Court tomorrow. Not feeling doom for once. My mother-in-law helped. I've given her shit before and I should apologize. I've just done that in an email. I was going nuts before this, with what could be. Something she said prior, in conjunction with all my life partner has done, made me think I was being set up. Her helping me realize what I needed to do these past few days has helped get rid of all the insane possibilities my schizoautismo brain can concoct as I drift, alone, with my life partner in the hospital.

He and the aliens both say I should draw. I did, attached. That's how I feel inside, split, speedily going mad while trying to stay aligned with a higher purpose. I never know which way is up. I am my own harshest critic, and thus I feared what this judge might think of me, for I do not look the best on paper, I'm sure. I was perhaps too honest with the police, but therein, I will ask the judge if an honest man needs to play games against the state in order to avoid a spear in the ribs.

I dunno what's actually going to happen, but I'm not afraid. My life partner is getting treatment now. The problems that have all caused this should resolve with him getting the medication he needs and when he returns I will be most grateful to hold him in my arms and have myself melt in his. That may be a minute from now; he was involuntary and has just now had his meds be mandatory. Supposedly, he has to take them for a year, at least. That's what his mom says, at least. I should trust her. I should trust in myself, too.