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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Injurjail on 2026-05-06 06:46:22+00:00.

As a bit of background, I (31M,) have a variety of health shit going on that all, by itself is relatively minor and adds up to a lot. It's so much stupid shit that I have made a PowerPoint to explain this to potential partners/friends/family/etc. The important ones for the purpose of this story include GERD/general stomach issues, some kind of nerve thing where my limbs fall asleep very easily and circulation to my extremities is kind of weird, and what is noted on my medical record as "benign hyper mobility disorder" that the top EDS specialist from my state (a geneticist) I went to see did a bunch of testing stuff with range of motion and said, "You have all the symptoms of EDS, but you don't have one of the known genetic markers." After we got the genetic testing back.

Tummy issues, limbs that fall asleep really easy, joints that are extra slippy and don't like to behave.

After a particularly annoying stint in the bathroom dealing with my standard stomach issues, I realized that my right foot was asleep from sitting for too long battling the demons that live in my butthole. No biggie. My feet fall asleep all the time and my left one is fine, so I stand, putting weight on my awake foot to pull up my pants and work on waking the sleeping foot up.

My knee on the left side had other ideas.

It decided, at that particular moment, that it no longer wanted to be aligned correctly and slipped its way out of place and could no longer support my weight.

I'm not new to this. I'm pretty good at shifting, using other muscles to compensate, etc. This shit has been going on for 30 years.

My brain forgot all about the treacherous right foot taking a snooze and shifted the weight over.

Then time slowed down.

Neither leg was capable of holding me up and I was going to fall.

I started my graceful descent by slamming sideways into the wall. My brain went "Oh no! I'm going to disturb the neighbors!" And pushed me right back off of the wall (because that's what matters right now. Thank you brain.)

The next step was to windmill my arms forward and grab onto the tension shower curtain rod in front of me.

If you, like me, have had multiple falls in your life, you learn kind of how to mitigate damage. Even though my first instinct is to grab onto anything I can get my hands on, I have pulled enough bookcases on top of myself, dislocated enough shoulders from clutching to the bannister for dear life, and taken human beings down with me enough to not do that anymore for the most part.

So, of course, I let go immediately and pivoted to keep myself from falling directly forward into the shower where I took notice of my absolute angel of a cat looking at me like I was going insane and twisted myself further to not squash her like a pancake.

In the end, I successfully protected my head by slamming down hard on my ass directly into a pile of kitty litter that some little angel had just kicked out of the box and got said litter in my ass crack because I had not managed to even pull my pants up yet.

Sore, bruised, with a very angry lower back, ankle, wrist, and elbow, I kind of laid on the floor for a minute composing myself and have been hobbling around since. At least I have a rollator to help me maneuver around the apartment and stand up safely. If only I had thought to bring it to the bathroom with me on what felt like a relatively okay body day.

TL;DR:

My foot fell asleep while I was shitting and my knee went out when I stood up leading to me falling pretty hard on my ass with my pants still down.