All those kid-negative comments are true. My 3 kids are noisy, tiring and expensive. But ... now I'm very wary of the time when they'll leave the house. They fill it with life and joy. Yes those laughters are magical.
Yeah. It's like nobody wants to acknowledge positive side
That's because these people don't have kids and not a fucking clue about life. X)
Maybe that's for the better, no?
I mean, who needs children that may grow up bitter and with no emotional connection because the parents werent into kids in the first place
Probably better than the alternatives. I'm not about to force anybody that doesn't want any children to have some. Just don't understand the hate against the well meaning advice to consider there are emotional benefits that are hard to explain to people that don't have children. I understand its unsolicited and often not welcome, but its like if you tell a friend who is about to do something obviously (to you) very stupid. You risk telling them out of a place of genuine care. They still retain to right to do as they please, but there is no need to be an asshole about it.
Fair points and agreed.
My mom always responded to "I don't like/want to to that" with "How can you not like it without even having tried it/to?"
Reflecting on that, it makes sense now.
But it's not like you can "trial" children before committing to it like a car or a subscription.
At best it can be tested with a pet like a dog or something else.
I can enjoy children but only for a limited time and after that I am done with it.
And I usually hear fresh parents talk about the lack of sleep, amount of increased duties, chores etc. etc. and the good aspects are very few (of which those are mostly not interesting to me).
A relative has brought a new family addition into the world. The baby is cute and all but I can't bring myself to care about it in the toddler phase.
Once it hits maybe the age of 6 or 8 when one can do something with it, they become more interesting to me.
Both can be true. At the same time
Reading this as my son's cat screams at our old cat for sitting in his chair.
I don’t have any kids but that doesn’t stop the neighbour kids from waking me up every morning.
you mean listening to my tinnitus?
Too quite and lonely for my taste.
I lived in an apartment building with a lot of families with kids. In summers, the courtyard was like the monkey enclosure at a zoo.
sound of dog licking its balls in the middle of the night
That does happen frequently. Or the sound of a cat fight.
You had me until you said "it's balls". It's always about them.
Hey, I thought you were asleep, alright?
I had a kid and suddenly all my money and free time evaporated.
How does something so small make me go from one load of laundry a week to 2 a day??
Where did the money go? I’m not buying much more.
How the fuck is the sink full of dirty dishes? I literally finished the dishes 12 seconds ago.
Why is everything sticky? What the fuck is on the ceiling?!?!
2 laundry a day with one kid? That’s impressive
I'd highly recommend cloth diapers but those do increase the load count. And if you've got a kid it's harder to efficiently do more loads in a single day.
"Get your feet out of your brothers mouth."
One of many phrases that I never thought I would have to say before I became a parent.
Kids are little disease vectors that drain your life-force and murder your dreams.
If you enjoy being broke, fat, tired, and boring, you should totally have kids. Come on, do it! Your friends and family just assume you’ll squeeze out one or two, you don’t want to disappoint them , do you?
I’m personally in the boat of seeing kids as adding to one’s life rather than draining it and making dreams rather than taking them away. But having kids is something my partner and I want. My only other dream is to ever own the roof over my head, but that’s not totally likely.
I feel that having kids would not seem as daunting for more people if we had real safety nets to support people that would even consider being parents. Such as free daycare, a basic income, universal healthcare, and stipends specifically to pay for costs associated with kids like for diapers, bottles, books, ever changing clothes sizes, etc.
Tbf, people who talk like this shouldn’t really have kids anyway so it’s an issue that resolves itself.
No it doesn’t. People fuck, kids happen. Recognizing people have human compulsions but don’t want to deal with the consequences requires forethought, whether that’s a condom, birth control, or sterilization. Fuck off with you “an issue that resolves itself” bullshit. Responsibility and self-awareness prevents it.
I have no idea what you are saying, did you reply to the wrong comment?
No. The implication that people who don’t want kids somehow don’t end up in situations where kids are produced is ludicrous. People don’t fuck just to make babies, but since that is a possibility, avoiding that outcome is a responsibility. Not everyone who doesn’t want kids automatically becomes a bad parent when they do occur, and not everyone who intentionally creates kids is a good parent.
don't blame being fat and boring on kids.
If I'm already all those things, but don't enjoy it, kids can only make it better, right??!?
I don't have any kids and no complaints, but something tells me we're going to have to revisit this thought when we're above 80 years of age.
I got along with my parents really well in my 20's and 30's, and it's kinda hard watching them age now, but we got 2 good decades, maybe 3, of both generations being functional adults who love each other and enrich each other's lives.
I enjoyed being childless in my 20's and early 30's, and anticipate enjoying having 20+ year old children in my late 50's onward.
Babies and toddlers are whatever. I love my children but still don't really like other people's children. But as they (and their peers and their cousins and their friends) grow older, I can definitely see personalities form and become future adults who I will really enjoy spending time with.
My father's counterargument to my refusing to procreate is exactly this. "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" What that told me is his main reason for having kids was to have someone do that for him. Funny, because despite having lived under the same roof, he wasn't much in my life, or has made any positive inpact on me. Everything was on mom (and sometimes grandmother). And now listening to him talk like some day I will move back to the country and abandon my entire life to take care of him/them, while right at this moment he's being extremely financially irresponsible? Cool cool cool. My partner's mother expects the same, all the while she doesn't work at all because it's beneath her.
With that said, I find having children for the sole purpose of them taking care of me in my old age not only selfish (especially with the imminent climate collapse), it's also risky (and I'm not even talking cases where the child has disabilities and can't take care of their own needs). And that's in the case I even live that long.
I'm sorry your dad's an asshole and I'm sure you can get purpose and meaning without kids.
Would you mind if I asked you about the people/things you love? On a really rough day, what gets you out of bed?
Sometimes it's a struggle for me.
I bet you're right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
And then I'll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.
So umm... Not to be a downer but,
depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.
my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.
I'm not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She's still somewhat there.. You can tell she's listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid... But she isn't fully there. She sometimes doesn't respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly... And there's also the part of her needing help with everything... Yes, everything.
I'm just gonna say, the problem isn't the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It's a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven't died yet... So you can't really grieve, but they're not really there either so you can't really be happy. It's emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.
I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.
So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm.. we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / 'eskimos' had the right idea, you know? All I'm gonna say. You get the picture.
I've thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It's like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don't want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don't to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.
Yeah, good point. No easy solutions tbh.
Thank you for sharing. That's rough, i feel for you. I'll be there eventually too, with my father.
No downer, no worries
Thanks, friend. Good luck.
LOL I won't make it to 80.
I dont expect to make it to 80 unless I somehow manage to survive my country losing world War 3 and stull having to go to work cause capitalists stole what little I had saved for retirement.
Whatever happens, best of luck.
Yeah and all my tattoos will look dumb then too.
Idk. Maybe. If you keep your love for what they represented to you, who cares though?
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