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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/NotSmilingAnymore on 2026-05-07 14:47:51+00:00.
Yesterday I made the mistake of visiting my parents unannounced. When I arrived, my mom and dad were in the middle of an argument. What they were arguing about, I did not know and I did not care. All I wanted to do was defuse the tension with some wholesome son energy, so I asked my mom what she wanted as a gift for mother's day. She looked at me with the same intensity she was looking at my dad while they were fighting before telling me to get her "one of those lifelike male sex dolls" because my dad has apparently given up on good sex in his 40s. I got up and said that was my cue to leave. My dad jumped in and encouraged me to not allow my mom to chase me away, which prompted my mom to tell my dad to stop chasing HER away and start acting like he still cared about getting laid.
My dad asked my mom why should he care about getting laid when she just asked me to purchase a sex doll for her. Before my mom could answer, I made it clear to both my parents that I was not planning to order any sex dolls for anyone ever. My dad encouraged me to order the sex doll and make my mom's mother's day special for both of them because then she can yell at the fucking sex doll for not choking her or slapping her ass hard enough in the bedroom. I literally covered my ears and said goodbye. My mom stopped me from leaving and said she needed to give me some leftover pie. I begged my mom to please make it quick because I already heard more than I ever wanted to hear. My mom said quick was my dad's department.
My dad looked at me and said never use the word menopause in front of your wife because she might take it personally and leave you for a sex doll. At that moment my mom handed me the pie and promised me there was more where that came from if I made sure the sex doll looked like Henry Cavill. My dad put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me for using my resources to hopefully replace him with someone who would always be available to listen to my mom complain about their neighbours skinny dipping during the day. I said I was leaving now and I left... traumatised.
Tl:dr Visited my parents for some clean, peaceful family time, but ended up getting ambushed to buy a sex doll for my mom who believed her sex life was jeopardy.