have spent my entire adult life not considering. I went to the bathroom, tried to look at it with my back to the mirror, which made me look like I was being arrested. I tried to scrub it. it got bigger. now I look like I attempted a cover up of whatever this is. I cannot smell anything but that's not how smelling yourself works, that's everyone else's job, and they have been on the clock for an hour. I have a Q2 review with three VPs in 22 minutes. the woman in the cubicle next to me just asked if I'm okay and I said "yeah, just tired" while possibly wearing feces. tomorrow these people will still work here. they all saw me leave for lunch white. they will all see me come back tomorrow.

TL;DR: wore white pants today, sat on something at lunch, just discovered a mystery brown stain across my entire ass, have a meeting in 22 minutes, tried to clean it and made it look like a cover up, the entire office has been quietly observing, please advise.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/blessedxthankful on 2026-05-20 14:37:39+00:00.

I 25F was in the middle of working while my brother’s wife Facebook messages me to call her, it is urgent. For background, my brother is in his late 30s and we are not close. We haven’t seen each other in years but occasionally text. From what I hear from my dad, he is an alcoholic and hasn’t worked in years. My dad gives him money so that him and his wife do not get evicted from their apartment, but that’s all I know. My dad recently cut him off, hence me being reached out to over my dad. My brother has been with his wife for a few years but they just got married at courthouse a few weeks ago. I’ve only met her once and it was brief. They allegedly have a toxic relationship where they get drunk and fight 24/7.

I call the wife since she requested and she says my brother was arrested Monday evening. He was drunk, they fought, he pulled her hair so she called the cops. She says they are both broke and his bail is $600 but that she has been talking to an officer who says the bail can be decreased to $280 if my brother does a mandatory 6 week anger management program + wears an ankle monitor. She asks me for the money. I ask to speak to the officer and call him. We go back and forth a bit. We specifically spoke about my brothers charges, the 6 week program and I confirmed all the wife needs to do is bail him out and pick him up. I send her the money and 2 hours later she calls me crying saying that officer was a scammer. I asked how is it a scam if she brought the money to a bail bondsman and she said “I didn’t bring it there. The officer told me to go to a Walgreens and put it on a Walgreens card.” WHAT? She thought a Walgreens card would bail my brother out of jail? When I spoke to the “officer” a Walgreens card was never mentioned, I would have blocked him immediately.

I am embarrassed and feel stupid for giving my money out so easily but I was in the middle of working, exhausted, and wanted to get my brother out of jail. Now he is still sitting there and $280 is down the drain. I am laughing about this now because it’s just insane. It might be for the best that he stays in there a little longer to sober up.

So yeah, TIFU tremendously!!!

TL;DR Gave bail money too quickly

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BisonGlass2152 on 2026-05-20 14:11:35+00:00.

Context: I was out in my city, and I was taking a walk around with my roommate.

While passing through the main square of the city, we both witnessed a movie-like chase where three police officers managed to corner a guy who was probably dealing nearby.

I had never seen anything like that involving law enforcement before, so I decided to tell my girlfriend about it live by sending her a WhatsApp voice message.

So I raised my phone to record the voice message, but then something happened.

On the other side of the street, exactly where they had cornered the guy, a young policeman noticed I had my phone in my hand and shouted at me: “HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

I froze, confused. I didn’t process it. I just stood there, looking at him, thinking he couldn’t possibly be talking to me. After three seconds, I saw him running toward me, still shouting: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

I got seriously scared, so I stretched my arms out toward him, without touching him, and went: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down!”

From that moment on, the conversation went more or less like this. The police officer starts, I’m the second person. The dialogue alternates.

“What are you doing? Did you make a video?”

“I didn’t make any video. I was sending a voice message to my girlfriend.”

“Go to your gallery immediately and delete the video. In front of me.”

At that moment, I got embarrassed. “Why?” you may ask. Well, I remembered perfectly well that the last photo I had taken was a photo of my di*k that I had sent to my girlfriend.

I wasn’t afraid. I don’t mince words. If there’s something embarrassing to say, I say it. The damage was already done.

“Look, I’m not joking, but the last photo is a photo of my d**k.”

“I don’t care! Delete that video immediately!”

He didn’t hesitate. For him, in that gallery, there was THAT video. Except THAT video didn’t exist. A non-video.

So I humored him. I opened the Gallery. I showed him the latest media. I opened it. He saw it. He stood there for about two or three seconds, maybe to process what he was seeing. Then he closed his eyes and looked away from the phone.

“Get out of here!”

So we left.

I was crying with laughter. My roommate was too.

All in all, it was a pretty great evening.

TL;DR: A cop thought I was filming an arrest and demanded to see/delete the video. I told him the last thing in my gallery was a dick pic, he didn’t believe me, so I opened it in front of him. He saw it, processed it for two seconds, then told me to leave.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Zkrayonzz on 2026-05-20 12:21:57+00:00.

Not really a bad TIFU, but today I gave my 14 week old husky puppies (6 of them) ice cubes in their water dish for the first time, since it is going to be super hot today and I wanted the water to stay cold for longer. They were scared of the giant chunk of ice cubes at first, but now they realized ice cubes are amazing and quite the fun toy to chomp on and throw around. Now my entire kitchen floor is wet, as well as part of my dining room floor and living room floor and I have wet puppies. Also the water did not last long in there once they realized the joy of the ice cubes. I just know I am bound to bust my butt in there now, mopping will be a frivolous effort until the ice is gone. But being honest, once it’s gone there is a high likeliness I’ll give them more and it’ll start all over again.

TL;DR puppies plus ice cubes is an adorable mess, and I hope this post brought laughs to someone who needed it today.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ZombieBait2 on 2026-05-20 00:43:06+00:00.

This actually happened yesterday, but I’m such a rebel you can call me Billy Idol and watch me yell.

Yesterday, my kids and I were watching My Hero Academia when my eldest asked if we could have a snack. I said yes.

My youngest volunteered to get the raspberries. He’s six and a half, so I said yes… this was a big mistake.

He had to wash the raspberries before serving them. A few minutes later, he brought them back to the living room and put them on the coffee table, smiling and so proud of himself grinning ear to ear.

Can you guess what the fuck up was? I bet you a cool million that you can’t.

Turns out he washed them with soap.

Nothing prepares you for the taste of Dawn-flavored raspberries.

TL;DR: My kid served us raspberries washed with dish soap.