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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/tomveiltomveil on 2026-05-24 21:43:39+00:00.

Last night I went out to a restaurant with some friends, while our teenage kids hung out at my friends' house. When we get back to the house and as my friend is unlocking her door, I knock on the window and wave to let the kids know we're home. My kid's friend was sitting right under the window; she turned, glanced at me, screamed in horror, and ran away. It is at this moment that I remembered several things at once:

* It is night

* I am a grown ass man wearing a black hoodie

* We are not in a good neighborhood

* There's not enough light for the kids to see who I am

We get inside and the parents calm their child down. It probably only took like 3 minutes, but it felt like eternity. I apologize in a dozen different ways, while the parents turn it into A Good Time For A Lesson about what to do if there's a real intruder on the porch, and how to tell the difference between an intruder and OP. My own kid, used to a lifetime of me making bad choices like this, is just giggling the whole time.

TL;DR: it turns out children are scared of large shadowy figures that make noise at night