This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/lionfromatlantic on 2026-05-10 20:49:23+00:00.

Well, this didn't happened today, but today was the day it finally hit me. I (F) was bullied for being ugly when I was 12 or 13, especially by the boys in my class. Still, I had a great friend the same age as me who was the sweetest boy in my eyes. He was a really kind guy to everyone and because of that I had a huge crush on him. Today, while I was looking at some photos with my husband and talking about them, I remembered three specific times: 1) some classmates started making fun of my widow's peak, which made me feel terrible until my friend heard them and told everyone he thought it was actually kind of cute. 2) He asked me to see a movie with just the two of us, emphasizing that he would pay for everything. I declined because I had just watched it with my cousin. 3) After he changed schools, he came back for a school fair just because I was doing a presentation. He literally got on one knee in front of everybody, kissed my hand and said I was awesome. I just laughed and told him he was crazy. By the way, that was the last time I saw him, he stopped talking to me after that. Now my husband is laughing saying I probably traumatized the poor boy.

TL;DR: after 15 years I just realized not only my childhood crush also had a crush on me, but I also brutally reject him

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/sisdom-weeker on 2026-05-08 22:24:24+00:00.

Edit: yes it’s silly early 20’s drama. I know it’s low stakes nonsense. I also however care deeply about one of the people involved here

TL:DR: I told a girl I barely know that I was sorry to hear about her breakup, she didn’t even know he was planning to stop seeing her

For context: here is everyone involved in the story:

Me

Bethany (my friend)

Shaun (Bethany’s friend)

Carla (a girl Shaun has been dating)

I’m friends with all 3 people involved in this story to some extent, but Bethany and I hang out quite frequently and I don’t really know Shaun and Carla that well, but they both frequent some regular events that Bethany and I go to. Long story short, the two got to chatting and eventually started going on dates, which I thought was great.

Earlier this week, while catching up with Bethany, I asked her how Shaun and Carla were doing and I got told that “oh they are no longer together, they realized it was mutually platonic”. Which is a shame, I thought. Didn’t really think much more of it after that.

Today, Carla was at an event that neither Bethany nor Shaun were at for once, which is very rare. I spoke to her at one point and I very quickly said, without thinking “oh I’m sorry to hear you two haven’t worked out”, or something along those lines, I don’t remember the exact sentence I said or how I phrased it. To which Carla responded with confusion. I immediately put two and two together and figure out that Shaun has no intention of seeing Carla anymore, but Carla has been ghosted and ignored.

Carla presses me for details and I kinda don’t want to tell her the truth because it would implicate Bethany for telling me, and Bethany is a very important friend to me. So I panic and I say “well, I don’t know for sure what happened. It was people gossiping and spreading rumours, because you didn’t show up with him to this event that you normally do together so people put two and two together”, basically making it sound like I didn’t know for sure what was happening and so I could also make sure Bethany isn’t directly implicated. I ended up giving her the advice to just wait and hear from him (my understanding from both of them is they aren’t seriously dating and it was never relationship stage/talk every day but just the odd date) and get confirmation for sure, just in case I’m wrong. I played dumb in order to make sure Bethany didn’t have to deal with me having a big gob.

I don’t really care what happens to Shaun too much to be honest, I get along with him well enough but we are not super close, outside of occasional Instagram messages we basically only socialize at these events. He shouldn’t have ghosted her and should have just told her “I’m not interested in you, sorry”. So I’m not really too fussed about that. What I do care about is my friendship with Bethany, who told me this. I assumed based on what she told me that it was maybe public knowledge, and I lied afterwards about what I was told so that she wasn’t directly implicated, as, from my point of view, she’s done nothing wrong as all she’s done is tell me something that’s happened to a mutual friend and shouldn’t be punished because Shaun is a coward.

What I think will possibly happen is:

Carla will ask Shaun what’s going on

Shaun will figure out that Bethany has told either me or her and tell her not to tell people things

Bethany will be annoyed at me for telling Carla

I fucked up here but my question is: is it for the greater good that Carla knows this, will my friendship with Bethany be alright and did I manage to unfuck myself enough with my cover story of “oh we just weren’t sure bc you didn’t show up”

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Charming-Score-8804 on 2026-05-07 16:12:08+00:00.

I (23ftm) went up to my boyfriend’s place in September of last year so this isn’t recent but I’ve been thinking about it on and off since she gave birth.

His family is all pretty close so his sister and their siblings (twins that are 15) and his mom and some friends were all there.

Everyone (except the sister(Angela, fake name) and twins ofc) end up getting a bit tipsy and we find out that Angela, at 7 months pregnant has no idea what to name her baby

We start throwing around baby names

Michael

Juniper

Lucille

Jayden

Kayden

All the Ayden names actually

We were saying names we hated like Makayla or Shayne or Michelle that she absolutely shouldn’t use

I laugh and go “You could do something ‘unconventional’ like Gravity or Codeine they sound like princess names to me!” And then I laughed for literally five minutes and said “no no, don’t that’s awful just do like Lilly or something generic”

Well

Two months later and Angela’s family is blowing up my phone in the middle of a work day, I think my bf DIED or smthn so I call their mom and ask what’s going on is everyone okay, etc etc and she yells into the phone

“That dumbass named her baby gravity!”

I’m gobsmacked because??? What??? Actually???

Fully truly, that woman named her baby Gravity.

I do actually like the names I suggested but I have the wherewithal to know that in modern context they’re dumbass fucking names.

Almost posted this in AITA but I don’t it applies lmao I didn’t force her I merely suggested it as a joke. Lowkey tho I think she should’ve gone with Codeine because then at least she can shorten the name to Cody. What’s she gonna do with Gravity? Gravy???

TLDR: Suggested my friend name her baby Gravity as a joke while tipsy and the silly sod actually did it -_-

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SellMyDataMommy on 2026-05-10 06:30:59+00:00.

TL;DR: If somebody messages you on discord asking to minecraft, verify who they are first. It may get you caught up in a scraper scam.

Title is silly but the full thing is much more fucked up.

So I was minding my own business. It was a typical night. I got a message from a friend to play minecraft. It was very unseeming, very in character for them.

I downloaded REAL curseforge and uploaded a modpack this "friend" sent me. And that's when the hacker, whom we've been calling Doug, struck. The modpack was actually a scraper that got my account details and stole my discord backup codes. They changed the email and then deleted the confirmation email from my account.

I was able to recover my email account. I was not able to recover my discord. All of my other accounts that Doug scraped are safe. I changed the passwords immediately. I was pretty quick to kill the scraper and disconnect from wifi. My PC is safe. I did a fresh reinstall of windows just in case. Then came part 2.

I made a temporary discord account and got in contact with the scammer. It's looking like discord won't be helping me, so I figured I could have a new backup account just in case, and possibly trick Doug into giving me vital information that would protect others in the future. I was very careful and DO NOT do what I did, as it can be dangerous. I will add that I did not send Doug any funds. I merely got what I needed from him.

He went through his script of telling me how much my account was worth. I played along with him. And eventually, he made a very, VERY crucial mistake. Shoutout to whoever posted a screenshot of a cahsapp bitcoin purchase confirmation transaction on reddit. You may have saved so many people.

I cropped out the date and time and he fell for it hook line and sinker. Doug sent me his bitcoin wallet address. After going through a few portals, I confirmed it was a real wallet address, and he will be traceable through it all. I called my local non-emergency and reported the wallet immediately. I may not get my account back, but I can rest well knowing that he messed up big time.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/littleredbird1991 on 2026-05-09 03:40:16+00:00.

So I (34F) have been best friends with Ali (30F) for about 5 years now. She was in a long term relationship with a guy named “Rick” for a while but that went south around Christmas. She recently met a new guy and they have been going out for about a month.

Now I am someone who has a tendency to put my foot in my mouth when meeting new people, especially if there is pressure.

Recently, Ali told me she wants our extended friend group to meet her new boyfriend. She told us he is really shy and kind of reserved so to not be offended if he is a bit stand off ish. She also said he is rich. Like rolling in old family money, rich. She said he doesn’t like to talk about it, and she doesn’t want him to think she is just after his money. She also told me, explicitly, not to call him by her ex’s name, which, admittedly, I have done before. She also told us his name was Wallace, but he goes by Wally.

So me, my husband, my friends, and their partners all meet Ali and Wally at a bar downtown. I notice Wally isn’t really socializing with everyone so I go to introduce myself and my husband.

I walk up to Ali and Wally and say;

“Hi Ali, and you must be Rich”.

Ali looks at me like I’ve got three heads, then it hit me. I just called her current boyfriend the wrong version of her ex’s name! Okay, no problem, I can pull this off

I laugh and say “ha ha oops, I meant to say you’re Ali’s Wallet”

Now everyone is looking at me and I want go jump off the nearest balcony (but we’re on the ground floor, lucky me). And my husband swoops in and says “Nice to meet you WALLY”. He really enunciated everything so well. And my husband and Wally started talking. I ran to the bathroom.

Now I am in the bathroom of this bar, wondering if I can fake my ibs finally making my intestines fall out so I can go home and cry

TL;DR Rich Wallet!

(ps Wally or Ali if you find this I am so sorry)

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/twatomexus on 2026-05-09 10:48:27+00:00.

Thanks, u/gjas24, for the comment that said the dried sourdough starter can be stored in the freezer for years!

To be honest, after writing my original post, I felt horrible. To make matters even more awkward, my aunt said little when discussing the topic. While searching for a way to solve this problem, I saw people mentioning that storing backups in the freezer is common practice. I decided to search for them just to see if I was completely cooked, and it turned out that she did store several dried backups of the very same starter for the past several years (this time with labels saying Gerald Backup)!

Being very energetic and scattered-minded (as she most likely suffers from undiagnosed ADHD), it explains why she keeps such backups despite forgetting to inform everyone about them.

Of course, I haven’t told her yet. Instead, I took one of those samples and revived it gradually. Now I have placed it into a jar and added a brief note saying "sorry for being an IDIOT".

It looked like she was taken aback when I gave it to her, but then she chuckled and called me a dumbass, in the endearing way that she always does. She pointed out that she has been wanting to create some backups but just doesn’t get to it.

All is well now. She got her starter back, and I learned my lesson about not throwing away weird jars from the fridge without checking first.

Once again, thank you to u/gjas24 and all who replied. It turned out much better than I expected.

TL;DR: Found her secret dried backups in the freezer, revived one without telling her, gave it as a surprise. She wasn’t mad and we’re good.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MTGirlTheGamer on 2026-05-09 04:47:42+00:00.

TIFU yesterday I decided to make a burrito bowl since my mother was in town and it’s just something quick and easy to make. I had her go out and get me some jalapeños because I didn’t have any, but she came back with a different pepper and said that was all they had. She brought back Serrano peppers and for some reason the oil’s in these peppers will not leave my skin I thought I was able to wash off all of the oils so yesterday I just had to treat myself with a nice face wash. I put on my Noxzema. My skin starts burning that’s normal for Noxzema when I’m washing it off. I noticed my face has broken out and it was burning so then I put aloe lotion on it made it even worse. My skin was turning red and puffy. I was thinking there’s no way I still have pepper oils on my skin. Eventually I had to rewash my face with a cleanser and have my husband put baby Aquaphor all over my face today while I was at work, I noticed that my knuckles were on fire and keep in mind at this point. I’ve washed my hands a good 10 times. Now close to midnight I’m laying in bed with the skin under my thumbnails on fire so I decide what are the chances that it’s the oil so I lick my thumb by my nail and my tongue starts burning. Now I’m going to wash them another 20 times with various cleaning products. And yes, every time I get my face wet it burns.

TL-DR I use Serrano peppers yesterday and I can’t get the stuff off of my skin and everything hurts

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Artemis-The-Boogster on 2026-05-08 09:12:35+00:00.

Last night at around 1 AM I accidentally fell asleep on my couch with my phone unlocked, queue my cat seeing it and playing with it. She somehow opened my contacts (to the top of the alphabetical list I'm assuming) and ended up texting a girl I went to highschool with who I haven't spoken to in 3 years. It was 4 voice memos, all of me breathing, one of which being 2 minutes long. She also managed to send a couple random screenshots of emails I had in my camera roll.

Woke up ~4 hours later, noticed my phone wasn't plugged in and was on, and now I'm mortified. She hasn't responded yet and that may not be her number anymore but I feel like it's so much worse if that's a stranger's number now.

Weirdly my cat didn't do much of anything else other than typing out a text to my mom of gibberish and not sending it.

I quickly apologized to the girl and explained it was my cat playing with my phone while I slept, I really hope she didn't already see it, as she doesn't have read receipts on that I can tell.

TL;DR: Fell asleep with phone unlocked and cat sent voice memos of me breathing to someone I haven't talked to in 3 years.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FearLuna on 2026-05-08 03:17:34+00:00.

So this actually happened in 2008 but everyone I tell this story to loves it, so I thought I’d share.

Back in 2008, I was 18, I had just graduated high school and my older brother took me to Chicago for a Supernatural convention that I saved up for.

No parents, just me and my brother driving across states listening to music and being idiots. To fully understand this story, you need to picture me as Hot Topic throwing up all over me. Thick black eyeliner, giant teased blonde hair, bright colors.

While we were in Chicago, I convinced my brother to take me to Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery as I was an avid paranormal fan, but being 2008 finding the true path to the cemetery wasn’t straightforward, I had to hunt paranormal forums and websites as the original path was taken down by the town.

We finally found it and I was beyond excited because the cemetery sits near a pond that supposedly had ties to Al Capone dumping bodies there. Instead of this scaring me like a normal person, I thought it was the coolest thing imaginable. We wandered around filming with my brand new camcorder but the battery on the camcorder started draining really fast then died.

I was never able to get the camcorder to turn on again and to this day I still have it somewhere in my house, permanently shut.

Now here’s where I made a series of…choices.

I wanted souvenirs from the cemetery, but even teenage me thought taking pieces of gravestones was a bad idea because I didn’t want to get cursed.

So instead I took a couple small rocks from the dry river bed nearby. Then while leaving the woods I found a broken piece of porcelain on the ground and decided to pocket that too.

The night before, my brother and I had also stayed up partying pretty late and because I was 18 and gross in the way teenagers are, I decided not to shower before driving home since “I’m just sitting in the car anyway.” By the time we left the cemetery and headed back to New York, my makeup had smeared into full raccoon mode, my teased hair had become a tangled nest, and I was wearing this long white trench coat with thin black stripes on it.

At some point in Ohio around dusk, my brother finally let me drive, he resisted because I had just gotten my license but he was tired. He immediately fell asleep in the passenger seat while I drove through foggy dark Ohio.

Then suddenly a car came flying up behind me really aggressively and before I even had time to process what was happening, blue and red lights flashed me.

I had never been pulled over before and instantly panicked. I pulled over and the cop walked up to my brother’s side first. Since I was nervous and stupid, I assumed that meant he wanted to talk to my brother, so I just sat there silently while my brother answered questions.

Eventually the cop looked at me and asked why I wasn’t speaking and I honestly said, “I thought you wanted to talk to my brother because you were at his window.”

Apparently this irritated him because he immediately came to my side of the car and told me to step out. He walked me back to the cruiser, had me put my hands on the hood, and before frisking me asked if I had anything sharp in my pockets that could hurt him.

Now unfortunately I am a very honest person.

So I said, “No officer, just a couple of rocks.”

The man’s eyes lit up like a Christmas Display. He reached into my pocket at lightning speed, then pulled out his hand, staring at the rocks in total disbelief.

I looked down and added, “Oh, and a piece of porcelain.”

In my head, I thought he might be upset because technically porcelain could be sharp and I hadn’t specified it.

He sat me in the back of the cruiser while he ran my information and asked me multiple times how I knew my brother and what we were doing. Because I was nervous, I massively overshared and ended up explaining the entire plot of Supernatural to this man and telling him all about the convention and the haunted cemetery.

Eventually he explained he’d pulled me over because I was drifting over the fog line a little. Which, to be fair, it was dark, foggy.

He let me go with a warning.

When I got back in the car, I finally looked in the mirror and really saw myself for the first time that night. The smeared eyeliner, the teased hair, the trench coat, the shaking, the rocks and broken porcelain in my pockets. Then it hit me.

I looked over at my brother and said, “I think that cop thought I was a crack addict.”

Then I made my brother drive the rest of the way home because I was too traumatized to continue.

TL;DR: After visiting one of America’s most haunted cemeteries in 2008, I took a few rocks home as souvenirs, got pulled over later that night looking completely unhinged, and calmly informed a cop I had “just a couple of rocks” in my pocket during a frisk.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Majestic-Baby-3407 on 2026-05-08 04:11:24+00:00.

I've been renting a house for over 3 years and today there was a mandatory HVAC inspection. The technician asked me how long it's been without a filter and I realized it hasn't had one since I moved in over 3 years ago. I looked back in my old texts with my landlord and saw that I had texted him right after moving in that the airflow around the house was weak and there was this weird raggedy blue thing sticking out of a slot in front of the furnace. I sent him a picture and asked if it was a filter and if it could be removed. I took it out and it seemed to help, and he never responded to that message so I just promptly forgot about it until the tech asked me today how long it hasn't had a filter. When I showed the tech the same picture he said it was an old-school washable air filter. Fuck me.

The guy said all the internal components are probably gunked up with dirt and dust, but it would cost thousands of $$$ to properly take apart and fix. I have a fairly clean house but also lots of pets. I just don't know how fucked the thing is really. I did notice over all these years the air flow was always weak and uneven across the house. The ground floor got very little air flow and the basement a lot more. If it was really cold in the winter the house could not stay warm, really hot in the summer and it could not cool down. Again, in both cases, the ground floor was more of the issue. I always wondered what was wrong with it and could never figure it out. I just wonder if I accidentally broke it by never replacing the filter and that's what caused the issues. Also I believe it was a brand new system when we moved in as the house is a flip and I feel bad that it may be fucked.

TL;DR I have been living in a house for 3 years without an air filter in the HVAC system...probably ruined it and have been unnecessarily cold or hot all this time

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/splattercat360 on 2026-05-08 02:02:22+00:00.

For some reason this is genuinely the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. I'm sure we've all seen those videos of people dropping their phones perfectly down that little crack at the elevator door and the poor phone just disappearing into the void. WELL. Today that was me :)))

I pulled out my phone to check the time right when the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor but there were people waiting to get on, and because my nervous system can't tell the difference between being ambushed by a mountain lion and seeing people when you get out of the elevator, I got startled and dropped my phone. Uh oh. The crazy thing is that I literally KNEW it was going to fall down the crack the moment it left my hand. It's like I had a Final Destination vision. All I could do was stare helplessly as my phone tumbled to its demise.

Anyway god knows how long it'll be until they send someone to retrieve the phone from the bottom of the shaft so now I have no way to communicate with the outside world and I can't log in to any of my school stuff because my 2-factor authentication is on my phone. AND the phone is probably fucking destroyed since it fell down 3 fucking floors and a basement level!!

TLDR: I dropped my phone 4 stories down an elevator shaft and I didn't even get a viral video out of it. Fuck my life.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/twatomexus on 2026-05-07 21:21:14+00:00.

This happened three days ago, and I’m still a bit embarrassed by it.

I volunteer at my aunt’s little bakery shop every weekend. No big deal; just prep work and attending to customers. Cleaning the bakery counter is one of my regular duties, which includes taking the sourdough starter from the refrigerator so it warms up before she comes in at nine. This particular sourdough starter is about four years old, and she has nicknamed it Gerald. It even has its own shelf.

I am no baker, but I know enough to be dangerous.

And that day, at 6:30 AM, I arrived tired and operating on autopilot. I did my regular sweeping routine to get ready for opening. I wiped down the countertops and organized the refrigerator, disposing of anything that looked like it belonged to a museum collection.

You get the idea.

Gerald was shoved way into the back of the fridge behind a sheet pan. He was sitting inside a regular old mason jar without any kind of labeling on him whatsoever. He smelled quite bad if I am being honest. I dumped him out, cleaned the jar, and placed it into the dish rack to dry, patting myself on the back for having done such a good job.

Not even ten minutes later, I went to go retrieve Gerald to begin warming him up, only to find out that he was missing. The realization of how bad things could be hit me almost immediately.

I began sending frantic texts to my aunt, who got right back to me in record time, which may I add is the fastest she has ever gotten back to me considering once I sent her a message informing her that I got into a car accident.

She was not angry in the sense that I had heard her yell before; rather, she seemed calm in her anger. All she did was say the word "okay" in a very controlled tone of voice.

The next two hours I spent assisting customers and feeling like I was standing in the principal’s office waiting for my turn.

After a bit of staring at the empty jar, she sighed “well” and went on with her day. She did look very professional about it with customers around. But I know that she felt disappointed. As a side comment she told me that her starter used to be part of her friend’s, who owned a fairly old one, and she’d nurtured her starter for years, but “it takes some time to build something up.”

She doesn’t blame me in the least. She acknowledged that those things do happen and it was all her fault - as she forgot to label it. But she said it in the way where you can tell the person is being gracious and you don’t really deserve it.

So I decided to order her a book about sourdough and a pretty new jar as an apology. She answered with the thumbs up emoji, which coming from my aunt is kind of hard to decipher.

Anyway. Please label your starters. And anything else in a kitchen that can potentially confuse someone. Assume everyone helping you in there are complete idiots.

TL;DR: Cleaned out the bakery fridge on autopilot, accidentally threw away my aunt’s four-year-old sourdough starter, she was gracious about it in a way that made me feel worse.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Interesting-Ask-3334 on 2026-05-07 20:50:45+00:00.

I just scared the crap out if my boss for the umpteenth time lol.

When growing up my dad would take me hunting with him. He used to make fun of me because I walked so loudly through the brush.

So I started practicing walking quietly... literally everytime I walked. To and from class, on the way home, on the way to the bathroom. Didn't matter where ever I walked, it was done quietly.

So over the years my normal walk has become almost silent, I am also pretty introverted so I'm just quiet in general. Because of all this I am constantly sneaking up on people on accident at work. Add to this I am 6 foot and 250lb, I can understand people's shock when all of a sudden I am behind them, or in the doorway waiting for their attention.

Its gotten to the point that when I am walking to people at work I will fake cough or clear my thoat. Ive gone so far as to buy squeaky shoes, but its like I subconsciously learn how to walk quietly in them. All this just to try and announce my presence to any poor unsuspecting people, not ready for the chubby accountant ninja.

TL;DR: Dad made fun of my loud walk as a kid while hunting, inadvertently causing me to train myself into being the perfect jumpscaring machine.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Stikostika on 2026-05-07 14:21:50+00:00.

I am 21 years old. I picked up a bad nicotine habit in high school during the height of the JUUL craze when i was about 15-16 years old. At first it wasn't really anything that bad. I would bum a few hits off of a friend in the bathroom or on the bus ride home, but i wasn't actively seeking out nicotine. Really, only taking it when offered to me. The head buzz felt nice, and I hadn't really been exposed to weed or anything, so it was really the only thing i could get my hands on to make me feel nice in the head or "high" in a sense. So it was an every couple of days thing.

A few rips here and there, I thought no harm could come from it. A friend of mine offered me a cheap disposable vape that he had bought but didn't like, so i took it off his hands and started puffing on it in between classes, and a little bit when i was home, but again, I didn't feel dependent on the entire thing.

Fast forward a year or two, and the habit had grown to be pretty bad.

Due to me being like 16-17 years old at the time and not being able to just go to the corner store and buy pods for myself, I started buying them off of some other kid that would charge me like $40 for a single disposable vape that would maybe last a week if i was lucky. The nicotine cravings started to really get to me. I felt like I could barely go 30 minutes without hitting something.

This habit followed me until earlier this year. I decided that my new years resolution was going to be to quit vaping, because at this time I was starting to have breathing issues and chest pains and had a health scare with a close relative due to her lifelong smoking habit.

I tried going cold turkey... didn't even make it a day.

Dried using patches... nothing.

Nicotine gum?... nope.

Nothing i did could seem to help me break the habit of constantly sucking on an electric cancer stick.

Finally a friend told me about Zyn. Told me that he switched to them instead of vaping and it worked for him, so I said fuck it.

Took myself down to the gas station and got a can of 3mg Mint Zyns, and gave one a try.

Burned like absolute hellfire. Took it out of my mouth like 2 minutes after I put it in.

A few hours later, I tried again. Maybe made it like 10 minutes with that one. Slowly, I got used to the burn, but I was still vaping. The pouches just didn't give me the same hit. So the next day, I went back and got a can of 6mg.

Those took a few minutes, but they eventually gave me the hit i wanted, and i noticed i was vaping less when i used them, but it still wasn't much. To try to combat the vaping habit I got a nicotine free vape and slowly weened myself off of hitting the vape by trying to make my brain realize that it would only get the hit from the pouches from then on, and over the course of like a week or so it worked.

I was completely off of vaping and was onto pouches. Good for me. Hurray. *applause, drumroll, studio cheering*

But after a while, i got used to the pouches and wanted more. So I bought a can of some random brand in 8mg. Those hit better, but not as much as I would like, but i put up with it.

After a while I stepped up to 9... then to 12... then to 15...

When i first got to the 15mgs, i realized at first. 3 pouches would sate me for an entire day, then it crept up to 4, then to 5.

Slowly, that nice head feeling faded away. Now I'm at a point where I go through about 8-9 pouches (half a can) a day. Yes, i technically DID get off of vaping, my nicotine addiction as a whole just got worse.

Now I have a whole new fucking problem to deal with.

TL;DR: Tried to get off of vaping, but made my entire nicotine addiction worse by using snus

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Aromatic_Yogurt_4891 on 2026-05-07 01:54:44+00:00.

this happened yesterday and i have been replaying it in my head every 11 minutes

so i (29f) had a dentist appointment for the first time in almost two years. not because i’m anti-dentist or anything, i just kept rescheduling because life got busy and then it became one of those shame tasks where the longer you avoid it, the more impossible it feels to do

anyway, i finally went

my dentist is this very nice older guy named Dr. Martin. he’s been my dentist since i was a teenager and has always been extremely calm and polite. the kind of man who says “little pinch” before doing something that is absolutely not a little pinch

important context, i had a baby last year

his name is Martin

not because of the dentist

my husband’s grandfather was named Martin and we both loved the name. normal family-name situation. completely unrelated to teeth

so i’m in the chair, wearing the little paper bib, trying to act like a grown adult while the hygienist scrapes my soul out through my gums

she’s making small talk and asks if anything changed since my last visit

i say “yeah, actually i had a baby”

she does the whole sweet reaction and asks his name

i say “Martin”

she pauses

not long. just enough

then she smiles and goes “oh wow, Dr. Martin is going to love that”

and i immediately realize how this sounds

i laughed and said “oh no, not because of him”

which, in hindsight, is one of the worst sentences i could have chosen

because now it sounds like i had considered naming my child after my dentist and wanted to clarify that i did not

she laughed politely and said “of course”

but it was not an “of course”

it was a dental office “of course”

a few minutes later Dr. Martin walks in

the hygienist, because apparently chaos is included in the cleaning, says:

“guess what she named her baby”

i wanted the chair to recline all the way into the earth

Dr. Martin looks at me, smiling, and says “oh?”

and i could have just said “family name” immediately

i could have been normal

instead, because my mouth was dry and my brain was offline, i said:

“Martin. but not after you.”

silence

just complete silence except for the tiny sink gurgling next to my face

then i added, for some insane reason:

“not that you wouldn’t be a good person to name a baby after”

why did i say that

why did i imply my dentist had been evaluated as baby-name material

Dr. Martin did this very gentle laugh and said “well, that’s good to know”

the hygienist turned away but i could see her shoulders moving

then he started checking my teeth like nothing had happened, which somehow made it worse because now this man’s fingers were in my mouth while we both had to live with the knowledge that i had just told him he was nameworthy but not selected

and because i was nervous, i kept trying to fix it

every time he asked me to bite down or turn my head, i would find a new way to make it worse

“it’s my husband’s family name”

normal

“we didn’t name him after any medical professional”

not normal

“i mean, we like you, obviously”

horrifying

at one point he said “you may feel some pressure” and i, fully panicking, said “yeah, emotionally too”

i don’t think he heard me

i hope he didn’t hear me

at the end of the appointment, he said “tell little Martin I said hello”

which was obviously a kind, harmless thing to say

but my brain interpreted it as “i will remember this forever”

then the receptionist asked if i wanted to schedule my next cleaning in six months

and i said yes because i am trying to be responsible

but now i have six months to decide if i need to switch dentists or bring my child in and somehow prove he was named after a dead relative and not the man who does my fillings

tl;dr: went to the dentist, mentioned my baby is named Martin, accidentally made my dentist Dr. Martin think there was a possibility my child was named after him, then spent the entire appointment making it worse while he had dental tools in my mouth

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tifu3 on 2026-05-07 15:41:03+00:00.

Edit: I am a girl since it wasnt obvious lol

This happened yesterday and I still haven’t emotionally processed it.

I’m moving across the state for a new job, which sounded manageable until I remembered I own three cats and none of them contribute financially. One of them is my older cat, Beans. Beans is calm, wise, and constantly looks like he regrets every life decision that led him to me. The other two are orange kittens, which means they are powered entirely by violence and curiosity.

The drive itself was chaos from the beginning. One kitten screamed every time I slowed down. The other somehow stepped in his own poop and then sprinted around the carrier spreading the damage like a tiny biohazard event. Beans sat in the corner of the carrier staring at all of us with exhausted disappointment. A few hours in, I made the mistake of slightly opening the carrier at a gas station to fix a blanket. One kitten escaped immediately. He disappeared under the passenger seat while shrieking like he was being tortured. I had to climb halfway across the center console in public trying to drag out this tiny orange idiot while strangers watched through their windows pretending not to stare.

After that I became paranoid about opening the doors at all. The kittens had absolutely no survival instincts. If I opened a car door, one of them was eventually going to make a run for freedom straight into traffic. So by the time I’d been driving for around seven hours and realized I desperately needed to pee, I had a serious problem. I kept trying to hold it. Then I tried distracting myself. Then I reached the point where my bladder basically started sending threats. Finally I pulled onto the shoulder of a quiet road to figure something out. That’s when I noticed the giant empty iced coffee cup sitting in my cupholder. And yes, I KNOW this sounds insane. But I was exhausted, stressed, and trapped in a rolling cat prison. If I stayed inside the car, I wouldn’t have to open the doors. If I didn’t open the doors, the kittens couldn’t escape. Simple.

So I climbed awkwardly into the backseat with the empty cup and prepared to sacrifice the last shreds of my dignity. Immediately the kittens decided this was the most exciting thing that had happened all day. One climbed onto my shoulder. The other kept trying to crawl into my lap. Beans stayed in the carrier silently judging everyone involved. Meanwhile I’m twisted sideways in the backseat with my shorts around my thighs trying to line up a plastic coffee cup underneath myself without spilling pee all over the upholstery. The lid was already off the cup because I’d thrown it away earlier. And because I was concentrating so hard on not ruining my car forever, I never heard another vehicle pull up behind me.

Apparently my hazard lights made it look like I’d broken down. So while I’m mid pee in the backseat of my car like some kind of raccoon in human form, a random guy pulls over to help. I had zero warning. The first thing I heard was a sudden knock on the passenger side window beside me. I almost died. I turned and there was this middle aged guy standing outside the car looking genuinely concerned.

“Hey, are you okay in there?”

And then he looked down. Now unfortunately, because of the angle I was sitting at trying to aim into this stupid cup, this poor man had a completely unobstructed view of the entire situation. There was absolutely no way to misunderstand what he was seeing. Me half naked in the backseat. Coffee cup actively in use. Orange kitten climbing my shoulder like a mountain goat.

I watched his expression change from Helpful Stranger to Immediate Psychological Damage in real time. And naturally, the second I panicked, my hand jerked and some pee splashed over the side of the cup onto the seat and my hand. I made this horrible strangled noise and quickly set the cup down beside me so I could grab napkins and wipe up the spill before it spread everywhere. THIS is where things somehow became even worse. One of the kittens immediately wandered over toward the cup. At first my brain didn’t process what was happening. Then I realized with absolute horror that this disgusting little orange creature was trying to DRINK from it.

I panicked. Without thinking, I lunged across the backseat to grab the cup away from him before he could actually drink my pee. Unfortunately, because I was still half naked and twisted sideways, lunging forward basically shoved my entire bare ass directly toward the passenger window. Toward the passenger window where the guy was STILL STANDING. So now this poor man, who originally stopped because he thought I might need roadside assistance, is suddenly staring through the window at my completely exposed butt while I desperately wrestle a cup of pee away from a kitten.

I cannot emphasize enough how silent everything became. Like absolute vacuum silence. I finally grabbed the cup and whipped around in horror. The guy had the expression of someone who had just witnessed an ancient curse. He looked away SO fast. Like violently fast. He actually put one hand over his eyes and started backing away from the car. And because my brain had fully stopped functioning at this point, I yelled:

“HE WAS TRYING TO DRINK IT.”

As if that clarified literally anything. The man just kept backing away while nodding rapidly.

“Okay.”

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

That was all he said. Not a single complete sentence. Just the verbal equivalent of a man trying to escape a haunted house alive. Then he practically sprinted back to his truck and drove away. Meanwhile I was left sitting half dressed in the backseat holding a warm cup of pee while one kitten tried to climb my leg and Beans stared at me with an expression usually seen in war documentaries. I still had three hours left in the drive after that. Every time someone glanced at my car at a stoplight I became convinced this man had somehow already gone viral describing “the roadside cat pee lady.

Anyway. I made it to my new apartment. The cats are alive. And somewhere out there is a deeply traumatized Good Samaritan who will probably never stop to help another stranded motorist again.

Tldr; Moving with 3 cats. Had to pee. Too scared to open the doors because the kittens would escape. Tried peeing into an iced coffee cup in the backseat instead. Guy stopped thinking I was stranded. Saw everything through the window. Spilled pee. Kitten tried drinking it. Bent over naked trying to stop him. Accidentally gave the poor man a full view of my bare ass.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NotSmilingAnymore on 2026-05-07 14:47:51+00:00.

Yesterday I made the mistake of visiting my parents unannounced. When I arrived, my mom and dad were in the middle of an argument. What they were arguing about, I did not know and I did not care. All I wanted to do was defuse the tension with some wholesome son energy, so I asked my mom what she wanted as a gift for mother's day. She looked at me with the same intensity she was looking at my dad while they were fighting before telling me to get her "one of those lifelike male sex dolls" because my dad has apparently given up on good sex in his 40s. I got up and said that was my cue to leave. My dad jumped in and encouraged me to not allow my mom to chase me away, which prompted my mom to tell my dad to stop chasing HER away and start acting like he still cared about getting laid.

My dad asked my mom why should he care about getting laid when she just asked me to purchase a sex doll for her. Before my mom could answer, I made it clear to both my parents that I was not planning to order any sex dolls for anyone ever. My dad encouraged me to order the sex doll and make my mom's mother's day special for both of them because then she can yell at the fucking sex doll for not choking her or slapping her ass hard enough in the bedroom. I literally covered my ears and said goodbye. My mom stopped me from leaving and said she needed to give me some leftover pie. I begged my mom to please make it quick because I already heard more than I ever wanted to hear. My mom said quick was my dad's department.

My dad looked at me and said never use the word menopause in front of your wife because she might take it personally and leave you for a sex doll. At that moment my mom handed me the pie and promised me there was more where that came from if I made sure the sex doll looked like Henry Cavill. My dad put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me for using my resources to hopefully replace him with someone who would always be available to listen to my mom complain about their neighbours skinny dipping during the day. I said I was leaving now and I left... traumatised.

Tl:dr Visited my parents for some clean, peaceful family time, but ended up getting ambushed to buy a sex doll for my mom who believed her sex life was jeopardy.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/throwaway_burnt_beef on 2026-05-07 06:38:06+00:00.

Using a throwaway for reasons that will become very obvious very quickly.

This story begins at my college graduation. Me and my friends (all girls) have a very crass sense of humor, and somehow we ended up on the topic of all the horrendously naughty things we’d do to celebrate our official entry into the grown adult world. One of my friends joked about wanting to be smoother than a dolphin’s ass before we went out to the bars that night, and that got me thinking, then googling. I realized very quickly that a brazilian wax would cost a pretty penny that my fresh-out-of-college-and-unemployed self didn’t have, and that’s when I came across a Reddit post about the best hair removal creams on the market. That leads us to today’s fuck-up.

A few hours later while on my biweekly grocery store trip, I remembered that conversation with my friends and my subsequent discovery of that Reddit post. Out of curiosity, I made my way to the personal care aisle and perused the wide array of hair removal creams on the shelf. I made my selection and went on my merry way, blissfully unaware of the hell I was in for.

At home, I went about my usual routine to prep for a night out. I showered, exfoliated, washed my hair, and was about to reach for my razor, when I remembered the little pink bottle I had just stored in my cabinet. Giddy and eager to try out my new at-home grooming hack, I pulled it out and skimmed through the instructions. This was my first mistake.

The label said to leave the cream on for 6 minutes at most, so that obviously means set a timer for 6 minutes and wash it off then, right? It also read “suitable for bikini area,” so obviously it’s totally fine to slather it absolutely everywhere, right? Right?

I applied the cream, set my timer, and continued on with my shower routine, completely ignorant to the hellish torment I had just unleashed upon my nether regions. At first, I didn’t feel anything except an odd, if slightly unpleasant cooling sensation in my lady bits. I figured that was just the cream working its magic and thought nothing of it. That was my second and most fatal mistake. The timer went off, I washed off the cream, and most of my hair off with it. I was absolutely delighted. As I got dressed, I did notice slight sensitivity down there, but I, again, thought nothing of it as I continued getting ready.

I proceeded to have an absolute blast with my friends, taking shots and letting guys buy me drinks and enjoying my status as a recent graduate. Eventually though, the substantial amount of drinks I had caught up with me and I had to hit the ladies’ for a quick pee. I bade goodbye to the very sweet guy I’d been talking to, them staggered into a stall and collapsed onto the toilet with a big, dozy smile on my drunk face. That vanished almost instantly as the stream began.

With it came the most agonizing burning sensation I have ever felt in my life. The pain I felt is easily comparable to taking a potato peeler to my lady bits and seasoning them with salt and freshly ground black pepper, then proceeding to pan-fry them until well-done. I immediately shot up off the toilet, glaring at it as if it had personally wronged me. I wondered for a moment if I had accidentally sat on a radiator at some point in the night. Then I remembered. The hair removal cream.

At that point it was too late, and I desperately had to pee. After an awkward ten minutes of trying as hard as possible to achieve laminar flow with my pee and failing fantastically, I wobbled back to the bar to make my excuses to the poor guy I’d just left standing with my drink.

Cut to a few hours later, me and that guy are back at my apartment, and I don’t think I need to explain what we were doing. Things were happening, vibes were flowing, when it comes time for the main event. Things go wrong at first contact. Immediately my bits catch fire, and I recoil from him instantly. My heart drops as I realize I won’t be able to have sex with this beautiful man, all because I decided to take a test run of gonorrhea symptoms.

I awkwardly make up some excuse to get him out of my apartment and proceed to spend the next hour slathering my bits in aloe vera gel and sitting on an ice pack, my blue balls hurting about as much as both my ego and my lady bits.

TL;DR, I gave myself a chemical burn on my lady bits with hair removal cream, and will be wary of anything coming near, in, or out of my downstairs area for the foreseeable future. As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Deje-Joppich86 on 2026-05-07 03:58:19+00:00.

This happened during a stressful workday and I genuinely considered changing careers afterward.

My team has been insanely busy lately, so everyone’s tired and moving on autopilot. Near the end of the day, my boss called me to go over some deadlines and project updates. The conversation was completely normal until we wrapped things up.

Now, every single day I call my girlfriend during lunch, and we always end conversations with “love you.” Apparently my brain decided all phone calls now follow the same script.

As my boss finished talking, she said, “alright, talk tomorrow.”

Without thinking, I immediately replied, “okay, love you too.”

The second the words left my mouth, my soul exited my body.

There was a full two seconds of silence before she awkwardly coughed and said, “uh… yep. have a good evening.”

I panicked and hung up instantly instead of attempting recovery like an adult.

The next morning somehow made it worse. When I walked into the office, two coworkers were grinning at me like they already knew. Apparently my boss had told another manager because she thought it was hilarious.

Now every time I leave work someone jokingly says “bye, love you.”

This will apparently follow me forever.

TL;DR: Accidentally told my boss “love you too” after a work call and became the office joke overnight.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Milano_Vast on 2026-05-07 03:23:48+00:00.

My neighbor has this giant golden retriever that everyone loves. Every time I walk past, people are petting him, taking pictures, talking about how friendly he is. Meanwhile every interaction I’ve had with this dog has felt weirdly judgmental.

Today I decided I was finally going to win him over.

I bought one of those fancy dog treats from a pet store and waited until my neighbor was outside walking him. I approached confidently, crouched down, and held out the treat like some kind of dog whisperer.

The dog stared directly into my soul.

Then he took the treat incredibly gently… and immediately spit it onto my shoe.

Not beside my shoe. ON my shoe.

My neighbor burst out laughing while I just sat there frozen trying to process being personally rejected by an animal.

But somehow I still thought I could recover.

So I reached out to pet him and this dog slowly turned around and leaned his entire body against my neighbor instead. Like he was actively seeking emotional support to survive interacting with me.

A random woman walking by actually said “aww guess he picked his favorite person.”

I have never felt more humbled in my life.

TL;DR: Tried extremely hard to become friends with my neighbor’s dog and got publicly rejected by a golden retriever.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Trying-2-listen on 2026-05-06 23:43:04+00:00.

So I work in Construction and my current job is on huge Pharmaceutical Plant for Johnson and Johnson built by Jacobs construction. Today for all the workers they had a giant Pork BBQ. The line was about a 15 min wait, and it went past on of the white boards with an outline for the work site, and it had a bunch of magnets on it.

As we were waiting in line, my coworker goes, "It would be funny someone drew a Penis on the white board." So I turned around and organize the magnets into a penis shape.

Two big magnets (a lil bigger than a golden dollar coin) with smiley faces. And four-5 small magnets for the shaft of the Penis.

We chuckled a bit and continued on in the line and got some BBQ.

As we were eating we noticed how there were a lot of people dressed in corporate attire getting in the lift, I thought little of it.

Until, at the end of the shift, our general foreman gathered us into the huddle and says, "The higher ups from Jacobs and Johnson and Johnson were on site today to do a site visit and enjoy the BBQ, and while waiting in line, saw a lewd object on the whiteboard. If you did it, then you have 24 hours to fess up and keep your job. Otherwise they will see who did it on the cameras."

I nervously fessed up to my boss in private, and he didnt believe it was me at first.

Anyways, has anyone gone through something like this? Will they suspend me? Will they actually fire me? Does this count as Sexual Harrasment?

I am really nervous, because I just started this job and really need the cash. Had I known there were execs and higher ups going through the area I would not have defaced the board.

I will update yall as to how my meeting goes with them tomorrow. Hopefully its just a slap on the wrist and verbal warning, I hope they don't renege on the initial offer of letting me keep my job for confessing.

Pray for me!

TLDR: TIFU by organizing magnets into a penis on the work whiteboard, and all the visiting execs and leaders at the company saw it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AllCoffeeNoOmelete on 2026-05-06 22:15:05+00:00.

So to keep it vague for privacy reasons, I'll say that I (F,30s) work with a company that goes to different locations and trains people within a program. The people we train can only take the course once. I've done this job for a year now and I've never seen a past trainee again, even though we go to the same locations. **Also Im a worker in the program, I'm not a lead or authoritative role.

So a few weeks ago, there was a trainee (M,30s) who was cute and was giving me signs: touching my arm several times, heavy eye contact, going out of the way to thank me for small things. Didn't do that with others. My coworkers were like "hes cute, ask him out!" I was weary at first. Lowkey shy, I never ask guys out. I thought if he asked me for my number, id give it. At the end of training he touched my arm again. But since the training was over and we were leaving, I thought fuck it. I asked him for his number (he confirmed he was single). And after he gave it, our nice-to-meet-you handshake lingered.

Later, I texted him so he'd have my #.....He answers 2 days later. We exchanged maybe 6 texts between us, each one taking him days to respond. At one point he doesn't ask a question to cont. the convo and I thought about letting it rock. But I responded and he asked when am I usually free. I tell him... and then I never hear from him again.

Which is fine, I just ended something with someone I really really liked, so I was just looking for a rebound. Have some fun. So after a week of not hearing from him, I blocked him and deleted his number. I thought that would be the end of it.

Except I saw him today. I had training. He was walking with his coworker. I'm in front of him but we all 3 end up taking the elevator down together. I dont look at him, he dont look at me....until I get off the elevator. Then I hear him whisper to his coworker to hold on, as in stop walking. Then I hear him whisper to her and shes like uh huh and then he whispers and she said that's her and laughs and says sorry thats funny.

So yea they were talking bout me.

Yall, I never see trainees after training. Wtf is this haha 🙄 Im feeling embarrassed bc i NEVER ask out guys. Yeah that's not happening again lol I'm more mad at myself for not saying something to him, especially when I was laughed at. Im not mad at him, I just dont need to feel childish bc Im going to be working at that location again and dont need it to be weird if I see him.

TL;DR: I fucked up by shooting my shot with a "one-time-only" trainee, getting ghosted, and then running into him at work...

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Fluffy-Jules on 2026-05-06 03:47:36+00:00.

Obligatory this didn’t happen today, but yesterday.

So I (F, new-ish mom) had a baby 9 months ago and I’m still pumping breast milk. I went back to work 7 months ago, but I’ve been working from home thanks to a special arrangement with my new boss. Important detail: I switched departments 5 months ago, so I had never actually met him in person before yesterday — only through online meetings.

Since I decided not to stop pumping yet (because, you know, baby > convenience), I had to figure out how to handle this in the office. Obviously I’m not about to do that in an open-plan workspace so I did what I thought was a very smart thing: I booked a meeting room via Teams during my lunch break so I could pump in peace.

Fast forward to yesterday. I grab my laptop, my pumping equipment and confidently walk to the meeting room.

And then… I see it.

Displayed in big, beautiful letters on the digital screen outside the room:

“Pumpen” (German for “pumping”).

At first, I just completely lose it laughing. Like full-on, can’t-breathe laughter. I immediately take a picture because this is too good not to share with my friends.

And of course in that exact moment, I hear:

“Hi [my name]!”

I turn around… and there he is. My boss. Standing right next to his office which just so happens to be directly next to the meeting room. Smiling, happy to finally meet me in person.

He asks why I’m laughing.

So I have to explain, while standing right next to a screen that basically announces to the world what I’m about to do in that room.

He looks at the screen.

Pauses.

Starts laughing.

And then makes a very quick, slightly panicked exit clearly realizing exactly what I’m about to do in there.

So yeah. That was our first real life interaction.

I would like to formally apply to be swallowed by the earth now.

TL;DR: Booked a meeting room at work to pump breast milk, forgot the title is displayed outside, accidentally announced it to the whole office and introduced myself to my boss that way.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FreedmanX on 2026-05-06 11:29:00+00:00.

Obligatory this happened yesterday, and my apartment still smells like I made a bad decision in every room.

For context, I live in a small apartment and for the last few days there has been this weird sewer smell coming from somewhere near the bathroom. Not constant, but it would hit randomly and then fade. I thought maybe the trash was the problem, so I took it out. Then I cleaned the sink. Then I cleaned the toilet. Still sewer.

Instead of being a normal adult and calling maintenance, I decided I could handle it.

My first idea was air freshener. Didn’t work. It just made the bathroom smell like “spring meadow” laid over a public restroom.

Then I sprayed some perfume because my logic was apparently “expensive smell beats bad smell.” It did not. Now it smelled like a sewer pipe got ready for a date.

Then I remembered I had some lemon cleaning spray under the sink, so I sprayed that around the bathroom too. At this point I had sewer smell, fake flowers, perfume, and lemon all fighting for dominance in one tiny room.

My Fuck Up

I kept adding smells instead of finding the source.

After about twenty minutes, the whole apartment smelled worse than before. Not just bad, but thick. Like I could taste it. I opened the windows, turned on a fan, and sat in my bedroom questioning my entire education.

Eventually my neighbor came over because the smell had somehow drifted into the hallway. I had to explain that no, nothing died in my apartment, I just tried to solve plumbing with perfume.

Maintenance came this morning and found the actual issue. The bathroom floor drain was dry, so sewer gas was coming up through it. The guy poured water into the drain and told me to do that occasionally if I don’t use it much.

That was it. Water. The answer was water.

TL;DR: Tried to cover a sewer smell with air freshener, perfume, and lemon cleaner instead of calling maintenance. Made my apartment smell much worse, annoyed my neighbor, and found out the fix was pouring water into a dry floor drain.

Also, for future reference, how are you actually supposed to deal with sewer smell before turning your bathroom into a chemical fruit swamp?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Typical_Goat8035 on 2026-05-06 14:37:17+00:00.

So in my college days I loved watching action movie franchises like the Jason Bourne ones and my friends at the time suggested I should watch The Mechanic with Jason Statham. So as one does, I grabbed a copy off BitTorrent and watched it. I was pretty confused -- the movie had long awkward pauses. There were random boom mics swinging around in the frame or a camera guy that Jason Statham awkwardly pretends he can't see. The explosions and special effects looked like someone's first attempt at Windows Movie Maker. I assumed this was meant as like a Rush Hour or Snakes On A Plane sort of movie where it's a cast having fun and not trying to produce a serious movie. But none of the jokes or cringe really landed.

So for almost 15 years I've given my hot take about the movie and I guess the movie is just mixed enough that some people agreed with me while others made fun of me for being a snobby movie critic. Until this last weekend where finally a friend was like "wait, cameraman? What the fuck are you talking about?". I actually still had a copy of that download and we all watched it together -- turned out it was an unfinished copy that leaked. The real movie had compelling special effects and no boom mics, and music to cover up the awkward moments where Jason Statham is trying to act so dramatic that it's cringe.

TLDR: Downloaded a pirated copy of an action movie, it was a leaked work-in-progress, assumed it was a Snakes On A Plane campy parody for 15 years.