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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sparky_Matrix on 2026-07-29 13:47:12+00:00.
TL:DR DAVID protein bars (peanut butter chocolate chunk) gave me orange stools that turned into waxy orange anal leakage happening without any warning or sensation, staining my toilet, my recliner, and eventually my truck seat in front of coworkers. I quit eating them after realizing my daughter had the same orange stool issue from just one bar a day, and I still don’t understand how orange anal leakage from a protein bar is even legal to sell.
I need to tell somebody about this because I am still not over it
I loved DAVID protein bars. Peanut butter chocolate chunk specifically — genuinely delicious, great macros, I was eating two a day thinking I’d found the perfect protein snack. I will never eat one again, and here’s why.
About two weeks in, I noticed my stools had turned orange. I brushed it off — figured it was something in the ground beef my grandmother was cooking (asked her about it, she was NOT happy about that question). Didn’t think much more of it.
A few days later I’m in the bathroom, doing my normal bidet routine, and I look down and there are these waxy orange clumps stuck to the bowl. Not rinsing off. I had to physically scrape them off with the toilet brush. Disgusting. Went to shower immediately after, and that’s when I realized the orange stuff wasn’t just in the toilet — it was all over me. Coating everything back there like actual wax. A bidet spray wasn’t touching it.
I got a little freaked out and looked it up, and sure enough other people have reported the same orange stool thing from these bars. So I back off them for a bit.
Then that same day I notice my recliner has an orange stain on it. From whatever had been happening without me feeling a thing.
Fast forward two weeks. I’m back on two bars a day (I know, I know), sitting in a work truck with coworkers, eating Chinese food. Spill a little on my pants, go to wipe it off the seat, and there’s an orange stain that is very much not sweet and sour sauce. Black polyester pants, cooling fabric, orange wax stain, and I had not gone to the bathroom or felt anything all day. My coworker saw it. I saw it. I wanted to disappear.
Went straight to the bathroom and confirmed it: my ass was full of orange wax. It had apparently been slowly leaking out of me for hours without any sensation whatsoever.
To top it off, my daughter had been eating one bar a day and was also getting orange stools.
I’m a 40-year-old man and this might be the single most disgusting and unsettling thing that’s happened to my body in years. How is a snack bar out here causing unnoticed anal leakage? How is this legal? How does the company not have a warning on this?
Never again. Check your stool, folks, if you’re eating these.