I met my future wife online. We were texting for a while before our first date, and there was chemistry, so we decided to do a fancy dinner as a first date instead of coffee. I dressed up and wore a tie which was very uncharacteristic of me. She showed up in her Gears of War t-shirt, which was a pretty strong signal we'd get along

My folks met in a bar. They were flirting and dad was teasing mom, so mom flicked a mostly empty glass at him to throw some ice at him. But the glass slipped out of her hand and she threw it straight at his buddy's head. Dad's friend got three stitches, and now they've been together for 35 years.

My great-grandmother grew up in the depression, and she wanted to get into this clique of mean girls. At the time, she had to prove she was stone cold, so they challenged her to steal a chicken out of some guy's yard. My great grandfather was working out of sight and watched her wander around the yard for a minute before she snatches a bird and shoves it in her coat.

So he walks up all casual and starts talking to her and she's playing it cool like she didn't just steal his bird. They're chatting for a while when the chicken starts freaking out and trying to get free. So she's like "excuse me a moment," pulls out the bird by the neck and kills it by swinging it around her head (that sounds wild to me, but I guess it was a pretty normal method at the time). She maintained that she brought that one from home. They were together for like 70 years.

My grandparents and I don't have a dating story that involves violence. I guess it skips a generation.

Met a guy on Tinder and chatted for a while before setting up a coffee date. I still remember seeing him step into the cafe for the first time, he was taller than I thought and had kind eyes.

Coffee turned into a walk that turned into getting lunch because we didn’t want to stop talking. Date ended with a kiss on the riverwalk and we never stopped going on dates after that.

Not a particularly unique or interesting story, but I find that love stories be like that for everyone but the couple haha.

My first 3 relationships were with stalkers. I was super depressed and had no interest in a relationship. I figured the best way to get them to leave me alone was to give them what they wanted. The first one would track me down when I was out and corner me if she wanted me to do something, that lasted 3 months. The second used to follow me home from high school and would watch me when I was at a club. That lasted two weeks, but every now and then she’d hit me up for a hookup.

The third was the most traumatic experience of my life and I’ll just leave it there. A few months after our breakup, she asked me to fill in on her team for the schools Overwatch team tryouts. I didn’t want to join, but I played. A week later, they’re begging me to join the A team… in the position my ex was trying out for. That was definitely cathartic. 5000 hours of OW later, it’s a bit less funny. I never wanna play a video game that much again.

Also back in college I matched on Tinder with an older woman. She was like 26, I was 19. After a chat it turns out she was in a committed relationship and was looking for a third. Why not? I showed up a few times, they would get me dinner and then I’d do whatever they wanted essentially. After the fourth time, we stopped because the guy was too into me and the girl didnt like how things were developing.

I also kinda fell in love with a girl while I was on a grippy sock vacation. It didn’t last too long after we got out. She had issues and bad habits and pretty quickly succumbed to them and then started being really manipulative.

If this doesn’t make it obvious, I have some issues being a bit too… pliable. I’ve learned some lessons though and I’m in a pretty healthy relationship now and I can look back and laugh it this stuff.

Back when I was in college I went on a blind date. I drove all the way to NYC to meet her. All I knew about her at the time was she said she was a writer. I get there, we meet up, and it turns out she really was a writer…for DC Comics.

So in addition to dinner and a movie, I was treated to a tour of the Manhattan DC Comics offices, saw some cool props like the Catwoman costume that Michelle Pfeiffer wore. I also took the opportunity to pick her brain a little about how writers and artists collaborate to bring a comic to life. The following morning we met up for breakfast before I headed home.

It never went further than that single date but damn what a memory.

I had a good feeling going into our first date so I brought a toothbrush.

She still brings it up when we talk to people about how we met.

Met a girl on Tinder some years ago while living abroad. She was really cute and fun to talk to, first date was just a regular thing with a beer at a tasteful bar.

For the second date she invited me to drink white wine and play backgammon while watching the sunset in the nearby castle ruins. I was blown away, that sounded like the most romantic date I could imagine!

I get there, we enjoy ourselves, chatting away. I'm giving all the signals, but she doesn't seem to give any back. I get more and more confused, why would she invite me here if not to at least kiss or something?

Finally I force myself to lean in for the kiss, and she does kiss me back. But she looks at me like this came completely out of nowhere. We kiss some more and agree to meet up again another time.

We do go on more dates, but over time she tells me she thinks she might be asexual, after which the whole thing kind of fizzled out.

I'm still baffled she didn't expect that kiss.

Back in the days when my Nokia was state of the art, I went on a date with Kim. We both worked in the motorcycle industry, me as a salesman for big brand franchise, her as a counter chick for her dad’s independent shop. It took months of hints and asking before Kim agreed to a date.

I was fairly broke and a good solid 6/10. Kim was at least a 9, modeled and raced, and had parents with a fair bit of cash. I was out of my league.

I borrowed a current model HSV Grange from a mate with both more money and more taste than me, and dutifully picked Kim up. We went to a Thai restaurant that turned out to be 6kilometres from her house.

When we got there, our table wasn’t ready as the previous couple had stayed longer than anticipated. We went to the bar to wait. I ordered a beer, Kim ordered a raspberry vodka cruiser.

The bartender proceeded to hand me my drink and spill the cruiser all over Kim. And Kim’s skintight white pants. Which were immediately see through. We decided to leave and went to the car.

I pushed the button on the key to unlock it. Nothing. I pushed it again. And again. And eventually stuck the key in the door. Like a peasant. I opened the door, put the key in the ignition- click. Click. Click. Click. Dammit.

I asked Kim to sit in the drivers seat and turn the key when I asked her to.

I opened the bonnet (hood for you non-Aussies) and used my entire mechanical knowledge and wiggled the battery connection. We had lights on the dash! Then, as I held the wire against the battery terminal, Kim turned the key. On the plus side, the car started.

When I had picked myself up, I drove Kim home. I walked her to the door and-smoothly I thought- went in for a kiss. She backed away, grabbed my hand and shook it, and disappeared inside.

20 years later (roughly) we met at a function. Her eyes went wide and she turned her back and walked away.

For a second date we drove an hour out of the city to visit a cheese factory. That relationship lasted four years.

Finger Printing?

When we got kids my wife and I couldn't find the time anymore to engage in kinky activities with each other. So she started looking on a BDSM site for extramarital partners. I wasn't that interested in the beginning so I didn't do the same.

But after she told me about some of her adventures (and also all the idiots who messaged her), I got curious and created an account without her knowledge. Created a silly Lego figurine as my avatar. And as my first order of business decided to hit up my wife.

All it took was one message to get her hooked. Always nice to get your rizz confirmed. Especially with the person you love the most.

Too Much Information: The Hidden Costs of Oversharing Online