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submitted 8 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Stunning-Air-9600 on 2026-06-01 10:40:55+00:00.


This happened slowly and then all at once so bear with me. Last january my dentist told me i had a small cavity forming on my lower left molar and that i should come back in 6 weeks to get it filled before it got worse. She was very clear, "don't wait on this one!!" her exact words. I nodded, said absolutely, booked the appointment, and then cancelled it three days later because i had work stuff and honestly it didn't hurt so how bad could it be.

I rescheduled. cancelled again. Told myself i'd go after the holidays. Then after my birthday, then when things calm down at work, things did not calm down at work btw. It didn't hurt. that was the thing. I kept using that as my excuse, no pain = no problem, right? right?

So fast forward to two weeks ago. I'm eating dinner, nothing crazy, just pasta and something happens in my mouth that i can only describe as a "wrongness" not even pain immediately, just wrong. I knew immediately, the way you know. The pain showed up about 4 hours later and it was not messing around. I'm talking waking up at 3am, can't think straight, whole left side of my face throbbing, took 800mg of ibuprofen and it took the edge off for maybe 90 minutes, i called in sick to work, which i have not done in 2 years. Went to dentist the next morning because they had same-day availability and at that point i would have gone literally anywhere. Sat in the chair looking like a man who had made poor life choices (accurate). Dentist pulls up my x-ray and does this little pause that no patient ever wants to see and goes so this has progressed quite a bit.

Yeah, i know, i was there for the whole journey, thanks 👍 .

What was a small cavity in january that would've been a routine $180 filling is now a full root canal + crown situation, we're talking $1,400 out of pocket after insurance. One thousand four hundred dollars because i couldn't find 45 minutes to go to an appointment for 8 months 👍 .

I'm not even mad at anyone else, that's the worst part. my dentist told me, she was so nice about it too which somehow makes it so much worse, i wanted her to yell at me, i deserved to be yelled at.

Currently eating on one side of my mouth, waiting for the follow-up appointment, and thinking about all the things i could've bought with $1,400 👀 . Do not be me, go to your appointments, i am begging you.

TL;DR dentist told me to come back in 6 weeks for a small filling, i ghosted her for 8 months, now i need a root canal and i'm $1,400 poorer and in constant pain, completely my fault.

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submitted 8 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Selkie_Love on 2026-06-01 10:23:57+00:00.


I've been around Reddit awhile. I've seen some of the epic length TIFU's. I always thought 'this wouldn't happen to me'.

Well. I am here to eat crow and smell flowers. BECAUSE I CAN ACTUALLY SMELL THEM!!

I was a sniffler as a kid. Which is why this is a TIFU.

I never really had a good sense of smell. People would need to point things out to me. I just didn't notice them. Yeah, flowers smelled like something when I stuck my nose in them and inhaled deeply, and I could smell garlic on a kiss. Really basic stuff with the strongest of smells.

I kept hearing how humans had a poor sense of smell, and figured what I was smelling was normal.

Eventually, I worked out that my sense of smell was diminished, and went to the doctor to get it checked out. He confirmed I did have a sense of smell, just a poor one, but since I was smelling? It wasn't actually an issue.

I figured there was no sense in crying over spilt milk. I wasn't going to smell things nearly as well as everyone else, but why let it be a problem? I accepted my sense of smell was shit, and moved on with my life. With the occasional frustrated comment from my wife. ("What do you mean, you can't smell that!?")

Plus, there were SOME benefits. Gross jobs weren't as gross. I couldn't tell the difference between 'fancy' versions of food and the 'basic' stuff. Hey, silver linings everywhere, right?

Then I got sick.

Not TERRIBLY sick, but it was a bad, bad viral cough that I couldn't shake. Then I got a secondary bacterial infection, and had to go to the doctor. She prescribed me penicillin for the bacterial infection... and while we're at it, a nasal steroid.

That steroid has been life-changing. I sprayed it, and I could FEEL my sinuses expand. It hurt, and I swear I could feel air in my forehead. Only on one side.

All this to say - I CAN SMELL STUFF NOW!

It's WILD. There's a whole world of scents and other stuff out there that I was completely missing!

Best we can tell, I sniffed so much as a kid that I completely packed my sinuses, or otherwise made them unhappy. Apply nasal steroid to the problem, they opened back up, and I can SMELL!

I'd say more on the topic, but I want to keep exploring stuff. Like... garlic smells REALLY strong, even in the kitchen. Who would've thunk?

TL;DR: No sense of smell for 30 years, now I have one!

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submitted 8 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/emokiddo00002 on 2026-05-31 06:01:21+00:00.


this is what i sent:

hank you for you kind response, this is my transcript. Isnit possible also to know, 

  • if i take an intensive corse to b1 would it still be possible for me to attend lessons and maybe understand s tinynoart of it but still take the exam in english
  • which german courses wiukdnyounraccoment that are less harder for someone spesking the langueage not so well ( examples, usic basic therms or only formulas eithout much german to understand)

kind regards,

this is what i sent the morning after:

Oh my God, I was falling asleep and didn't notice all the typos. This is the correct version. I'm so sorry about this.

Thank you for your kind response. This is my transcript.

I would like to ask a few questions regarding my future studies:

  • If I take an intensive course to reach B1 level, would it be possible for me to attend lessons and maybe understand a tiny part of them—while still taking the exams in English?

- Which German courses would you recommend that are less difficult for someone who does not speak the language very well? I am looking for options that focus on basic terminology or primarily use formulas.

-I have seen that the Engineering faculty offers courses in English. Would it be possible for me to take one, even if it is outside of my faculty?

Kind regards,

TL;DR: Sent an email to a professor about my academic future in Germany, but I was so tired I sent a complete disaster full of typos. Sent a "corrected version" the next morning—the cringe is real, hope he doesn't think i'm stupid

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submitted 20 hours ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/yacht_boy on 2026-06-01 02:07:45+00:00.


My good friend's mom died recently. My wife sent me a screengrab of the info and we agreed that I should go to the service to be there for him. I put it in the calendar about 10 days ago, and we both just went about our lives planning on me being gone from the house all day today.

So this morning I got myself out of bed at an unnaturally early hour for a Sunday, took a shower, grabbed a suit, drove 90% of the way, changed my clothes in a NY State rest area handicapped stall, and showed up at the designated time and place to find a bunch of locked doors. Went back to my text message thread with my wife to make sure I had the right address and noticed that it said "Saturday, May 30" and did a massive facepalm.

Called my friend but since he wasn't expecting me and he was with his family grieving his mom, he didn't pick up. Left a sheepish voice mail and sent him a text, hung around this random upstate NY town for an hour google stalking his dad and trying to figure out where he might live so I could swing by just to give him a hug, gave up and drove back to Boston.

I missed a weekend day with my wife and kids, spent $120 on gas and tolls, and my friend didn't even get to feel the love. But at least I got to eat a terrible overpriced chicken sandwich at McDonald's at a highway rest stop for lunch!

tl;dr I fucked up a calendar entry and drove over 400 miles for nothing

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PrataCedar on 2026-05-31 15:46:12+00:00.


This was two days ago and I keep randomly remembering it at inconvenient moments.

I left my previous job about three months ago, been applying around since. Got an interview last week at a place I actually wanted, did my research, felt okay going in. The hiring manager was relaxed, conversation was going fine, I was answering things without embarrassing myself.

Then she asked why I wanted to work there specifically. Standard question, I knew it was coming, I had an answer prepared.

I said I was really excited about the direction that my previous company's name was taking.

Not a stumble, not a half-correction. Full company name. The wrong one. Said with complete confidence.

She paused and said "sorry, you mean us?" I said yes, misspoke, sorry, and kept talking. I dont know what I said after that. Something came out of my mouth for the next thirty seconds but I wasnt processing any of it because part of my brain had just left the building.

The rest of the interview was fine I think. She said theyd follow up.

That was 48 hours ago. Still waiting. Every time my phone buzzes I look at it and then feel relieved and disappointed at the same time depending on what it is.

TL;DR Got asked why I wanted to work at a company, said the name of my previous employer instead. Interviewer corrected me. Still waiting to hear back and would prefer not to think about it but keep thinking about it.

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submitted 1 day ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AdoraBelleQueerArt on 2026-05-30 17:18:10+00:00.


So This actually happened last night and i am PAYING for it today. So every night i take an edible to knock my ass out b/c it’s the only thing that’s ever worked for insomnia (thank you IL & MMJ). While i was sitting in bed watching Suliyaki Western Django (it’s so good normally, but when that gummy hits…. dang - 10/10 do recommend) i accidentally ended up absentmindedly snacking on my Dreamsicle flavored magnesium glycinate gummies.

Clarifying edit: Magnesium citrate is the liquid form they give you to clear you out b/c it is a powerful laxative. Magnesium glycinate helps with sleep, stress, anxiety, etc. It takes a lot more of the 2nd to have a laxative effect.

While they’re not magnesium citrate i can attest to the fact that enough magnesium glycinate will keep you next to a bathroom and popping anti-diarrheals like crazy while crying “HOW IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT???? HOOOOW???????”

Not that i think it really matters, but i had also run out of munchies (i had planned to go grocery shopping today) so that too was working against me. But something similar has happened before like where i accidentally ended up munching on edibles and got too stoned to sleep - basically my brain doesn’t really work in that state and i should really prepare for that lolsob

I’ve learned my lesson and My gummies will now live in the bathroom to avoid this happening again. But now I'm prepared for my future colonoscopy prep. Solidarity to the Gen Xers going through those.

Please pray for me and my poor stomach (preferably rattling your drawers to Anoia)

TL;DR i absentmindedly ate too many (delicious) magnesium gummies while stoned last night and am now paying the price.

Edited to fix typos

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submitted 2 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BamutMoss on 2026-05-30 07:40:40+00:00.


This was three hours ago and I can still taste it.

I'm staying at my grandparents place for a few weeks. One bathroom between three people, various cups and things around the sink, grandad keeps his dentures in a glass overnight. I knew this. I walk past it every day.

Last night I woke up really thirsty and went to the bathroom half asleep. There was a glass on the shelf with clear liquid in it. I picked it up and drank most of it before anything registered.

It was not water.

I dont know how to describe the taste except that it was chemical and it went straight to the back of my throat and stayed there. I spat into the sink, ran the tap, cupped water directly into my mouth for probably longer than was dignified, brushed my teeth. Went back to bed. Could not sleep. Lay there in the dark thinking about the choices that had led me to this moment.

Looked up the product this morning. Not toxic in small amounts. I actually felt relieved which tells you something about how the night was going.

I rinsed the glass and refilled it and put his dentures back before he woke up. He made me tea this morning and asked if I slept well and I said yes fine thanks and that was that.

TL;DR Woke up thirsty, grabbed what I thought was water, drank most of my grandfather's denture solution in one go, survived, he has no idea, would prefer to keep it that way.

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submitted 2 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Self-proclaimed_god on 2026-05-30 01:02:28+00:00.


I play in my school orchestra. I have shitty health. I take medicine every night to ensure I don't suddenly die. (Over exaggerating here but they're necessary).

Usually we aren't allowed our phone on stage, but alas, I'm really fucking stupid and I forgot to leave it in the break room. I go on stage. I play. Everything seemed so well. I swear I was doing such a good job. First time I played so fluidly. Midway through the concert I feel a buzz in my pocket. My alarm for meds went off. I left my instrument with my friend and ran off the stage to close it. Came back, finished the whole concert after doing my best not to fuck up.

My friends found it funny.

Random people came up to me after to say seeing me mysteriously run off was amazing.

My classmates promised nobody heard anything.

People are trying to reassure me that nobody would remember.

My teacher is thankfully not mad.

I am still very, very mortified.

TL;DR: TIFU by not leaving my phone and having my alarm ring mid concert

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submitted 2 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Mad_Possums12 on 2026-05-29 04:30:00+00:00.


Didn’t happen today, but a few months ago. Apologies in advance for length, grammar/spelling errors, and rambling. I hope I posted this in the right place 😅

When my husband (23) and I (22) got engaged, we decided we’d have a short engagement followed by a micro wedding and a larger reception a year later. This is due to a few of the people we love most having health issues/being advanced in age and us wanting to make sure we could share this important life event with them.

We aren’t the most religious couple, so we opted to have a short non-religious ceremony based solely on our love story. We wanted the traditional scripts of “do you take [fiancé] to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, etc.” The only addition was that we wanted to say, “May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. If you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you,” to each other at the beginning of the ceremony. All of this was explained to the hired officiant (late 50s maybe), along with the general vibe of the ceremony, dress code, the expectation that he wouldn’t bring anyone, and the request that he not wear heavy cologne or smell of cigarette smoke at the ceremony in respect of the allergies/sensitivities of those in attendance (the smoke part was specified due to a previous situation we had regarding a different professional and my wedding dress). He agreed to everything and assured us he did not even smoke.

We had a rehearsal the day before and asked him to attend, but he assured us it wasn’t necessary since we were having a micro wedding. This felt weird, but I’m not an officiant, so I trusted him.

Now to the day of: While I’m getting ready and the photographer is getting pictures, the officiant comes in to collect my engagement ring as well as my husband's ring… He reeked of smoke. We had also previously stated that we’d carry each other's rings down ourselves, but I was too nervous and caught off guard to say anything about either thing.

While everyone was processing in, I waited at the top of the stairs and looked down the side of them, where I could see an older woman I didn’t know in a bright red knee-length dress sitting in a chair at the back of the room. I was confused, but I was upstairs alone and unable to ask anyone about it.

Time to walk down the stairs and meet my dad at the end to walk down the aisle. The photographer is snapping pictures, I’m nervous because I’m not used to having all eyes on me, and I see the same woman in the red dress sitting where she’ll be photobombing most of the pictures of us walking down. Again, I didn’t have the wherewithal to stop walking and ask her to move.

As the ceremony starts, the officiant asks us to turn to our guests and says something like, “because this is for y’all as well,” before saying a few words. At this time, I notice the woman is now sitting on the groom's side, where only his father, sibling, and one grandparent are seated. Everyone sits again, and the officiant starts talking about a book he’s going to quote: what time it was written, the ethnicity of the man who wrote it, the man’s profession, and that it's full of essays about marriage. Honestly, the quote didn’t make sense. I have since asked my husband, sibling, parents, and grandparent. They all said they were confused. He then proceeded to say the quote my husband and I were supposed to say to each other to open the ceremony to us. He had us repeat, “[Fiancé], I take you to be my spouse and my partner for life. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. And so I pledge myself to you. There will be no other. I give you this ring as a sign of my vow to love, honor, and cherish you, and I promise to always be your friend.” He talks about what makes a good marriage, then says congratulations. We never said “I do.”

Before leaving for cocktail hour, we waited by the papers for a few minutes to do the signing, but he told us he already did it. We had planned to do it in front of everyone and told him this prior.

After we received the wedding photos, we realized that his wife, the woman in red, was indeed scowling in my pictures with my dad. She also prevented us from getting any photos of just my husband’s family during the ceremony, since she was blocking at least one person in every shot while frowning. In every photo, she stood out in her bright red mini dress against the muted, cool-toned backdrop of floor-length formal gowns.

If I would’ve insisted on him attending the rehearsal, I feel like most of these blunders wouldn’t have happened and I’d be able to look at my wedding pictures without feeling cheated.

TL;DR: didn’t insist officiant come to rehearsal. He smelled strongly of cigarette, brought his grumpy wife (who was inappropriately dressed and photobombed most pictures), and didn’t say the right things during the ceremony.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Bytusyc on 2026-05-29 15:17:00+00:00.


This was last Thursday and I'm still a bit raw about it honestly.

Long day at work, left around 10pm, got on the last train home. Six stops, maybe fifteen minutes, I've done it hundreds of times. I put my headphones in and I remember thinking I'd just rest my eyes for a bit because I was absolutely done and the carriage was warm and quiet and that was genuinely the last thought I had for a while.

I woke up because it was too quiet. No movement, no announcements, nothing. I pulled my headphones out and the carriage was empty. I looked out the window and there was no platform. Just darkness and other trains parked in rows and some lights far away that were definitely not a station.

I walked through the whole train looking for anyone. Found the driver eventually doing paperwork in the cab at the front. He looked up and just went completely still for a second, like he was trying to figure out where I had come from. Turns out nobody had checked the carriages before driving it into the depot which I think is somewhat on them but I also fell asleep on a train so.

He called someone, got me a taxi back to the nearest station, very apologetic about the whole thing. I got home at 1am. My fifteen minute commute.

TL;DR Fell asleep on the last train, woke up alone in a depot, had to be rescued by the driver who had no idea I was there.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FitAbroad5494 on 2026-05-29 09:13:44+00:00.


me 23M was taking care of my friends pets and garden. there is 2 valves on his hose and I turned the one on the tip of the hose off... and forgot to turn off the one coming out of the ground. he calls me telling me it exploded and flooded his yard. and the water was running like that for 8 hours. and that the water bill would be very expensive... problem is is that he was paying me to take care of the cats and the plants so I'm 1 assuming I'm not getting payed and 2 I'm assuming I'm going to be paying him now. and I'm fine with that. but he would rather deal with that in person. when id rather get it sorted out now and rest easy. I'm already stressed about a job interview same day

he said that we would deal with it in person...

I'm assuming the water bill is going to be $100 more cuz of what happened. but i searched online and it doesn't seem like it would be that expensive... RIGHT?

TL:DR: he is not back yet... ill update when it is

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Alarming-Heat-2476 on 2026-05-29 02:30:37+00:00.


So for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a dog that I could call my own. I had a family dog that I stole when I went to college, but after he passed away after 13 long, amazing years, I had a gigantic hole in my heart that only another dog could fill. I had to get a puppy because of my roommate’s dog, and I was okay with that! It was finally my time to shine. I found the sweetest little boy that reminded me of my last dog, and had the same color eye as my family. After talking with his foster mom and learning that he’s a bit of a meat-head, I decided on a few names and had the foster mom choose what fit his personality best. We ended up with Kevin, and I loved it. It was perfect!! After all of the paperwork, my mom and I end up driving four hours to pick up this sweet puppy rescue, and sweet Kevin is officially my sweet baby boy.

Months pass and he’s 18 1/2 weeks old. He’s teething, he’s got potty training down, and the only issue is him screaming in the crate while I’m at work. My roommate and I are downstairs, taking shots and enjoying the end of a crappy day, and I bring up a shirt that I want to wear to pride. It causes the conversation to steer toward people I’ve kissed, and I bring up that the only person I’ve kissed was… and I pause. I realize. My roommate realizes. I’m speechless, she’s screaming across the room because she realizes too. I have named my first puppy the same name as the one and only guy I’ve kissed. I’m not hung up on this guy, he was very sweet, but I realized I’m very strongly a lesbian shortly after I broke up with him.

I had absolutely no intentions of naming him after the last man I dated, I am very happy with my orientation. It was just a VERY unfortunate situation that I realized 7 WEEKS after naming my new puppy.

TLDR: I, a lesbian, named my new puppy Kevin without thinking of my ex’s names. The last boy I dated was named Kevin.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bvckarthi on 2026-05-29 05:12:03+00:00.


I (M29) work as a consultant for a Norway-based company, but my client is located in Singapore. I’m currently on an 8-month contract that requires me to fly out to the client's office for one week every month. On my very first trip, I instantly clicked with the director of the team, who is also my client manager. He’s originally from my hometown but settled in Singapore. Before my second trip, I asked if he needed anything from back home, and I happily brought over a few things for him and his family. He was super grateful and insisted I come over to his house for dinner. At the time, I genuinely didn't have any free time, so I politely declined.

Fast forward to my third trip. While taking the MRT from the airport to my hotel, I noticed a beautiful, elegant Indian woman(F25) standing next to me. We shared a smile, got off the train, and went our separate ways. Later that evening, I went to a food court next to my hotel to grab some dinner. I was sitting by myself when she suddenly walked up and sat right across from me. I flirtatiously asked her, "Are you following me?" She laughed, said it wasn't like that, and we ended up talking and having dinner together. We exchanged numbers before parting ways.

I’m honestly terrible at texting, so I didn't message her right away. Meanwhile, my client manager kept inviting me over for dinner, and I kept dodging his requests, blaming it on work. A few days later, I bumped into the girl again at the same food court. She playfully called me out for not texting her, so I asked if she wanted to go on a proper date that Friday. She said yes, and I actually changed my return flight from Friday evening to Saturday morning just to make it happen. We went on a super romantic date that she planned out completely, roaming the streets of Singapore until 3 AM before my 6:30 AM flight.

After that, we officially started a long-distance relationship. We constantly texted and called, and whenever I flew to Singapore, I spent all my free time taking her out. My client manager was still pestering me to come over for dinner, but I eventually told him that I had started dating a local woman and she was keeping me pretty busy.

This week is the 7th month of my contract. My girlfriend got sick for a couple of days and told me she was going to stay at her parents' place to rest and eat some home-cooked food. Since my schedule suddenly freed up, I told my client manager that I’d finally love to take him up on that dinner offer. We scheduled it for Thursday.

I arrived at his house, completely oblivious, just chatting with his wife. Then, he started talking about his family. He mentioned he has one son and two daughters, and pointed to a family photo on the TV stand.

My stomach completely dropped. His eldest daughter is none other than my girlfriend. And she was sleeping in the room right next door.

I somehow kept a completely straight face. Just as his wife announced dinner was ready and went to knock on her daughter's door, I excused myself to the restroom. I frantically texted my girlfriend: "Whatever happens, DO NOT react to anything."

She came out to the dining room. When my manager introduced his daughter to me, she looked at me, said absolutely nothing, and played along perfectly. We sat through the entire dinner in agonizingly quiet tension, finished our food, and I got out of there as fast as I could. As soon as I left, she texted me: "What just happened?!" I called and told her everything.

I am still in complete shock. Reddit, I have no idea what to do. Should I tell my client manager about this? Do we keep it a secret? How do I navigate this without blowing up my contract and my relationship?

TL;DR: Met a girl while traveling for work in Singapore and started dating her. Spent months dodging my client manager's dinner invitations to spend time with her. Finally accepted his dinner invite when my girlfriend went to her parents' house sick. Walked into his house and realized my manager is her dad. Sat through the most awkward dinner of my life. Need advice on whether to come clean.

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/musicwithbarb on 2026-05-28 23:31:50+00:00.


For context, I am completely blind since birth. I am relatively "normal" otherwise. Except when I jam my foot squarely inside my mouth. Also, worth noting,I took a pretty solid edible before this happened. So, I sometimes swim at this pool in our city. It's a therapy pool. So it has a few different levels with steps, and it has several sets of parallel bars that people can use to do exercise. The pool is meant for rehab. But people from the community can come and use the pool in the afternoons. It's beautiful and so relaxing.

So I'm in there today, talking to my husband and sister who are with me. We're having a chill time when, all of a sudden, this woman starts walking back and forth near me. So she's letting me know that she's moving around me. She tells me that she is doing her exercises. Now, what I am good at, normally, is giving people advice and encouragement to keep it up and hey! Maybe you wanna try something fun, maybe a touch more challenging. Just to mix it up a little bit. So I say, proudly because this is obviously the best idea anyone's ever had, "Hey! Youknow what you should do? Have you ever tried walking along the bars but only using your arms? So just grab the bars with both hands and just use them! To walk! It'll be really fun! You should try!"

She responded snippily, "I can't do that!" "Well why not?" I insist? "It's fun! Look! I am blind and I can do it no problem!"

She is clearly pissed when she says I can't do it, because I only have one arm."

Lord, just go ahead and let me drown here at the bottom of the pool, because I can't bear the shame. Everyone I've told this story to, including the woman in question, all said it was fine because I couldn't have known, what with the whole being blind thing. But it is still god damn mortifying! How do you even come back from that?

Well great question. My brilliant plan was to drop a fun etymology fact on her! So I said "Hey! So your name is Celia. Isn't that based on the word for "sky"?

Nope. According to her it absolutely is not. But jokes on her, because I just looked it up and I'm actually right! It means heavenly and will come from the same root as ciel meaning sky. So there, Celia. I do know things! TLDR: A I, a blind woman, told a one armed lady to walk along parallel bars with both of her arms and don't use her legs. Gaaaaaaaaaaa I'm fucking stupid!

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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DJ_Jiggles on 2026-05-28 21:01:40+00:00.


So I start my daily 1.25 mile walk to work. It's been raining lately, but it was relatively dry. I'm looking down at my phone, trying to choose some Warhammer lore to listen to on my journey when I get to the point where I pass by the grate of a storm drain in front of a warehouse.

One spot.

One spot on my path was not at all dry.

Now I'm finding my foot sliding in a direction it is absolutely NOT, as a fat man, supposed to be going.

I hit the ground hard, right on to the grate. I start to get up and it hits.

My fucking KNEE. I can't put weight on it, so I fall back down into the mud and try the other side.

When I manage to stand, my fucking BACK hurts so much I can't stand straight.

I limp around for a minute trying to assess the damage and if I could still get to work, but nah, ain't no way in hell I was going to be able to get there in my state much less work the entire day.

Thankfully my boss is a good dude. I never miss work, I'm always early and I always cover or pick up an extra shift when he asks. He heard how much pain I was in when I called him and offered to give me a ride home even though I was around the corner from my house.

After a few minutes of limping home, I approach my property. It's at this time I notice an SUV slowly trailing close behind me.

He follows me on to my property, past the driveway all the way TO my house, stops me and proceeds to interrogate me about what I was doing by his warehouse.

Like dog, I get it. I got a little close to your place. I was in a fuckton of pain with the fear of missing work causing massive anxiety, so I wasn't really aware of my exact location.

But do you really think the fat guy in his work uniform, covered in mud, hobbling on 1 leg, bleeding from my left hand while the right is in the crook of my back, bent over like quasi-fucking-modo is trying to break into your place?

Now I'm sure how much work I'm going to miss while I have $8 in my bank account.

Ah well, could be worse.

TL;DR: I wasn't paying attention, slipped in mud, fell onto a storm drain grate and now I'm too hurt to work for a few days.

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Time-Confusion8660 on 2026-05-28 04:59:52+00:00.


I genuinely think the most embarrassing moment of my life happened today.

For context I’m a 27F software engineer and most of my coworkers are men in their 40s and older. So today my team was going to lunch and I offered to drive. Two coworkers got into my car and my phone automatically connects to Spotify, except it always takes about like 10-15 seconds to fully connect so I didn’t realize/think of it in the moment.

I had something in my trunk I needed to grab real quick so I got out and in that time my phone connected and the last thing I was listening to was a smutty ass book.

And yes it was on one of those scenes exactly.

I got back into the car hearing the MC of the audiobook talking about how there was not enough friction between her thighs to satisfy her carnal lust…

I’m dead. Deceased.

Because I’m dead I of course suddenly can’t function properly and muted/unmuted it 3 times completely just fumbling with my radio. As I’m doing this my co worker in the passenger seat goes “oh what’re we listening to ACOTAR”.

My coworker in the backseat “What’s ACOTAR?”

Apparently you can die twice, that’s fun. I then just say it’s a book series us girls love and we all left it at that.

Honestly great joke from my co-worker maybe I’ll be able to laugh at it in 10 years or so.

TL;DR: offered to drive my co-workers to team lunch. Forgot my phone auto connects to Spotify and they heard my smut book playing.

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Character_Cattle7001 on 2026-05-27 18:17:52+00:00.


I answer phones as part of my job. Usually people call either looking to purchase tickets for an event or to rent the space. Today a woman called with severe speech challenges, so I really tried to be patient and figure out what she was looking for. Being a certified woke person, I know there’s a number of reasons someone could have speech problems, so I didn’t automatically assume any intellectual disability. I just treated the call like I would any other phone call where I’m having trouble hearing or understanding the person.

20 minutes later, her mom comes in the room, grabs the phone, and angrily interrogates me like I was trying to scam her daughter. I guess I understand being suspicious of someone on the phone with your intellectually disabled adult child, but she came in so hot at me when I was just trying to help and understand. ;~; I apologized and let her know I just didn’t want to be rude and she said “you don’t have to be rude” but…at what point am I meant to make the judgement that I should end the call on someone who sounds like they’re just trying to find out information?

TL;DR: I tried being patient assisting someone on the phone with speech difficulties and got yelled at by a caretaker thinking I was scamming her disabled daughter

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/DickNJaneNumber1Fan on 2026-05-27 03:36:24+00:00.


TIFU by saying yes to a private first date.

For context, about a year ago, I (27 F) got out of a six-year relationship with the woman I thought I was going to marry. It was a hard breakup, but we parted amicably and remain best friends. She moved on pretty quickly. However, it’s been a bit more difficult for me. My sister encouraged me to get on the dating apps to just “see what’s out there.” So I did and I matched with Max (fake name) (28 M). He had some funny quips in his profile so I swiped right. Max takes horrible pictures of himself so I was just kind of going for the potential banter.

We exchange numbers and he seems normal enough over text. He ends up calling me and we talk for like 6 hours. NOTE: I’m a chronic phone caller so this isn’t terribly uncommon for me, but seemingly, we clicked. It had been so long since I had been on a date that I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes I made as someone in their early 20s… which didn’t work out in my favor. Now, there are a series of red flags that I ignored throughout this:

**RED FLAG #1** : Max told me about how he went to a girls house that he met on Tinder, they hung out and played video games 2x, “she didn’t kiss [him] or anything,” and then she ghosted him.

When he told me this, I pushed back a little on it. I asked why he thought she did that. He said that he felt like she was sending mixed signals.

**RED FLAG #2** : Max said that he checked her Snapchat story several times after she didn’t text him back. He was annoyed she was still posting stories. Look, there is nothing wrong with being annoyed at getting ghosted, but something felt off in the way he was telling me about it. Like no self awareness that he could’ve potentially done something wrong that would cause her to ghost him. I also felt a little off that this almost 30 year old man was using Snapchat as a major form of communication.

I paused at this, but like I said he seemed kind of funny and I thought the jokes he made in his profile were exactly my humor style so I felt like more could come out of us continuing to talk. Now, here’s where I can admit some fault. I did over share a bit in the two several hour long phone calls we had prior to meeting up. I told him that I had somewhat recently gotten out of a serious relationship so I didn’t really want to get into anything. Just explore and see how things go basically. However, I shared that I do not hook up without REALLY knowing someone and the reason why (sexual assault/abortion trauma). I wasn’t specific and it was really brief, but I did confide in him that had happened to me and that I struggled to trust people with that. However, he seemed supportive and said he completely understood.

I kept trying to make plans to meet up at a bar or somewhere in public.

**RED FLAG #3** : He always seemed to be busy when I tried to plan these things, but never busy after work. Max claimed he was too tired after work to go out, but that I could “always come [t]here.” Max worked at a candy shop (fake job, similar workload) so it wasn’t like he was breaking his back all day long.

I finally agreed to come over with the stipulation that NOTHING would happen. It was just to hang out and get to know each other. Now, I know you’re thinking I’m stupid and you’re right, I am. I knew it was dumb, but I kept telling myself that I was putting myself out there and it would all be ok.

I drive way too far out to go to his place and finally pull in. He leads me in and he has a dog. The dog is so sweet, but really energetic, like clearly a dog that needed tons of exercise.

**RED FLAG #4** : He would basically throw the dog to the side anytime it greeted me. I don’t mean shove, I mean aggressively push the dog down and get in its face. I get that there is some training that uses similar methods, but it seemed more like someone who didn’t research their dog and wasn’t giving it the proper exercise regimen.

Prior to me coming up there, he told me that he needed 2 hours after work to get ready and I thought great he pays attention to his hygiene.

**RED FLAG #5** : I asked him if he felt good after his shower and he proceeds to tell me that he didn’t and was still wearing the same clothes from work. He didn’t smell, but it was kind of like why did you make me wait 2 hours for you not to shower? And also, I don’t know. I feel like it’s common courtesy to shower before a first date?

Max gave me a “tour” (it was a one bedroom apartment) and then we sat on the couch. Here’s where things get ugly. He IMMEDIATELY tries to kiss me. I was like WTF because he literally told me he was good with nothing happening so I do what a normal person does and duck out of the way. He’s looking at me like I’m crazy and tells me that’s never happened to him before. I tell him you should probably ask someone to kiss them before kissing them. He then proceeds to tell me that he has “a 100% track record” when it comes to kissing women the second he meets them on Tinder, apparently. Remember how I said that he told me about the girl who ghosted him, yeah, I was starting to understand why.

As if it weren’t bad enough, Max starts guilt tripping me for not kissing him and saying I can just leave if I want to go. I try to explain to him why it’s not ok to just kiss people randomly (big mistake). He basically is talking over me and not letting me explain. I eventually say “we are—“ and he interrupts me to say “WE?! We aren’t anything. We aren’t dating. Why are you saying we?” Oh, I don’t know dude maybe because it’s a PRONOUN. Max is being so crazy cruel that I start tearing up. It’s awful and I should leave, but he’s honestly freaking me out at this point so eventually I submit to him kissing me. I hated it SO much. After he’s done he proceeds to say “Now was that so difficult?”

We sit down to watch a movie and honestly he can’t stop bickering with me, interrupting me, etc. I know I should’ve left but again I was kind of scared of the dude and didn’t want to make any missteps. Throughout all of this he’s giving me that gross look people give you when they want to kiss and he just keeps going for it even though I’m clearly not into it. I know I should’ve stopped it or said something. I don’t know. I honestly feel really stupid but I just kind of went into auto pilot and didn’t know what to do.

All of this culminated to the WORST part. Max was not wearing socks and kept putting his UNSOCKED FEET that had been in his sweaty work shoes all day ON ME. I was absolutely repulsed. I kept moving to get away from them, but he just kept rolling them towards me. FOUL. JUST UTTERLY FOUL.

Before we planned the date, I told him I had to leave by a certain time. As soon as that time came, I shot up and went to the front door as quick as I could. He gave me one last excruciating kiss goodbye and I got out of there.

I immediately call my best friend SOBBING and all I can get out is, “HE WASN’T WEARING SOCKS!” So imagine you get a call in the middle of the night with your friend scream crying about bare feet. I’m telling her how awful it was and I get another call. And who is it? Max.

He starts berating me, basically telling me that I wasn’t ready to date again and how immature I was about the whole thing. Mind you, he had only had one relationship (at age 26) and it was a year long + the “perfect track record” of 11 (yes he had counted) girls he had hooked up with in the year after his breakup. Let’s just say I had significantly more dating experience than him. Max also tells me that I overshared and that I was moving too quickly for him. He said that I was treating this like it was a thing when it wasn’t. Literally WHAT could I have possibly said that made it any more clear that I wanted to take things super slow and didn’t want anything serious.

Max also said, and I quote, “Other guys on Tinder aren’t going to be as nice as I am.” And the cherry on the top of the damn cake is come to find out he didn’t even make his tinder profile, his friend did. The ONLY reason I swiped on him was because of what SOMEONE ELSE WROTE?! But I digress…

I hadn’t had meat or dairy in 4 years (vegan) and I drove to Whataburger and got a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, a Dr Pepper shake and a large order of fries (and you better believe they’re fried in tallow). Absolutely housed it.

I know I’m stupid and I’ve now learned my lesson to never meet someone at their apt for the first date.

TL;DR: I met up with my Tinder date at his apartment and it was so bad that I broke my four year streak of veganism.

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/keiko17 on 2026-05-27 09:42:46+00:00.


I (25F) own two conures who are obsessed with water. They love to sit on top of the shower door while I take a shower. One of them is terrified of the dark. (To the point he actually has a night light)

Last night we were taking a shower when all of a sudden the power went out. So the bathroom turned completely dark.

One of them freaked out and tried to fly towards me, but he got hosed down to the floor instead.

I managed to turn off the shower and used my phone as a flashlight to find them. Poor dude was soaked and very pissed off.

I quickly dried off and got dressed. I was absolutely terrified that he got water in his lungs so I called the emergency vet.

Once we arrived at the vet he was still acting quiet and not himself.

Vet checked him and I was told that he was fine, just being dramatic.

TL;DR: my conure fell in the shower, took him to the vet only to be told he was being dramatic.

20
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submitted 3 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/wahtevur on 2026-05-28 23:41:20+00:00.


I normally rely on what my company puts in the kitchen to fuel my hunger throughout the day since I don't make myself food. Lunch time rolls around and I scour the office looking for snacks. They put bags of dried fruit on the kitchen island today, so I took one. Since I didn't have anything else to eat, I ate a good chunk of the bag. It didn't even taste good. I kept munching on the fruit because I was hungry. Well a few hours later, I had a severe stomach ache. I never have this issue, so figured the dried fruit was the problem. I checked out the bag while driving home and it turns out it contains a ton of fiber. I'm now hunched over on the floor/bed until I shit away this problem.

TL;DR: I ate a lot of dried fruit and the fiber gave me cramps.

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Unicorn_in_disguse on 2026-05-28 01:55:35+00:00.


On mobile, English is really the only language I speak- if I make any mistakes I'm just stupid, and not a throw away because screw it.

So my wife is at the very start of her transition ( mtf ). It's been a learning curve and I'm doing what I can to be supportive because it's amazing to see her be more comfortable, confident, and relaxed. Part of that is doing whatever we can to make her more comfortable with her body. The biggest issue has been that she's very *very* hairy. I don't have a problem with her body hair but she does so therefore it has to go.

Another problem is that shaving takes forever, is a whole ordeal, and the hair grows back stupid fast. The next logical solution? An epilator. The epilator really hurts and you can't use it on sensitive areas. The next solution is wax. Do we go to a professional? No of course not. That'd be like $400. We do not have that kind of money to drop on a basically full body waxing. So we got a wax kit. Read the instruction manual. We're confident and ready.

We were not actually ready. So the waxing kit came with soft wax which I did not like using because to me it's very fussy and you can only do little strips at a time so it takes forever. Tried it, worked well enough until it didn't. I managed to wax her armpit closed. That was a whole thing to fix. I let the wax melter thing cool off and I just pop the machine's plastic lid on, put it in its box, and put it on a shelf to forget about until now.

That leads us to today. I did not put the lid on the wax tub. I did not think that the wax would be spillable after it hardened back up. My wife says I lack critical thinking skills and I honestly can't argue with that. We bought hard wax and were very excited to try it because it just seems so much easier to work with. We took the wax kit off the shelf and opened the box.

Wax *everywhere*.

Its on the cord, the outlet prongs, and more critically, the machine lid. It has completely coated the lid. Since taking it out of the box there is now wax on the coffee table, the cat, my hands, her hands, the kitchen faucet and handles, the bathroom sink, the dish soap, and chain mail scrubber. I thought an abrasive would be the answer. That only accomplished ruining the scrubber. My hands are completely coated in wax and so are my wedding rings because I didn't think to take them off. Threw out the offending wax and went through an entire tube of alcohol wipes cleaning the cord, prongs, and coffee table. My hands were fucked. The lid was fucked.

Upon some googling we learned that oil and dish soap will get wax off. So one bottle of oil, a couple hours later, and a very angry wife we got all of the wax off of everywhere. The cat was not amused that we had to trim the little spot of wax off of him. It probably would have been easier to do a lot of doordashing or something to be able to afford going to a professional.

Have we learned? Maybe. That remains to be seen. We're about to try using the hard wax. At least I now know how NOT to store it.

TL;DR: Don't do this. Go to a professional. Wax went everywhere and it sucked to fix

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submitted 4 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NoCommunication7 on 2026-05-26 19:59:32+00:00.


A few years back i got this cool 10x pirate spyglass, or draw tube telescope, it had limited field of view but was pretty good for terrestial viewing, it also just looks cool, a conversation starter, i ended up letting someone borrow it who ended up breaking it, so i had to buy another one because i liked it so much.

A while back someone gave me a ton of binoculars, that not only worked with my eyes, but let in more light and had more magnification, even a 25x beast that looks like something the navy would use, but the 10x and 15x were good enough and i could see things with them that i couldn't with the spyglass, it was like the spyglass was only 720p.

Despite that it's still much smaller so i kept it around, left it in the car in it's case (so it doesn't start a fire with the sun) in a storage compartment, it's been in there for ages now.

It's been very hot the last few days and i thought i hadn't used the spyglass in a while so i took it out, immediately i notice it's covered in a sticky greasy residue which i had to wipe off.

I go to extend it and the central draw tube is stuck, it takes a lot of force to extend and collapse it now.

If you don't know about collapsible telescopes, they put felt between the sliding draw tubes so it's smooth and doesn't get knocked out of focus easily, there was black residue on the draw tube and sticking out of the end of it, the felt or the glue holding it must have melted.

I didn't even test it, i guess it's either leaked oily stuff or glue on the optics, or melted out of collimation, or maybe it still works but it won't be the same again.

Least i know now not to do it with my good binoculars.

TL;DR: I left my collapsible telescope in a really hot place, it got so hot that it basically almost melted together and leaked something like oil

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tinybluesubaru on 2026-05-27 03:14:08+00:00.


So this didn't actually happen today but about a week ago. I (30M ) had to go to a dentist to get a really bad wisdom tooth removed. I was in a lot of pain and was suffering from light headedness. I had a bad headache and a sore throat. My stress and heart were going out of control. I was not doing well.

So the operation started and the dentist pulls out this huge needle. Knowing that whole area is super sensitive and starting to panic. I blurt out in a terrified squeaky very feminine voice "Ppp Please be gentle" the dentist stares at me for a bit still holding the needle and bursts out laughing. Her assistant is not doing much better.

I wanted to die from both pain and humiliation.

As soon as they stopped laughing the procedure continued while they were occasionally giggling. Nothing about the whole thing hurt more than a small pinch. I hugely overreacted.

I can never go back to that dentist can I?

TL;DR Grown man asked female dentist to "Please be gentle" got laughed at now can never go back.

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chance-Midnight1892 on 2026-05-27 12:25:08+00:00.


This happened today and I am still sweating.

I'm 23 and live in Texas. My girlfriend has been slowly getting pulled into my friend group. We have a huge group chat for game days and random plans. It is loud, constant, and full of sports takes and memes. She joined because she genuinely wants to bond with everyone, which is sweet and also kind of terrifying because my friends have opinions.

This morning she messaged that she was coming over after work. Feeling bold, I typed a very flirty, very specific message about what I wanted to do later. Not graphic, but definitely not something you share with the same people you argue with about fantasy lineups.

The mistake: I had been replying in the group chat about weekend plans. When I switched back to my texts, muscle memory made me hit send in the group chat instead.

The message went straight into the group. For a few seconds I thought the typing bubbles were broken. Then reactions started popping up. Someone wrote "OH." My girlfriend replied with a single heart emoji, which somehow made it worse. I tried to delete it, but half the chat had already seen it and screenshotted it. One friend immediately tried to change the subject like they had just watched a car crash. Another asked if we were still bringing chips to the watch party.

Now my girlfriend thinks it is hilarious, my friends are being weirdly polite, and I am considering moving to a new city and changing my name.

TL;DR: I meant to send my girlfriend a private spicy text, but I sent it to the group chat and now everyone knows what was on the menu tonight.

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submitted 5 days ago by bot@lemmit.online to c/tifu@lemmit.online
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Embarrassed_Elk9437 on 2026-05-27 07:29:42+00:00.


My roommate and I just moved into her newly built, slightly isolated house, about two months ago and we’re still getting used to it’s little quirks, and still finding new places to put things. Recently, my roommate put a whole pergola, and outdoor lounge area right outside of my bedroom window, which is right next to the backdoor. I try to be mindful at night, especially since I’m renting and can’t make unnecessary holes, means I have no blinds, only curtains on a tension rod.

Today, I turned in early for the night so I could relax on my own before heading to bed. I decided it was a good night to have a little spicy time so I lit a candle, took out my favorite toy, and put on a sexy scene from a show. Everything was going fine, I was almost there, hit my point, fireworks, moaning, etc. mission complete. Suddenly, I hear quietly, from literally the other side of my window, not two feet away from my head, “Come on X, are you done? Let’s go back inside.” I thought she had stuck her dog outside to go to the bathroom while she prepped for bed, but apparently she had quietly set herself up outside of my window, while I was having myself a good time inside.

Had I know she was there, I would have stopped immediately. Fingers crossed, this is one of those things we just never bring up and it will die with us.

TL;DR: Friend heard me getting off in my room while she took her dog out to go potty.

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Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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