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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/LaGringaToxica on 2026-05-05 15:54:27+00:00.

Friends reference anyone? Spoiler alert: mine was not for love.

I signed up to make taco meat for my kids school today since it’s teacher appreciation week and the PTO planned a Cinco de Mayo Taco Tuesday lunch.

I don’t know about other families with kids in both middle school and elementary school, but our mornings are a bit hectic and at least one person is grumpy or running late.

A smarter person might have opted to make the meat the night before, but I like to be efficient instead of smart so I tend to squeeze in as many chores in as I can before I head off to work.

Now, I hear there are several ways to drain the fat from ground beef, in fat my mother in law keeps her newspaper specifically for this purpose. My go to is to offset the lid ever so slightly and try to dump the fat in a mug while straining to hold both the handles and lid of this VERY hot pan in a way they are not meant to held and praying nothing slips or my meat will end up on the counter.

Inevitably, some fat escapes the mug and ends up on the counter. In the meantime, my kids are asking me where their homework is and why they have to eat a banana for breakfast and arguing about whether oobleck is a solid or a liquid.

I find the homework and help open the banana and proceed to pickup the mug of steaming hot fat to wipe down the counter.

You guys, my brain glitched and told me this nice warm mug in my hand was my wonderful coffee that was neglected and likely cold on a table somewhere at this point.

I took a big old gulp and boy was it HOT. I immediately move to the sink to spit it out and my instincts kick in and yell at me that I CANT PUT FAT DOWN THE SINK so it sits in my mouth for an agonizing 10 seconds longer than it should have as I run to the garbage and spit it out.

My mouth is now coated in fat and I gag a little and I try water and I try my cold neglected coffee and neither work to clear it out.

My son asked me what’s wrong and I say the words out loud “I drank the fat” before I start laughing a bit hysterically. Too bad my kids don’t get the reference.

TLDR: my morning-addled brain decided hot beef fat was a better alternative than cold coffee. Happy cinco de mayo.