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xkcd #3257: Beam Pipe (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 weeks ago by xkcdbot@lemmy.world to c/xkcd@lemmy.world

xkcd #3257: Beam Pipe

Title text:

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom

Transcript:

Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com

Source: https://xkcd.com/3257/

explainxkcd for #3257

top 29 comments
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Never mind that their thumb is now an anti-thumb.

[-] wieson@feddit.org 45 points 2 weeks ago

The only person that can count to -1

[-] Zorque@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago

One two three four, would you like to play thumbonuclear war?

[-] Ulvain@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

You have to be careful with that logic, or born again right wing christian groups will go nuts. Lemme explain.

If

Christ is everywhere

Then

Christ is in the large Hadron collider.

And if

[stuff] inside the collider becomes anti-[stuff]

Then:

--> The LHC creates the Antichrist.

!!

[-] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Then The Antichrist and Christ touches and is turned into energy, and levels half of Switzerland.

[-] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

And think what that would do to the snow sports industry.

[-] cockmushroom@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no, they'd have to move the wef to monaco

[-] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

God, it would be funny to see people protesting based on this.

Today’s satire is tomorrow’s debate topic.

[-] Ulvain@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

I wish i could push back on that by saying no one would be dumb enough to make that argument non satirically, but...

[-] 000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Never shall they twiddle

[-] bright@piefed.social 47 points 2 weeks ago
[-] cockmushroom@reddthat.com 11 points 2 weeks ago

The mind is willing, but the flesh is bruised

[-] Tja@programming.dev 4 points 2 weeks ago

But is powerful as hell for that brief moment!

[-] Eheran@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago
[-] Eheran@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Reads more like a clear no? Even with an actual person who experienced it?

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

Imagine backing up and shoving that in your butt.

[-] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago

It would literally give you ass cancer.

[-] JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no, you wouldn't even have time to get cancer. That shit'll just straight up kill your cells then and there.

[-] topherclay@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

The hose scientists are like "hmm the particles stopped flowing, there must be a kink."

[-] Telemachus93@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

Let's make anti-shit!

[-] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh, like covering the end of the hose, lol

I could be wrong but I don't think those particles are largely effected by that type of pressure.

[-] 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

I use a sprayer (pictured) to water my tomatoes. Maybe the scientists could adapt something like that for their collider? BTW what happens when you put the collider on the "mist" setting?

[-] Gork@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 weeks ago

Behold... The Extra-Large Hadron Collider!

[-] zwerg@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Hell, let's go American sizes... XXXL Hadron Collider!

[-] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Is that like the water jet from the swimming pool? Can I masturbate with it, too, or will it melt my nads into a gooey paste? I'm gunna try either way, I just wanna know what to expect.

[-] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Oh man, LMAO

Best post and thread I've seen in a long time!

And just when I needed it.

[-] nexguy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

I loved drinking from the beam pipe as a kid

this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
536 points (99.4% liked)

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