In my story, he was not really fired. But a new hire in my company was handed his computer. Seeing it was on Windows, he asked to work on Linux instead. IT told him that Windows was mandatory so he resigned on the spot.

Based af, but he didn't even enjoy the burrito he ordered for lunch :(

Lol I love it when this happens- title actually fit this time (just my app being silly btw, nothing to worry about on your end)

i'll be damned, prayer does work

I used to work in a large fishing ship as an engineer, there I became an atheist. Once there was a huge storm and we had to balance the ship to make sure it wouldnt roll, the guy who had to do it was praying and didnt have time to balance it, we almost died because he had mandatory pray time. From than we had a rule that there is no religion on the ship, once we come back to land than you can believe.

This guy was only a "new co-worker" because I was the new employee, but: my first day on a new job I watched a guy get escorted out of the building by security carrying his shit in a cardboard box. His story ended up on the local news. Turned out he was running a prostitution ring from his office, using his work computer even. He had an 800 number that redirected to his office phone, and he kept track of his girls and customers on an Excel spreadsheet on his Windows desktop. The only reason he got caught was that the company upgraded everybody's computers, and they had techs check through all the old machines to make sure no important documents got deleted, and they found "CallGirls.xls" or something like that right on his desktop. Security through dumbassery.

A new, young PC technician was hired and from the get go he was practically blowing himself with claims he'll be promoted quickly, he could do the job of 2 people, nobody works harder than him. Less than 2 months into the job someone calls the dept asking where he is because he was supposed to swap out a PC for a director at an off-site location. His manager called his cell and asked where he was. He told em he was just finishing up Cathy's PC and he'll be back on site.

Manager: "Cathy just called me asking why you haven't shown up yet. So I'll ask again...where the hell are you?"

Turns out he was hung-the-fuck-over and napping at home. He got canned very quickly.

I guess some prayers get answered.

Nobody gets a jackoff closet. But no one ever asks for that.

I know someone who got his dream job in Brazil. His plane landed and he asked his local host where he can get some halal lunch. He was told that there didn't seem to be any halal food options in the city that's the host knew of. Guy got on a same day flight and flew back home. This was 20 years ago.

No later than 2 weeks ago a new marketing guy thought the best thing once he got his laptop was to start a thread of memes on Teams with everybody. People were already leaving left and right when I started paying attention to it. Unfortunately for him, when he sent an animation of a cartoon character doing a nazi salute I called him out on it saying that's not ok, the HR manager was still in the thread. Dude lasted half a day on this job.

If you can understand a smoke break, you can understand a prayer break. It's not that hard.

This is truly a pathetic country.

Worked in a lab where this lady sat down to read some SOPs and within an hour said "I'm not feeling it" and quit in that moment.

I was training a new hire. She was good, better than me in some respects.

But one day she came in and did no work, just sat there shaking... insisting she was fine.

Turns out she was tweaking, she came in high.

She was given a final warning but then she came high again and was fired.

Negative minutes. Kid just out of college, the CMO (a monster of a human) had cosigned and bragged about how good this person was. They didn't show up first day, hour past, someone called and HE was upset that a car hadn't been sent to pick him up at home and he was waiting... Ridiculous in any scenario really, but this was in a car-brained major city where all people drove themselves, up to the CEO. Not common at all to have a car service. Was let go immediately in a probation period and CMO never mentioned it again.

A newly onboarded guy told everyone over lunch that the next day was going to be a bank holiday where he is from, so he won't come in to work. We told him that it's not a bank holiday around here. He became quite upset about this. Then the line manager got wind of that.
He didn't turn up the next day... or on any day after that.

Anybody who saw that happen and didn't stop the firing absolutely deserved it.

One factory job had a couple days of orientation in a classroom before we started on the floor, but on day one we ended with a tour of the work areas. As we went around, someone working recognized one of the others in my group as a local methhead/rampant thief. We found out that's why he didn't come back when we started working with the others.

I worked in phones a decade ago and a new hire that I thought was cool lasted a week. I got a callback from a foreign client that was just hung up on after being slurred and insulted for not speaking fluent English by the new guy. We had call recording. It was very awkward to have to tell my boss about it and unfuck the client relationship.