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submitted 6 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kindly_Description93 on 2026-05-20 22:35:22+00:00.


When I was at uni there was this wee sign outside my flat pointing to a “farmers market.” Every single day on the walk to class I’d pass it and think “aw I really need to check that out sometime.” Lived there for years. Fully convinced there was this hidden artisanal farmers market tucked away beside campus.

I was even telling folk about it like I was some local food blogger. “Aye there’s this amazing wee farmers market near uni.” Told one of my pals who loves cooking that we should go get fresh produce and make dinner one night.

Eventually we both have a free day and she’s already suspicious. She’s like:

“Mate… are ye sure there’s a farmers market in the middle of a random residential street in Glasgow? Just permanently there?”

And I’m like “Aye obviously, the sign’s been there for years. Must be a permanent wee farm shop.”

So we follow the sign. End up outside this tiny shop on a dead quiet street. Walk inside and immediately I’m thinking this is a strange setup for a farmers market because there’s just… frames everywhere. Picture frames. Hundreds of them.

Finally ask the wee guy behind the counter:

“Sorry, where’s the farmers market?”

And he just looks at me deadpan and goes:

“Am a frame maker doll, no a farmers market. There’s nae eggs here.”

Turns out I’d been misreading “FRAME MAKER” for about 3 years.

Possibly one of my most amusing dyslexic reading fails over the years but honestly we still laugh about it every time we pass an actual farmers market now.

TL;DR: Spent 3 years thinking a Glasgow frame shop was a permanent farmers market because I can’t read.

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submitted 6 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ThatRoofer on 2026-05-20 21:42:02+00:00.


Okay so I'm an idiot. Two years ago I had this little twinge in my back molar. You know the kind. Comes and goes. I was like nah it's fine probably just sensitive.

Fast forward to last week. The tooth literally cracked while I was eating popcorn. Not even hard popcorn. A soft one. Went to a dentist finally and yeah. The infection had been eating the bone under that tooth for two years. Nothing left to save. Need an implant + bone graft + crown. Total quote? $15k. My insurance covers like $1500 of that. Cool cool cool.

The worst part? If I went two years ago it would've been a $300 filling. Maybe a root canal and crown for $2000. But no. I had to be brave and tough and avoidant.

Anyway now I'm looking at flying to Mexico or checking out to see some networks if they can do it cheaper. Someone told me they can work with lower cost options. At this point I'll try anything.

Don't be me. Go to the dentist when it hurts.

TL;DR: Ignored a mild toothache for two years until my tooth cracked, and now I need a $15k implant instead of a $300 filling because I’m an avoidant idiot.

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submitted 10 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Beneficial_String411 on 2026-05-20 17:38:59+00:00.


it was 72 and sunny this morning, I'm 42, I made the decision to wear my white linen pants like a man who has it all figured out. somebody in the office said I looked like I was on vacation. somebody from accounting actually whistled. I walked to the park at lunch, sat on a bench for 25 minutes eating a salad and watching a dog try to fight a leaf. my boss called. I stood up, paced around being professional, walked back to the office, and caught my reflection in the lobby window. reader. there is a large dark brown stain across the entire back of my pants. I do not know what it is. it is not the shape of chocolate. it is not the shape of mud. it is not the shape of any specific thing, which is somehow worse, because now my brain has to consider every option, including the ones I have spent my entire adult life not considering. I went to the bathroom, tried to look at it with my back to the mirror, which made me look like I was being arrested. I tried to scrub it. it got bigger. now I look like I attempted a cover up of whatever this is. I cannot smell anything but that's not how smelling yourself works, that's everyone else's job, and they have been on the clock for an hour. I have a Q2 review with three VPs in 22 minutes. the woman in the cubicle next to me just asked if I'm okay and I said "yeah, just tired" while possibly wearing feces. tomorrow these people will still work here. they all saw me leave for lunch white. they will all see me come back tomorrow.

TL;DR: wore white pants today, sat on something at lunch, just discovered a mystery brown stain across my entire ass, have a meeting in 22 minutes, tried to clean it and made it look like a cover up, the entire office has been quietly observing, please advise.

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submitted 10 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/blessedxthankful on 2026-05-20 14:37:39+00:00.


I 25F was in the middle of working while my brother’s wife Facebook messages me to call her, it is urgent. For background, my brother is in his late 30s and we are not close. We haven’t seen each other in years but occasionally text. From what I hear from my dad, he is an alcoholic and hasn’t worked in years. My dad gives him money so that him and his wife do not get evicted from their apartment, but that’s all I know. My dad recently cut him off, hence me being reached out to over my dad. My brother has been with his wife for a few years but they just got married at courthouse a few weeks ago. I’ve only met her once and it was brief. They allegedly have a toxic relationship where they get drunk and fight 24/7.

I call the wife since she requested and she says my brother was arrested Monday evening. He was drunk, they fought, he pulled her hair so she called the cops. She says they are both broke and his bail is $600 but that she has been talking to an officer who says the bail can be decreased to $280 if my brother does a mandatory 6 week anger management program + wears an ankle monitor. She asks me for the money. I ask to speak to the officer and call him. We go back and forth a bit. We specifically spoke about my brothers charges, the 6 week program and I confirmed all the wife needs to do is bail him out and pick him up. I send her the money and 2 hours later she calls me crying saying that officer was a scammer. I asked how is it a scam if she brought the money to a bail bondsman and she said “I didn’t bring it there. The officer told me to go to a Walgreens and put it on a Walgreens card.” WHAT? She thought a Walgreens card would bail my brother out of jail? When I spoke to the “officer” a Walgreens card was never mentioned, I would have blocked him immediately.

I am embarrassed and feel stupid for giving my money out so easily but I was in the middle of working, exhausted, and wanted to get my brother out of jail. Now he is still sitting there and $280 is down the drain. I am laughing about this now because it’s just insane. It might be for the best that he stays in there a little longer to sober up.

So yeah, TIFU tremendously!!!

TL;DR Gave bail money too quickly

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submitted 10 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BisonGlass2152 on 2026-05-20 14:11:35+00:00.


Context: I was out in my city, and I was taking a walk around with my roommate.

While passing through the main square of the city, we both witnessed a movie-like chase where three police officers managed to corner a guy who was probably dealing nearby.

I had never seen anything like that involving law enforcement before, so I decided to tell my girlfriend about it live by sending her a WhatsApp voice message.

So I raised my phone to record the voice message, but then something happened.

On the other side of the street, exactly where they had cornered the guy, a young policeman noticed I had my phone in my hand and shouted at me: “HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

I froze, confused. I didn’t process it. I just stood there, looking at him, thinking he couldn’t possibly be talking to me. After three seconds, I saw him running toward me, still shouting: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

I got seriously scared, so I stretched my arms out toward him, without touching him, and went: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down!”

From that moment on, the conversation went more or less like this. The police officer starts, I’m the second person. The dialogue alternates.

“What are you doing? Did you make a video?”

“I didn’t make any video. I was sending a voice message to my girlfriend.”

“Go to your gallery immediately and delete the video. In front of me.”

At that moment, I got embarrassed. “Why?” you may ask. Well, I remembered perfectly well that the last photo I had taken was a photo of my di*k that I had sent to my girlfriend.

I wasn’t afraid. I don’t mince words. If there’s something embarrassing to say, I say it. The damage was already done.

“Look, I’m not joking, but the last photo is a photo of my d**k.”

“I don’t care! Delete that video immediately!”

He didn’t hesitate. For him, in that gallery, there was THAT video. Except THAT video didn’t exist. A non-video.

So I humored him. I opened the Gallery. I showed him the latest media. I opened it. He saw it. He stood there for about two or three seconds, maybe to process what he was seeing. Then he closed his eyes and looked away from the phone.

“Get out of here!”

So we left.

I was crying with laughter. My roommate was too.

All in all, it was a pretty great evening.

TL;DR: A cop thought I was filming an arrest and demanded to see/delete the video. I told him the last thing in my gallery was a dick pic, he didn’t believe me, so I opened it in front of him. He saw it, processed it for two seconds, then told me to leave.

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submitted 10 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Zkrayonzz on 2026-05-20 12:21:57+00:00.


Not really a bad TIFU, but today I gave my 14 week old husky puppies (6 of them) ice cubes in their water dish for the first time, since it is going to be super hot today and I wanted the water to stay cold for longer. They were scared of the giant chunk of ice cubes at first, but now they realized ice cubes are amazing and quite the fun toy to chomp on and throw around. Now my entire kitchen floor is wet, as well as part of my dining room floor and living room floor and I have wet puppies. Also the water did not last long in there once they realized the joy of the ice cubes. I just know I am bound to bust my butt in there now, mopping will be a frivolous effort until the ice is gone. But being honest, once it’s gone there is a high likeliness I’ll give them more and it’ll start all over again.

TL;DR puppies plus ice cubes is an adorable mess, and I hope this post brought laughs to someone who needed it today.

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submitted 22 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ZombieBait2 on 2026-05-20 00:43:06+00:00.


This actually happened yesterday, but I’m such a rebel you can call me Billy Idol and watch me yell.

Yesterday, my kids and I were watching My Hero Academia when my eldest asked if we could have a snack. I said yes.

My youngest volunteered to get the raspberries. He’s six and a half, so I said yes… this was a big mistake.

He had to wash the raspberries before serving them. A few minutes later, he brought them back to the living room and put them on the coffee table, smiling and so proud of himself grinning ear to ear.

Can you guess what the fuck up was? I bet you a cool million that you can’t.

Turns out he washed them with soap.

Nothing prepares you for the taste of Dawn-flavored raspberries.

TL;DR: My kid served us raspberries washed with dish soap.

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submitted 22 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sheelon666 on 2026-05-19 22:05:21+00:00.


This TIFU was initially primed last week, but the tripwire was broken by me about 9 hours ago, consequences yet to fully emerge.

I like spreadsheets. One could say I love spreadsheets. I've even got one of those little badges that says This Calls For A Spreadsheet. I'm recognised in work as the spreadsheet guy, as well as The Count.

Friend in work last week approached me asking me to help with his new spreadsheet task, amalgamating 4 whiteboards of material into a workflow with multiple data entry and exit points to allow the higher ups access to the info.

"No bother" I said and go to work. Two hours later I have done and the new shiny and *perfect* spreadsheet goes out.

Today: KABOOM. Go into work and notice a meeting on my calendar, ominously titled as per the workflow included on the spreadsheet. Now I've recently been shifted slightly across from my usual role to help out with another project, which will entail working to 90% of my hours to make sure I do what I need to cover my work. I think the meeting has been scheduled to discuss how useful this new sheet is. That's how it starts off of course when I get in there. By the end I've been handed an ENORMOUS body of work to build logs and databases to manage the workflows and output in a sufficient way that the higher ups of the higher ups can review and understand where the entire department is at. "I don't want to upset the apple cart but am I not supposed to be doing that other role now?" "Well, we figured you could fit in this new task around your spare time out from the other role. By the way can you have all this done in the next two weeks?"

Me and my big mouth. The irony is, I'd offer to help all over again, like I did last time.

TL;DR: Helped a friend do a spreadsheet, get tasked by the managers to do a titanic version of the same in whatever spare time I can find but to be completed in about 2 weeks. Consequences: not yet fully clear.

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/globliatcov on 2026-05-19 14:40:20+00:00.


so my gf works at sephora and she was having a terrible week so i thought i’d surprise her with flowers and her favorite iced latte from starbucks. i walked into the store with flowers in one hand and coffee in the other and saw her helping a customer across the store so i decided to wait by the register.

one of the flowers slipped and when i bent down to pick it up the coffee tipped over and dumped all over a display of expensive perfume gift sets. i panicked and started grabbing boxes and wiping them off with my shirt. apparently that looked exactly like i was stealing. one employee yelled sir what are you doing and a security guard appeared out of nowhere grabbed my flowers and took me to the back room. a minute later my gf came in took one look at me covered in coffee holding a crushed bouquet and said that’s my boyfriend he’s not stealing he’s just an idiot. they checked the cameras and let me go.i still had to pay for the damaged perfume..the flowers somehow survived.

TL;DR tried to surprise my gf at work with flowers and coffee spilled the coffee on a perfume display got mistaken for a shoplifter and my gf had to explain to security that i’m just an idiot.

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DefinitelyNotMaranda on 2026-05-19 08:49:11+00:00.


For context, I am completely blind and have been since 2016. I’m using a screen reader to type this before anyone asks lol.

My boyfriend is a fucking moron.

The other day, I sent him to CVS to grab me some baby wipes because toilet paper is an absolute disaster when you can’t see. I was genuinely excited to finally have wipes again, so the second he got home, I marched straight to the bathroom to handle business.

Afterward, I opened the pack and immediately noticed they smelled weird and felt different than the ones I usually use. But since my boyfriend has fully functioning eyeballs, I stupidly assumed he had managed to buy the correct thing and figured maybe they were just a different brand.

So I proceeded to wipe my ass and vulva with them.

For TWO DAYS.

Then suddenly, my labia started burning like satan himself had reached out to touch it.

And somehow, I still didn’t suspect the wipes.

Thankfully, my roommate walked into the bathroom the next day while I was peeing so she could brush her teeth. When I finished, I reached for another wipe and she practically lunged across the room to stop me.

Horrified, she snatched the pack out of my hand and informed me that I had been wiping my coochie with DISINFECTING WIPES.

CHEMICAL. FUCKING. WIPES.

I wanted to die.

Apparently my boyfriend saw “wipes” and said, “Yep, that’s probably close enough.”

I was shocked, furious, and utterly humiliated!!!

Thankfully, everything is fine now. My kitty cat is feeling much better and my roommate and I ended up having a good laugh about the entire situation. But I really think this man needs supervised shopping privileges from now on. 😭💀

TLDR: My blind ass trusted my boyfriend to buy baby wipes. He accidentally bought disinfecting wipes instead. I used them on my vulva for two days before my roommate caught me. My coochie briefly entered the gates of hell.

Edit: I swear some of y’all in the comments are seriously lacking in the common sense department. No, I did not read the package. Hard to do when you’re blind. No, I did not wipe my anus and then my vagina with the same white. Being blind doesn’t make you a fucking animal. No, my boyfriend did not buy disinfectant wipes on purpose because he thinks my vagina stinks. I shower every single day. Jesus Christ, people. Are we really that dense???

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submitted 2 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fancy-Bid7088 on 2026-05-18 18:06:01+00:00.


I'm writing this as I got off of work in absolute shambles. I want to hide away from humanity forever. Maybe even quit.

I took my nieces and nephews to the school fair about two days ago. Everything was easy and breezy (excluding my nephew acting up frequently enough to where we had to go home early). The fair had about 50 or so kids? There were a bunch of hands-on activities and games I participated in with my nieces. We were shooting hoops, shooting water guns, you name it... I know that kids are human petri dishes, but I'm pretty good with my hygiene and handwashing.

I felt pretty okay throughout the weekend. However, when I woke up today (Monday), my right lymph node hurt pretty bad. It's allergies season, and I snore in my sleep. I just assumed it was that. So, I grab my belongings, keys, and clock in for my shift. Its a physically demanding job that requires a lot of arm strength, but I always manage on the days where I feel off.

Today, they introduced a new manager that would be overseeing the rest of the job site. Fun!

About halfway through the shift, my throat gets scratchier. I'm getting more fatigued. My stomach starts hurting. However, once again, I brush it up to mild allergies and the potato salad I ate last night. I grab some water from the break room, use the bathroom for a bit, then get right back to work.

But, noooo, it gets much worse than that, dear reader. My throat started to feeling like how it feels after stuffing down 10 buffalo wings in 30 minutes. I'm getting lightheaded, winded, and the heat isn't making it any better. I think, "Let me just rest my head in the break room for a bit, drink some more water, and get back to business". So, I'm sitting there chugging water and waiting for the nausea and burning to subside.

Then, the cough starts kicking in. Its super dry and I have asthma. I'm already winded, and yet, I managed to muster up the strength I had to get the cough out.

But then, a feeling of all encompassing, overpowering nausea hits me. That type of nausea that isn't gradual. This one's in your face, and before you have the chance to run to the bathroom you settle for a nearby trashcan.

I run out the breakroom, running down the stairs to try and make it to the bathroom. It's far away, but I've done the impossible. I cover my mouth with my hands as a last ditch effort. And in the moment after that, I wonder if Icarus felt like I did in his tumble down to earth.

It gets everywhere. On the ground. On the table. On my shirt. My coworkers see it. The new manager sees it. I start tearing up. Completely mortified, I clean up what I could with paper towels and I clock out with shaky hands. I rush out to the car with a bag, drive home in silence, and run to reddit.

TLDR; I got sick, overestimated how much I could handle, and got sick everywhere at work. Take care of yourself.

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Gernfield_42 on 2026-05-19 05:53:52+00:00.


I had never actually been inside a church service before. I’d seen churches a million times, but I was genuinely curious what the atmosphere was like during an actual Sunday service. One weekend I was downtown early before meeting a friend and saw this huge old cathedral with the doors open, so I figured I’d quietly sit in the back for a few minutes and leave. At first everything was normal. People were singing, there was organ music playing, and the whole place honestly felt way calmer than I expected. I sat near the back trying not to stand out. Then everyone stood up. So naturally I stood up too. A little later everyone sat down. So I sat down too. Then everybody kneeled. This is where things went downhill. I had absolutely no idea there were fold-out kneeling benches attached to the seats. I thought people were literally kneeling straight onto the floor. Trying to blend in, I dropped down quickly and smashed my shin directly into the wooden kneeler underneath the bench. The sound echoed through the entire church. Not exaggerating either. It sounded like someone hit a baseball bat against wood. I immediately grabbed the pew in front of me to stop myself from falling over, except I grabbed it way too hard and shook the entire row enough for multiple people to turn around and stare at me. Now my shin is throbbing, my eyes are watering, and I’m awkwardly crouched there trying to pretend nothing happened while everyone else is peacefully praying. Then somehow I made it worse. Because I was so focused on acting normal again, I didn’t realize everyone had already stood back up. So for a solid few seconds I was the ONLY person still kneeling there while the room was dead silent. The guy next to me leaned over and quietly whispered:

“You’re good.” I stood up too fast, got lightheaded immediately, and had to grab the pew AGAIN to steady myself. At this point I probably looked like the church was actively rejecting me. After the service ended, one older guy came over and asked if it was my first time there. I apologized for accidentally causing a scene, but he just laughed and said half the people there had done something similar before. Still never recovered mentally from hearing my shin make that noise though.

TL;DR: Went to a church service out of curiosity, didn’t know kneeling benches existed, destroyed my shin loud enough for people to turn around, then spent the rest of the service accidentally drawing more attention to myself.

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/be-sweethearts on 2026-05-18 20:44:22+00:00.


hi so I’m 21F and I don’t know how to swim. It’s not that I never learned, I had an instructor when I was a kid and I swam often. I just had intense body dysmorphia when I hit puberty. This caused me to be repulsed by the idea of me in a swim suit, and I didn’t swim the entirety of middle school to high school so I forgot how to swim. Apparently it’s not like riding a bike, I completely forgot how to swim. I only found the confidence to go out again in bathing suits recently and i just graduated college a week ago lol.

Anyway, I’ve been with Guy 25m for only a month. He really likes me and introduced me to his friends early on. I’ve hung out with him and his friends a few times now. This time we went to Guys parent’s house to swim. I told everyone there I didn’t know how to swim and I’d just sit in the floatie. One guy there said “let me teach you how to swim” and I said okay and he showed me some basic swimming techniques. He told me to do a bit of kicks and laps in the pool with the floatie.

After a while, I stopped using the floatie and was just chilling in the 3ft area. My bf says “throw the floatie down a bit, I wanna see if I can throw this football in it. I throw it to where the pool starts to slant down into 8ft. He misses. So I grab the floatie (it’s donut shaped) and I start swimming to where the football bounced bc I was confident in my rediscovered swimming skills. Well! The floatie is really floaty. It flips me over and I start splashing. I grab the floatie again but it flips me again. I try again and Im holding on to it but it’s tilting and I’m losing grip. I let go and I start splashing again. I’m bobbing up and down, struggling, and I can hear his friend saying “yo I think she’s drowning go help her”. I manage to swim to the edge and grip the wall dig my toes into the wall. my bf comes running and he pushes the floatie closer to me and I hold on to it better so he can drag me over to the 3ft area.

I’m intensely embarrassed. But I know they didn’t care too much. This happened yesterday but every time I touch water I think of it. Like I was cleaning my tub earlier and the splashing of the water just reminded me of the ordeal. I’m so embarrassed. I really overestimated myself lol but I’ll get better at swimming before I do that again.

TLDR

I overestimated my swimming skills and tried to retrieve a football for my bf and my floatie betrayed me

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/schmeekygeek on 2026-05-18 18:29:28+00:00.


a little background,

whenever I go to buy something in a shop here in India, I usually pay via Google Pay UPI

I would scan the shop's QR code, wait, until I get my item(s), enter the amount, pay and leave

so I went to this general store to get some cat food which is worth 200 INR, (about 2$), I kept the app open, and I don't know how, but I must've touched someone else's 'pay' screen by mistake while not looking at my phone, and the amount window got opened (don't know exactly how I missed scanning the QR completely, I was on complete autopilot mode : ((, didn't even see and confirm the receiver)

I got the item, gleefully entered the amount, paid, and was almost leaving when one of the workers told me that you have to wait for the AI voice to play (they have these small devices that play "rupees X received via Y) to confirm that the amount paid was received, and I was like, "I paid, I gotta go..." and showed him the successful transaction screen that I got, but then they saw the screen and were like, "who did you pay?" I looked back and then it hit me like, "oh shit I paid someone else"

so now obviously and naturally, the owner's thinking that I showed a fake transaction screen, was leaving in a hurry without actually paying the amount, ultimately trying to pull off a scam

I went back, and scanned the QR, paid the amount, but then everyone, the customers and workers were looking at me like I'm some kinda scammer

the owner got angry, like, "don't do this please, wait for the amount to be received before leaving" "whatever that is that you're trying to do, don't do it please" and I was trying to explain my screw-up but he was just going on and on

I just feel like shit now, I lost 200rs (probably recoverable, so no big deal), but I still have this guilt of something that I didn't even do. I feel super humiliated too. not sure why I didn't double check the receiver when paying, just completely missed that whole QR scanning step

don't know what to do now, I paid the amount too, I don't even care about the money I lost (FORTUNATELY) since it wasn't even that much tbh

I even go to this shop on a regular basis (well kinda, about once every 2 months), I have a good track record too

I just feel so awful right now

TL;DR: I accidentally paid someone else while buying cat food, and the shopkeeper thought I was pulling of a scam, lost some money and self-esteem

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Arcane_Helpline on 2026-05-18 16:55:54+00:00.


My friend and I were standing on a staircase outside of a building. I am white (relevant) and my friend is white passing. A black woman (also relevant) approached and said something I didn’t hear, but I assumed she was trying to get by since we were blocking the stairs, so I moved behind my friend so she could get past.

The woman looked flabbergasted and said, “I’m not gonna hurt you guys or anything, I was just looking for a light.”

I realized that I indeed looked like I was cowering behind my friend.

I was mortified. My friend was mortified. I quickly explained I didn’t hear her and I thought she just wanted past, but I’m not sure she believed me. My friend told her we didn’t have a lighter for her and she went to ask someone else.

My friend told me if I had stepped in front of her instead of behind her, maybe it wouldn’t have looked as bad, but of course, I wasn’t thinking about that, I was thinking, “Oh, we’re so rude and blocking the entry for this woman, I should get over!”

TL;DR - I tried to move out of the way but ended up looking hella racist instead.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/cptmorgantravel89 on 2026-05-17 15:24:01+00:00.


Before you all go Epstein on me I was reffing a youth hockey tournament. The game was getting a bit chippy so we started calling some more penalties to keep it under control. The girls were trash talking in typical hockey fashion slashing shoving you know the typical things you do in a heated game. So we are getting ready to wrap up the last intermission and everyone was lining up for the face off. And before I drop the puck I say. Alright guys let’s have a good period….

These little shits start laughing historically when I said that. I’m looking confused until it dawned on me what I said to a couple of teenage girls. I embarrassing get it under control and he the face off going and I thought that was the end if it. But nope.

I break up a scrum « it’s not my fault we were on our period »

« my boyfriend didn’t bring me my chocolate this morning »

Haha very funny… until after the game I’m leaving and one of the girls… in front of her parents… who had absolutely no context…. Says «  were our periods to your liking ? » the look of confusion and disgust on this 40 year old woman’s face. I’m Beet red and I hightail it out of the rink determined never to come back again.

TL;dr I told a couple of 14 year old girls to have a good period during a hockey game and they mocked me the entire rest of the time I was there.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/CommissionCooper on 2026-05-17 09:50:02+00:00.


My new kitten taught himself fetch the first week i had him. He'll drop one of his toys directly in my hand so i can throw it - honestly so cute and so smart. We've been doing this ALL winter!

Well boys, now its summer. The time of roaches is upon us. Kitten got bored one evening and brought me a cool new brown thing with wings he found in the garage! Im sitting on my bed, watching the Avatar and friends learn about believing in yourself or something when this little dunce ran up to me like he had a toy in his mouth. Barely glancing from the tv screen i feel around with one hand for a plastic spring or fuzzy ball. When i cant find it i finally look down to see a dead roach and kitten sat next to it so proudly, just watching me. Before i can really consider the consequences of my actions i yell "EW!" and flick away from me. I have never immediately regretted a split second decision so much in my life. When i tell you the cockroach was still Mid Air when I saw this kitten's pupils dilate at the same time as his little back legs coiled under him to launch his happy ass after it. In that split second i heard it in my mind - clear as day:

“SHIT.”

It's now 2am. He has brought and dropped into my hand - which is usually under my face when I'm trying to sleep - a total of 5 cockroaches tonight. 3 of them alive, since he quickly discovered how fun it is for us Both to chase a cockroach through the blanket folds together like an effed up Bring Your Toddler Cat to Work Day.

And get this: I'm renovating my room right now and I currently don't have a door with which to lock him out, so all i can do its try to seek and destroy them before kitten gets any fun out of it - while trying to resist the increasing impulse to swing around and smack the stupid outta him every time his paws hit the duvet.

Tl;dr My kitten that taught itself how to play fetch over the winter discovered cockroaches today, and when he brought me one i discovered the meaning of regret when i flicked it away in disgust and he.. fetched it. Its now 2am and he has dropped 3 live cockroaches on my face and body since then.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/alwayspookyszn on 2026-05-17 07:01:43+00:00.


This story starts like most, by doing something innocuous. I was doing house chores when my top body moved before my lower and I felt my knee almost dislodge? It was the weirdest feeling ever but my knee felt loose? Not completely, but enough to warrant a frantic Google.

I find out pretty quickly that we’re supposed to always keep a soft bend in your knee when walking and standing. I know from working out and yoga that a soft knee is used in exercise but I never thought to apply that to the rest of my life. I always work out on bikes and my going up or down a hill I would lock my knee when standing on the bike. Instant no.

The more I look at photos the more I realise I’ve literally been doing this forever standing and walking and no one has ever said anything that our true form should feel and look more similar to the way the Sims walk.

Apparently ‘stand up straight’ is a myth, you’re not meant to lock you knees when you do this but still keep a slight bend and that truly aligns your body. It looks straight to the eye, but your legs aren’t locked straight. Not doing it this way can lead to lower back pain (which I’ve always had…)

Well after 30 something years on this Earth I finally tested this slight bend in knee for the last few days and honestly I can feel my core activate so much easier now when doing tasks. The pressure feels so much more balanced on my feet and yes the knee moment has come and gone and I just hope I haven’t done too much damage. I do have to consciously remind myself to bend my knee but hopefully it will become second nature.

tldr: If you’re locking your knees please stop. Your joints will thank you for it. I hope this saves at least one knee cartilage

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/eccehobo1 on 2026-05-16 15:53:15+00:00.


Obligatory this happened today.

I am a 47-year-old man. I am not a mechanic, but I have picked up useful traits over the years. I know how to change a tire. I know how to use a jack. I know how to patch a tire when the damage is simple enough. Basic practical stuff.

There is a guy at work named Carlos. Carlos is from Peru, but he has lived here for around 20 years. He is a nice guy. I want to be clear about that. He is not a bad person. He has never done anything terrible to me.

I just do not like him very much, and the reasons are petty.

He talks to me before I’ve had coffee. We do not mesh. This is the entire reason that I don't like him.

The problem is that Carlos likes me.

He seems to like me because I am generally kind, relaxed, and neutral. I try not to be cruel to people. I may be an smartass sometimes, but I am not mean.

So this morning I got to work around 6:40 and saw Carlos in the parking lot with a flat tire. He had the terrible factory jack that comes with most newer cars. The kind that technically works, but makes the whole process slower, more awkward, and more annoying than it needs to be.

He did not know how to use it. He also did not know how to take the tire off.

Again, I do not really like Carlos.

But I am not going to stand there and watch someone struggle with a flat tire when I know how to help.

So I went over and asked what was going on. He told me he got a flat on the way to work. I helped him get the car jacked up safely, got the tire off, and found a nail in it.

He started calling around and was told it would be about $120 to get the tire patched.

That annoyed me.

So on my lunch break, I went and bought a tire plug kit for about $10. I brought it back, patched the tire myself, and got it back on his car. He did not really help because he did not know how. I just fixed it.

That should have been the end of it.

It was not.

Now Carlos wants to take me to dinner to thank me. I told him I did not do it because I wanted anything from him. I did it because it was the right thing to do.

This made it worse.

Now he is telling people at work that I am a great guy and a great friend. There are only five people in the office, they all know that I just want to be left alone.

I do not want to be mean to him. I do not want to say, “Carlos, I did not do this because we are friends. I did it because I didn’t want you to spend $120 on a $10 problem.”

But that is basically the truth.

So now I have accidentally strengthened a work relationship I was trying to keep politely distant.

TL;DR: Helped a coworker I don’t really like fix a flat tire because I didn’t want him to get ripped off. Now he wants to take me to dinner and thinks we are better friends than we are.

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheDollarstoreDoctor on 2026-05-16 10:49:12+00:00.


Currently sitting in a bathtub debating if I'm dying or not

I'm on my period. I went to EDC last night. Before I put in one of my mega tampons. My last one. I had other regular sized ones. I forgot to buy or bring more. I was fine for the most part then 2 am rolled around. I felt really wet. I put my finger to my crotch, it was clear. Did I pee myself? I hurried to the bathroom, first stopping at a general booth to get a tampon. I looked at the tampon in a panic. It was like 1/5th the size of my regular tampons. Since being on birth control my periods aren't too crazy but this was like, super tiny. Literally the width of my pinky, and I'm tiny, 5'1, I say to my husband is this for ants?? It'll have to do. I hurry to the bathroom. My husband holds my phone flash light while I get the tampon ready and realize I bled through the tampon in me. Fine. I have this new one. I stick it in and we head off to the next stage.

By the time we get to the ADA section of the next stage, I realize I'm in trouble. I feel wet. VERY wet. Blood started going down my leg. This is when I point out I'm wearing practically a thong with fishnets. I stammer for a bit before accepting yes we have to go. Now. My husband makes a bee line for the exit. I've never been more embarrassed. The blood is to my knees. I havent had a period like this in a decade*. We still have half a mile to go. I'm waddling. I'm sticky.

We make a makeshift seat cover out of pashminas and bags. We make it to the house. I get to the bathroom. Its a blood explosion. I'm still bleeding. But I'm not in pain so the urgency is confusing. My body is having a "when should we start to worry" meeting. Currently soaking in the bath. Bleeding stopped now. Will remeet after I take my medicine. I do have extra tranxemic acid (clotting meds, from when I bled too long for like a month+ not too heavy) so will try that.

*Side tangent about my period: I have been on birth control since I started my period because of the heaviness. It has been controlled since (the heaviness) I have been to several gynos and gotten every test under the sun including exploratory surgery and they can't find anything wrong. Drs listen to my complaints since endometriosis runs in my family so I've been tested for everything under the sun a lot. Interestingly too, I don't really get cramps. And I can get my period multiple times a month or miss it for months. Also it never happens on the same time. Its random.

TL;DR: Bled through two tampons then had a blood explosion down my legs at EDC because the tampon was too small since I didn't bring one big enough

EDIT: if I don't slow down in half an hour my husband is taking me to the ER

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/whatawynn on 2026-05-16 06:47:26+00:00.


graduating college tomorrow, realized last night my gown and dress are both incredibly wrinkly. quickly obtain the cheapest handheld steamer i can find and am like perfect, i am such an adult, look at me go steaming my outfit.

let the steamer gear up for a second and then proceed to without thinking check if it’s warmed up enough by putting my whole hand right in front of it and burn the fuck out of myself, drop the steamer and also burn the fuck out of my foot.

which in immediate hindsight i was like why did i do that? but also i didn’t even think about it because i feel like in my memory steam even when you’re boiling something isnt that crazy hot. but turns out it can be.

TL;DR steam gets burning you levels of hot and also don’t touch things to check if they’re hot. you think you know that until you’re burning yourself.

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/selahscorpse on 2026-05-15 22:02:47+00:00.


This is basically an angry vent post, but whatever.

I’ve dealt with chronic insomnia and have been on prescribed sleeping pills since I was twelve. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue two years ago and recently had a sleep study preformed where I learned I had a melatonin deficiency. Apparently, their best guess as for why I’ve had sleep issues so long is because I downed AT LEAST five of those bitches every night for years since I was seven and have developed a reliance on it. Those were basically my flint stone vitamin gummies. Because little me couldn’t resist those chalky bricks, I have to take four sleep pills every night and can’t fall asleep without them. I’m pissed & tired.

TL;DR: I had too many melatonin chewables as a kid and now my sleep schedule is permanently screwed and I have to take sleeping pills.

EDIT: A lot of people are giving me unsolicited medical advice, and while I appreciate the concern, I don’t need it. I’m happy with the medication I’m on currently.

EDIT 2: I’m worried this post might’ve scared people off of melatonin, so I’ll clarify some things real quick:

  1. Taking melatonin occasionally isn’t going to ruin your brain. I took a minimum of 25mg every night from ages 7-11 years old. That dose is extremely high for an adult, let alone a developing child. Most melatonin chewables come in 3mg, taking one or two of those when you can’t sleep isn’t bad AT ALL. Melatonin is something that your brain creates, so taking a pill that helps increase that isn’t bad at all. Please don’t take this post to heart, it’s an extremely rare case with other factors besides melatonin that contributed to my sleep disorders.
  2. Don’t demonize parents who give their children melatonin. If you know someone who gives their child melatonin sometimes, don’t try to scare them away with this post. My parents were neglectful as fuck which is what led to me taking so many. If a parent is giving their child melatonin because they can’t sleep, it’s most likely because they’re concerned about their child. This doesn’t mean we should be giving a shit ton of pills to babies, but there’s a reason why some over the counter medications are labeled for kids as well. If your child is having trouble sleeping and nothing else is working, talk to your doctor about melatonin. Just because this extremely rare thing happened to me doesn’t mean it will happen to your child.
  3. There is no concrete evidence that you can develop a dependency on melatonin. Once again, I am an extremely rare case of childhood melatonin abuse leading to sleep issues in adulthood. Don’t be scared of medication that is made to help you. If you have side effects from them, stop taking it immediately. Please know that everyone’s body is different and your experience with melatonin might not be another persons experience.
  4. If you need sleep medication, talk to your doctor. Take care of your body.
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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kate_from_oops-games on 2026-05-15 21:08:00+00:00.


I recently got a Waterpik. The very first day I owned it, I turned it on before I put it in my mouth. It immediately power-washed my bathroom mirror, my shirt, and my dignity.

Lesson learned. Ever since that day, I have been incredibly careful. I am a disciplined, methodical Waterpik user. The nozzle goes in the mouth, then the power goes on.

Fast forward to this morning. I'm using it, and the motor starts making a sputtering sound like the reservoir is running dry ...I pulled it out of my mouth to look at the water level...but, I didn't turn it off first.

I took a high-pressure jet of lukewarm tap water directly up the nose. My sinuses have been aggressively deep-cleaned, my brain is hydrated, and I had to towel off my ceiling.

TL;DR: Pulled a running dental power-washer out of my mouth to check the water level, ended up giving my nasal cavity a localized hurricane.

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bellacathy on 2026-05-15 16:29:16+00:00.


I grew up in a simple household of 6 people - meaning there was never enough money for accessories. There was always food on the table and we had clothes that covered us. But we did not have an excess of money which meant there were parts of social life I never learned growing up.

We never had 'accessories'. Now jewellery, not handbags...and no sunglasses. The adults in the family never wore them so neither did the children. We were taught, as a way of kerbing expenses, that it was just a way of some people showing off their wealth. I accepted this way as the only way.

This brings me to my adulthood. I have always worked outside in all weathers in England. Lots of wind, lots of rain and believe it or not, lots of sunshine. The work is very physical and I move around a lot in my day, lifting amd carrying and bending and running. I often wear suncream and a hat but never sunglasses.

Over 10 years of this, one day I woke up and I had a bright red inner white of my eye. Lots of red veiny bits and a yellowed area. There was some pain in the back of my eyeball like strain. I hadn't been to an eye doctor since I was a child so I thought that this was a sign to get to one sooner rather than later.

I visited an Optometrist. He did all the examinations that took 40 mins. It was concluded I now have irreparable UV damage to both of my eyes. It will look better with some hot compresses and eye drops but it will always remain to some extent.

Safe to say, I ordered UV 400 polarised sunglasses the same day and will be wearing them henceforth.

TL;DR. Sunglasses are like suncream. You have to protect your eyes as well as your skin.

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submitted 6 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Beneficial_String411 on 2026-05-14 19:18:49+00:00.


obligatory this didn't happen today it's been happening since 2003 and I just had a quiet panic about it on the bus, I'm 42. when I was nineteen I walked into a barbershop for the first time as an adult, meaning my mom wasn't waiting in the car, and the guy asked me what I wanted and I had not prepared for this, in my head I assumed haircuts worked like ordering coffee where you say a word and the professional handles the rest, turns out you have to know words, numbers even, hair has a grading system. so the guy says what are we doing today man and I, a confident adult, said uh just like a two on the sides. I have no idea where I got two. I think I heard it in a movie, I think the movie was Varsity Blues, I don't know. he nodded, he cut, I tipped 15% because I had read somewhere that's what adults do, I walked out, I looked fine, I assumed I had cracked the code. for the next twenty three years in five different cities with maybe fourteen different barbers when asked what I wanted I have said with the calm authority of a man who has read a manual, "two on the sides, scissor on top." I added scissor on top around year four because I heard another guy say it and it sounded sophisticated, like ordering wine. I did not know what either of these things meant. I assumed two was a length, maybe inches, centimeters, a vibe, I never asked, you can't ask, asking would reveal that you have walked into approximately a hundred haircuts under false pretenses and that the man you became, taxes, mortgage, opinions about mattresses, was constructed on top of a single unverified guess. today my current barber who I have been seeing for three years said you want to try a 1.5 today, switch it up. and reader, I panicked, because if a 1.5 exists that means there's a SCALE, that means two is not a vibe, that means somewhere in the cosmos there is a 0 and a 3 and presumably a 7 and I have been LARPing as a man with hair opinions since the Bush administration, the first one, wait no, the second one, that's worse somehow. I said yeah let's do it like a coward, I have no idea if I look different, he's behind me, I can't tell, I just nodded at the mirror like he showed me a piece of modern art. I tipped 20% out of guilt.

TL;DR: picked a random number at 19 to seem like an adult who gets haircuts, have been repeating that number to professionals for twenty three years across multiple cities without knowing what it means, today at 42 learned there are other numbers, my whole adult identity may have been a 2.

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Today I Fucked Up

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