[ Insert “Rigor-tortoise” joke here ]
“Mitch McConnell remaining technically alive for an extra three weeks because of a manipulative procedural maneuver is exactly how he would have wanted to go out,” Morris wrote in a social media post on X.
100% on brand for Mitch
Rest in piss
Context:
https://www.rawstory.com/mitch-mcconnell-2677159427/
https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-demands-proof-of-life-for-mitch-mcconnell/
https://www.snopes.com/news/2026/07/07/mitch-mcconnell-dead-rumors/
https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-senator-admits-truth-about-mitch-mcconnells-condition/
TLDR:
KY GOP is suspected of actively suppressing any/all news of his passing and/or keeping him on life support until after the first week of August in order to avoid triggering a special election.
Update
NY Post has run a story saying Glitch called the same people who have already claimed without any evidence to have spoken with him in the time since June 14th. He’s definitely fucking dead.
"I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction."
He might be dead, he might be braindead and on life support, he might be recovering. Until we see a body, it’s impossible to know.
Schrödinger’s Turtle
Ding-dong! The Mitch is dead
Which old Mitch? The Wicked Mitch!
Ding-dong! The Wicked Mitch is dead
Wake up, you sleepy head
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up, the Wicked Mitch is dead
He's gone where the goblins go
Below, below, below
Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out
Ding-dong, the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low
Let them know the Wicked Mitch is dead!
So where's our next public toilet going to end up?
He was a fucking traitor, right up to the bitter end.
insert galactic celebration from end of Return of The Jedi
Better late than never.
Good riddance, maybe Kentucky will drag itself out of the dark ages now.
(Once) Living evidence that abortion is moral
Burn in hell next to Kissinger
🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🎊🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎆🎇🎆🎆🎇🎇
He will be fuel for the Fire. ✌️
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