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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheBritishG2020 on 2026-07-02 21:29:52+00:00.

So I’ve got the flu and I’m necking a 10ml shot of cough medicine while my girlfriend (23F) lies next to me. Out of nowhere she goes, “That’s one fat baby,” mid swig of this medicine…

Sleep-deprived brain decides the perfect comeback is “I’m not that fat” — and delivers it mid-swallow.

Cue instant regret. I laugh at my own genuinely unfunny joke, the medicine goes down wrong, and I’m suddenly choking, sticky cough syrup spraying everywhere, sprinting to the bathroom convinced I’m about to be sick.

I didn’t even find it that funny. I just have a gift for shit one-liners that only I laugh at, apparently badly enough to nearly kill myself over.

TL;DR: made a rubbish joke back at my girlfriend mid-sip of cough medicine, laughed at myself, choked, nearly puked