742
Doing what he does best (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by jballs@sh.itjust.works to c/politicalmemes@lemmy.world
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https://xcancel.com/davidzmorris/status/2073584779123990562#m

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[-] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 60 points 1 month ago

Oof, I knew they found him unresponsive. I did not know they had to do CPR. I would be surprised if he was still alive, and there's virtually no chance he will recover. CPR done outside a hospital setting on patients 80 or above only has like a 2-10% chance of ever being discharged, lower if they have pre-existing conditions.

I wouldn't want to do the compressions for that. I bet it felt like breaking a glass xylophone in an old burlap sack.

[-] lukaro@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 month ago

I would have done CPR so hard on him...

[-] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

A good Samaritan right here.

[-] green_goglin 8 points 1 month ago

[-] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Impossible to fake, must be true then. The internet has never lied.

[-] green_goglin 3 points 1 month ago

Fact check: TRUE ✅

[-] bampop@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm looking forward to a series of posts where he has this same pose and signs of decomposition gradually set in

[-] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I would want to

Just so I could push his xyphoid process well and truly into his liver while mushing the shards of ribs into his putrid lungs

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 month ago

He's looking up from hell, smiling.

[-] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

How is Satan supposed to govern his domain now that Mitch is there to filibuster every decision that could result in republicans receiving consequences for their actions?

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Hell can get so much better! We can build a literal paradise free from God's domination. We just need to coordinate with Mitch on improving all of our afterlives. Literally nobody even needs to be worse off, surely he'll agree to that.

[-] camembear@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This weekend, there will be an obvious AI video, with bitch mcconnell being weekend at bernie’d by His Rottingness Trump on truth social, I’m placing bets.

[-] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago

That's not AI, he was in the hopital getting surgery for that extra finger.

[-] AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If he's braindead, he's dead, not technically alive. This is voter fraud or even treason.

Of course they'll get away with it lol. They'll prevent anyone from checking if he's braindead or not, so he's neither alive nor dead. He's going out as a zombie.

[-] Gerudo@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago

Hey nurses/doctors, an anonymous tip to the media would be great right about now.

[-] als@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 month ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_McConnell#Mid-2026_hospitalization_and_death_rumors

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

And get away with it too, of course.

[-] thewebroach@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Elected officials are supposed to debate and compromise for the greater good of the country, but this steaming pile of shit galvanized the republicans in congress in a strategy to put party before country for political gain. He would block a bipartisan cure for cancer if it meant a democratic administration would get to share in the credit. He is a blight on humanity.

[-] iocase@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

I hope he's getting ass raped while continuously being burned alive right next to kissinger

[-] sol6_vi@lemmy.makearmy.io 1 points 1 month ago

Why wait for hell? This is my friend Bud, he likes to fuck.

[-] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago

I'm OOTL, can anyone explain what the "manipulative procedural maneuver" is? I'm seeing some stuff about a vacancy requiring an election (Kentucky disallowed governor appointments), is it fear the seat will go Democratic?

[-] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I saw comments elsewhere saying Kentucky only disallowed governor appointments within 90 days of an election. So, if he dies today, the governor, a Democrat, can appoint a replacement who will hold the office till whoever wins the November election replaces them beginning of next year. If he dies in 3 weeks, that's disallowed and a (special?) election will decide his successor. Bear in mind that my "source" on this is: Some other people on the Fediverse said so.

[-] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Im so confused. So if the guy dies today, but they keep it a secret, that doesnt change the fact that he died today. There should be no respect for the rule because its a fucking lie.

[-] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but he won't die today, because you can put a headless cadaver on life support and keep it "technically alive" for a long fucking time.

[-] aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Case in point terry schiavo and the woman who last year was kept alive to save her 8 week fetus.

[-] Madison420@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I think there's language for incapacitation like there it's for the president.

[-] BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

It's not just that, that'd it happen so soon giving a tilt more to the democrats in the senate.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

Sleepy Mitch

[-] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago

It's not even a joke, he's "living" the dream!

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Those quotation marks are doing some heavy lifting.

[-] hank_the_tank66@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Seems like a fundraising opportunity for his successor to sell the rights to pull the plug.

[-] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wikipedia editors get ready.

[-] Tacky4092@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

Do it. Plug him out.

[-] tacoplease@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Sockpuppet Mitch, spiritually,, existentially and now physically.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
742 points (99.3% liked)

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